!!Update January 15!!

Hey everyone, I know Its been a really long time already and I apologize. Where am I, what have I been doing and when is the next chapter coming? I'm sure those are the three things you all want to know so let me try to answer them properly.

--------"Where are you?"

If you've read the previous update, you know I've had a lot of trouble and things just kept pilling up. I first wanted to take a small break and then write some new chapters between that break and the holidays but I was unable to because of those trouble. They're still ongoing too by the way, my medical problem hasn't been fixed because I can't see a doctor thanks to the pandemic, and things keep breaking down around the house. Life never stops.

We're done with the possibility of identity theft though, it was just a strange fishing attempt, a weird scam, I just don't know how they got all those info on me.

The conclusion is, I'm still here, well, obviously since none of us can leave our houses. I'm alive, I'm sort of well on a purely physical standpoint and I still have no job. This means, I can write and I will/am.

-------"So when is the next chapter coming?

--------We've been waiting for 4 months already!"

Sorry, again, I had not realized it had been this long. You know, I don't have an actual job and I've been extra busy so I really didn't see the time fly by. From my own viewpoint, I feel like I posted the last chapter only last week.

The good news is, I never actually stop writing even when I'm ultra busy because writing is what I do to feel better.

The bad news is that I wasn't writing about Born from a divine gamble. I wrote 38 chapters worth of text that you'll probably never see. This all tie in to the last question of what the hell I've been doing so I'll wait a bit to talk about it and finish answering the present question first.

I've talked about it before but I'll do it again in case you haven't seen or you forgot. I like to write and create those worlds more than mostly anything in life but my brain doesn't like to cooperate and think solely on the thing I'm currently working on or the thing I want to work on. It just goes wherever it pleases him and I end up with mountains of idea that can't apply to the story I want to write. I can ignore them for a while but everything end up clogged eventually and then the words just don't want to come out anymore.

Since I'm not getting rewarded for any this, I'd rather dodge that clogged state and just go along with what my brain feels like working on right now. This is why I have 38 chapters of crap I can't release and why I have absolutely no clue about when the next BFDG chapter is coming.

I just don't know which of my stories I'll feel like writing next week. As I've said many times, I also have many other stories that I never released, either because I think that they're more suited for an actual novel format or simply because I don't feel comfortable showing them to the public. Maybe you'll get a bit of "Image diver" or the long awaited next chapter of "Tv show of a bored god" or maybe I'll write about Invisible Janice even though you might never see her adventures. (not a pun)

I promise that chapters are coming eventually, I just don't know when my brain will be up to write about something that isn't terrible trash and at that point, which of the stories it will be turned towards.

The only thing I can promise is that yes, I am indeed writing every single day of the week.

Part of me does understand that people are waiting for the next part of the story and that I can't expect to ever actually be rewarded for my work unless I keep at it and make my viewership steadily grow but I don't know how to focus my thoughts on this alone. I already have the next forty chapters all planned out, everything is noted and outlined properly, all I got to do is put them into actual chapters but I just don't feel like working on it right now. I know some people think its nonsensical and stupid to have a forty chapter draft but being unable to turn it all into actual text but that's how it is.

I think the reason why my brain can't be bothered working on this is exactly because it's all planed out already. I know exactly what needs to happen and since I know all the main beats, my brain can't be bothered to fill in the empty spots in between. I'll repeat it again however, our story here isn't over, I'm not putting an end to anything, I love this story and I've spent way too much time on building its world and characters to just leave it behind. I'm just waiting for it to come back to the forefront of my mind so that I can write proper engaging chapters instead of something that feels like a machine wrote it.

One could argue that whatever I write about, its all an equal waste of my time anyway and that I should be looking for a job in earnest but that's not my opinion. I do this all for my personal satisfaction first and foremost. I write what I please because it pleases me to do so.

I am looking forward to all of your reactions on the next few twists in this story, I truly am, but I can't give a release date with any confidence or honesty. I don't even know how to put it myself, I'm not fed up with the story and I'm not burned out, I'm not stuck on what should happen next and I'm not dissatisfied with how things are going either, I just can't seem to type the words I need onto the page. I want to, I truly do, its just not happening.

If you're reading this hoping to see a chapter pop up next week, I'm very sorry, it's not happening. There's not a single word written for the next chapter of BFDG yet. If I was to suddenly feel inspired about it tomorrow, it would take two or three days to write it and then I'd like to wait a week before rereading it and fixing all the small mistakes. That means that if a miracle happens, the earliest the next chapter will appear is on the 28 of January.

