an end

He opens the door annoyed at who would interrupt his breakfast, swinging the door open still with a half complete omelette in a frying pan in one hand. He opens to blinding morning light to a seeming even smaller Nancy Wheeler. In a moment a pit forms in his stomach, he takes a deep breath and walks back into the kitchen leaving Nancy to close his front door. returning the pan the flame he listens to Nancy following him into the kitchen. He decides it's best to let her strike up the conversation.

That then leads to about a minute of extremely awkward silence

"Steve...I'm sorry"

he scoffs at that

"I never meant to hurt you."

wow really ripping this one right out the book aren't you wheeler. finishing up his omelette forgetting the chives he set aside. finally turning to look at her to see concentrating on her hands fidgeting like she does when she's nervous, she seems more nervous than hes ever seen her. he sets the plate down across from her, the clink getting her attention and briefly there eyes meet, probably the most honest moment this is ever going to get.

"well, don't I just feel so much better." the first words he spoke since she arrived and sounding a little hoarse.

"Steve." Nancy says in a chiding tone. Like she still has a say in how he should conduct himself.

"What do you want me to say?"

"well... I was hoping you could forgive me?" not really sure what she came here for exactly.

Steve getting slightly more relaxed in his. "there's nothing to forgive nance, you don't love me, the end." not being able to look at her any more deciding to just play with his food.

"I...I do love you" it sounds pained and unsure.

"But you're not IN love with me, or is it just not how you love Jonathan?" holds himself back enough to not spit out the name.

"steve" that sweet pitying voice reverberating through him.

He figures he'll never get around to his omelette and gets up to grab some Tupperware, sliding it in with practiced ease. putting the plate in sink he uses the counter as a crutch as he asks "were you ever in love with me?"

"....I don't know"

if Steve could look at himself through Nancy's eyes at this moment he would eerily remind himself of his father. fists clenching against the counter top hands turning white slightly hunched, a sight he has seem his father do when he was about to lecture Steve.

he takes a few solid breaths before he asks "did you wish it was him?"

"what do you mean?"

"the year we spent together, do you wish you spent it with him?"

"...y..yes." hushed and remorseful.

Steve couldn't help but laugh, it was painful to hear, even to Steve himself.

"I lost the girl to Johnathon 'the freak' Byers." scraping his hand through his hair.

"don't call him that." with a little grit herself.

"heh...do you know how he got that name?" finally turning into her direction but only able to look into the distance.

he takes her silence as a go ahead. Not knowing she is analyzing all the pain on his face, at least the parts the bruises don't cover

"it was 8th grade we had won our... fifth game that season, the team were celebrating in the hallway jumping up and like a pack of animals. I was in the middle being the worst of them, until I saw byers, he was just staring. It reminded me of how a scientist looks at a mouse, so I called him the freak and it stuck. there had already been times he was caught staring at least a dozen times mostly girls. but after the nickname the rumors just kept on coming, he cut up animals, he was in love with one of the basketball players, he was a devil worshiper. That was when I figured out exactly how much power I held, I ruined this kids chance of having any friends with just a few words. I didn't feel any real remorse, And when I saw those pictures he took of us, I felt validation."

"Steve that was a mistake, he apologized for that."

"he had an entire night to feel what he had to, he still kept them and had them developed in the schools red room."

"He had just lost his brother Steve, if it was mike I wouldn't care if it looked entirely moral, I would do what ever it took."

"yeah, maybe you're right." god that could be our relationship catch phrase, only fitting to be there at the end. He decides to start working on the dishes as he has run out of steam, feeling like a horse performed tap on your face tends to do that.

A long eerie silence fell over them again. Steve decided to wait for Nancy to go down that mental bullet point list she made before leaving her house.

"Are you ok after the fight with Billy?"

"peachy"

"Steve"

"I can take care of myself Nance."

"I know that, but I still care about you Steve."

"Then stop." he forces some finality into his voice.

"...I can't just"

"I'm not your problem to fix Nance." he says louder than he wanted, his last dish clattering into the drying rack.

"okay, I'm sorry, and I'm not just sorry for that. You deserved better."

steve just saddles back into his seat, waiting for her to get this all off her chest, hoping all of this would help her in some way or other.

"I'm sorry for pulling you into this bizarre upside down craziness, I'm sorry for leaving you to take care of the kids, I'm sorry for how things happened the last couple of days, and I'm sorry for hurting you."taking a breath "I would understand if you hate me and never want to see me again."

"first of all I don't think I could ever hate you Nance. You apologized last year and as I said, you pointed a gun at me to leave, and may I add, if I didnt run back in there you and Johnathon probably would have died. The kids might be total shitheads especially your little brother, Dustin's a good kid though, too smart for his own good, but a good kid. I accept that you're sorry about us, and if you need my forgiveness, you have it. But you're right I dont really want to see you ever again...looking at you hurts."

"heh, this break-up thing isn't nearly as easy as people say."

a maelstrom of emotions overwhelm steve at that statement.

"you just dont seem to understand Nancy, this IS easy for you. you have Johnathon, I have memories, memories where I am at my happiest, memories where I feel loved, and, and they're all lies."

he feel his cheeks warm up, as he feels tears falling down his face he reaches up to dab at it, and inspects it only for his vision to cloud up. He turns to look away from Nancy and croaks out "I think it's time for you to leave, and please don't come back." as he darts to the stairs to leave her in the kitchen ruminating about what he just said.

Nancy goes back to her car starts her engine only for the emotions to come rushing in, left with little other options she tucks her knees into her chest and cries into her skirt. A memory she won't quickly forget crying in your first ex-boyfriends driveway. being only able to remember all of the times he was there when she broke down, how soft his voice got when she woke from a nightmare by his side, how safe she felt in his arms. She found the strength to start the engine, but before she left she had one more bullet point to say, so she whispered "I'm glad I dated you Steve Harrington." driving back she felt a big weight leave her chest, but unsure if she wanted it gone in the first place.