-------"So, if you weren't writing BFDG, what were you doing all this time?"

That's the longest thing to answer since I did a lot.

Keep in mind that from hereon, you won't learn anything more about when the next update of BFDG is coming. You can just leave now if you don't care, that would be perfectly normal and I don't want to waste all your time. Under this is just me rambling about some problems I had, about the text I don't want to publish and about games I finally had time to play I guess.

I still can hardly believe it's really been 4 months.

Where do I even begin? I guess I should start about the thing I wrote huh? I expect many people to be mad about me writing 38 chapters worth of things and never be shown the result.

I'll be honest here, it's absolute garbage on every possible level, I was just way to caught up in it to realize just how much time I wasted on this before I did the maths earlier in this update.

Its a fanfic inspired by a fanfic. I know, it's horrible, I was just suddenly inspired by the weird setting that person came up with and I wanted to see where I could go with something similar. It gets even worse though, the fanfic was NSFW and of course my brain decided to follow suit so mine is just as degenerate. There's no way I can let anyone read this, I've never written something this embarrassing and its not even the only NSFW thing I've written. The worst part is that I'm still feeling like writing about this some more. I've been trying to redirect my brain onto other things for weeks but I've been unable to. Mine isn't even better than the original fanfic, the guy is actually pretty good at it, I just spun it all on my own sauce, it's just a "what if instead". If you're really curious, it was a fic about "the gamer" and other things mixed in written by a certain wolf. I'm sure you can figure it out if you're really that desperate to know but please remember it's NSFW before coming back to complain to me about it.

Anyway, that's what I've "worked" on since September.

Besides that, I was supposedly in a break at some point in those four months so I've had the time to complete a few games.

I've completed Mario odyssey, I got all the moons and I'm done. Despite what people say, the hardest part wasn't the last gauntlet of horror on the dark sides of the moon, it was instead the moon where you have to jump the rope in the city. It took me a whole day of practice to get it, it's one of the most frustrating things I've ever done in gaming.

Then I've completed Link's awakening, fun game, I don't have much to say about it. Then again, games are more fun when they're actually fun aren't they? It wasn't hard at all but had a lot of humor and fun challenges, I liked it.

Then I've completed Mario vs rabbids, I adore xcom and fire emblem so I knew I'd like it but I was a bit disappointed by the lack of depth in that game. There isn't enough variety or options to truly make a team tailored to what you want to achieve or play with. I felt very limited. Not a bad game but not close to the level that other tactical strategy games have achieved.

Next I managed to finally find out what was wrong about my Terraria. Turns out that all I had to do was forcefully erase all the files and ask steam to verify the caches. It's dumb because I uninstalled and reinstalled it many times and it didn't work but just having it verify fixed it. I guess the problematic file wasn't removed by steam on uninstall. In any case, after playing a bunch of games on my switch and my PS4 I was once again shocked to play a game at the great 10fps my computer can achieve. The game speed seems to be tied to the frame rate in Terraria's case because everything moves in slow motion all the time. That game is one of my favorites but now it's just too big, my computer can't handle its awesomeness.

Then I've started a bunch of games on my playstation. I played metal gear, I've played death stranding and I've played spiderman. I like all three even though I'm bad at spiderman.

I'm sure I don't have to explain why I liked metal gear, I like to plan out my approach and deal with all the guards everywhere in a methodical way. The reason I haven't finished it is because I got swept up by other games but I'll go back to it.

Death stranding I like for the simple reason that I really love to plan things out, I like to look at the map and prepare for a specific trip, I like the world there too but I understand why it's so decisive, it's mostly walking around. Some people think that walking from point a to point b is a boring chore but I think they're too focused on the objective instead of the road they're on. There's a lot to think about, they turned the world itself into your opponent and I feel that if you look only at the end rather than the journey, you're missing most of the fun in that game. That game is just like BFDG, it's slow and it feels like you're going nowhere but there's a lot to enjoy if you take your time. that's just my opinion though, you don't have to agree.

As for spiderman, I'm really bad at action games. I can't ever remember all the combos and the specific way to beat each and every bad guy. I like to swing around the city and beat up random goons but I'm too proud to lower the difficulty of the game so it's taking me an awfully long time to get past many of the fights involving abnormal enemies.

Then, there are some games I started and finished. I played and beat Blasphemous, although not the new game plus. I expected it to be harder than it actually was with everyone saying how difficult it was. The hardest part is honestly just the painting place with all the swinging blades over the pit of spikes. I died so many times in that one room its not even funny. Aside from that, I didn't have many problems at all except for some obscure puzzles. I had to google the answer to the room with the three books about bones. I completed everything and went on the fight the final boss, I got a 99,5% completion. I had not realised that the two endings of the game had 0,5% attached to them and I can't get the bad ending for the last 0,5% I'm missing without going through the whole game again. I'll eventually get to doing it if only for the DLC but it's still annoying me.

Next up, I tried Nioh for the first time and I loved it immediately. I ran through the whole first difficulty of the game and then right at the end, I got the infamous stutter stepping bug. If you don't know about it, here's the deal, the game is much too picky about the control stick input and if your controller is a bit aged the game can't see the inputs properly anymore. That means that William keeps stopping and restarting forward every single seconds rendering the game mostly unplayable. I love this game with all my heart but damn I hate the way they programmed this, the only fix for it is getting a brand new controller or dismantling your old one to clean the part under the stick and hope it will fix the issue.

Instead of doing that, I jumped right into Nioh 2 and hoped that the same wouldn't happen and it surprisingly didn't until the moment I defeated the last boss of the main campaign. I felt pretty frustrated because I wanted to play more and I had just decided to invest some of my minimal amount of money into the DLCs. So in the end, I did end up finding myself a new controller, I just want to play more of that game, I really love it. I already played way too much of it but I still want more, I want to go through all the difficulties and look at everything that game has to offer. This is where most of my time not writing or trying to deal with one problem or another has disappeared into. I have Ghost of Tsushima waiting to be played right there along with the many other games I have yet to finish but I just don't want to put down Nioh. I don't know why exactly, it just resonated with me. I value Nioh 1 and 2 very highly despite the frustration that bug has caused me. I'd recommend them to anyone liking action games or souls-like games. I actually like those better than the souls game even though I think the two can't really be compared, they always are but they're completely different, not just in flavor but also in their basic mechanics there's only really the death and the shrine mechanics that are the same, nothing else.

Aside from all the fun and games, I had a bunch of problems, if you've read my last update, I'm sure you remember. here's a list of what the hell disturbed my peace since September.

The fridge stopped working, I heard there's actually a massive court case going on against the company who made it because everyone seems to have the same fridge problem. The ice maker isn't built properly, it jams and then leaks which in turns eventually leads to insane fan noise and then the breakdown of said fan. Once that fan is dead, the temperature in the fridge rises sharply so now it can't be used properly as a fridge and we don't have the money for a new one since we didn't expect it to only last us like five years. We have an old one in the basement that's been working fine since the nineties so at least we have a back-up.

The washing machine also died last week so that's great too, another thing to buy.

I had a medical problem that knocked me out for weeks and I just nursed myself back up because thanks to the pandemic, it's impossible to see a doc right now for something that isn't life threatening. I'm not in pain anymore right now thankfully but its not fixed at all, it's just sleeping and waiting for me to make one wrong move.

Then there was that identity theft thing I spoke about earlier. Apparently, someone in the US somehow managed to get the personal info of many canadians and sent them letters, I received one too. The letter included phone numbers to contact to verify the authenticity of the letter and it was actually a real official number but they couldn't test anything because the government website has been overworked and down for a long long time. I tried checking the info of the letter guy there for two weeks straight with no success, I was never able to even get the website to load. In the end, I just googled the phone number they wanted us to call for the possible fraud using my name and it was a number registered in the states. I highly doubt that a government official of Canada is residing in the states, plus, google says that the same number was searched a few hundred times in the few weeks before I made my own search. I don't know what the fuck happened there but there's no way I'm calling that number.

Then my hair keeps falling off and I haven't found any way to stop it yet which is incredibly frustrating. I don't want to be bald in my twenties, what sort of crap is that?

Then my friend said that the place he worked at was about to hire so I sent my CV to him but then they pushed it back to until after the holidays and now again until spring so I have my CV sitting somewhere with no one reading it unless they suddenly decide to at which point I better be watching my mailbox carefully if I don't want to miss the opportunity. That sort of thing stresses me out, I don't like it when things happen out of my control or out of my range of awareness. I want to be warned beforehand if they're about to send me an email or a call, I don't want to be taken by surprise, I want to have some time to calm myself down and not fuck up the interview.

Next up, the ants came back, winter this year is surprisingly hot and the ants have woken up again in early December. I crushed another one in the bathroom just this morning. I hate those things, they're really frustrating me and I can't find out were they're coming from no matter how hard I try to track them. Must I use flex tape on every single tiny opening in the house in order to stop them from running around the kitchen floor?

I also have some trouble with my mouse, the wheel doesn't work properly anymore so I got to use the side bar to scroll. It's annoying when I'm writing because sometimes, My chapters get so long that the bar becomes tiny and moving it just a bit sends me flying across the text even though I just want to check one paragraph above. I'm broke again now though because of Nioh's DLCs so no new mouse for a while.

Lastly and least of all, aside from the usual things like preparing everything for winter that is, I tried to contact minecraft support. This is the stupidest customer support I've ever faced. I bought minecraft around ten years ago, the game wasn't officially released yet but I don't remember if it was in alpha or beta. My friends wanted to play it over the holidays and I wanted to join but I couldn't login. You see, nowadays, minecraft uses email address rather than username for people to log in. When I type in my username and password, the game doesn't recognize me because it's not an email address and when I type in the email address, it doesn't recognize it because it hasn't been properly registered on this fifth instance of their new website or some random crap I don't get.

So I go check the FAQ to see if there's a simple solution to my apparently simple problem. They say I need the transaction ID to prove ownership of the game. Of course, to make my life simple, I don't have that. It was sent by mail when I bought it ten years ago and used another email address entirely. I was careful back then too so I went through all the procedures to thoroughly erase it from existence, that email box is gone completely. If I don't have the transaction ID, the FAQ says, contact support and they'll help you.

So I fill up a ticket explaining the whole thing in details and send that. An hour after, I receive an answer from a bot saying to check the FAQ first. I got annoyed since I came from there but the worst part was having to rewrite the whole thing again because the auto response didn't join my original ticket with its answer.

Then, a human support comes in and ask for four things, one of which is the transaction ID that I specifically don't have and another is the exact month of the purchase which I can't remember because it was around ten years ago. Following that, I had a back and forth of email with this person of the support in which I felt they were never even reading my answers and kept asking me for things I had already answered or that I was here specifically because I didn't have. I had never been this angry in my life before and in the end, I never got my minecraft account back. If I ever want to play again, I'll have to buy it anew at like four times the price I bought it for to begin with and I won't be able to use my usual username because it's already taken, by myself. Let me tell you that by the end of that chain of email, I really wasn't in the mood to pay for that game again. I wanted nothing more than to punch the person on the other side of that screen.

I get that the support technicians of anything have it rough but I just want them to do their job properly and read the answers I send them. It's their job to help me, not make me do flips into loops of fire with a blindfold! There was a three to four day silence between each of their answers and they were always so retarded I'd get mad immediately as I read them. I felt like they had no brain or they were plainly mocking me. Seriously, who keeps a ten years old receipt for a single tiny game? Who can honestly say that they remember which month of which year they made a very specific purchase like that? All I knew was that I was in college and the game wasn't on its version 1.0 yet, that's it, there's no way I can give a better answer than that even if you ask me the same five more times. God I'm angry about it all over again.

Let me tell you that when the email for "How would you rate the support you received?" came in, I had a strongly worded answer for them. They made me loose time and money with their shit support, I've never seen a support so unhelpful in my life before and I can guaranty that I'm slapping them in the face if I ever meet the person who was answering me in real life.

To end on a better note, I hope everyone will have a fantastic year this time around. I wasn't bothered by the pandemic really because I never go out in the first place but I understand that most found it terrible. I wish a good 2021 to every single one of my beautiful readers and to the not so beautiful as well. I've had quite some fun watching vtubers recently, I think it's strange how it suddenly became big like a month after I've first heard of the concept but some of them are really funny. That's an idea of something to do while you're all feeling bored waiting for the next chapter of my story I guess, go watch one of them, or something else entirely, maybe watch Starship troopers, that's always funny.

As a side note to this ending, this update post is as long as two thirds of a chapter, see how much quicker I write when I'm feeling like it? It's two whole days of work realized in a single afternoon.

See you all soon hopefully, leave a comment about anything, if you feel like it, I'll start reading comments everyday again right now. That's all for now. 4444 words.