My fault

"Ash, what's wrong?" Skye asked.

She woke up to find Ash sitting at the edge of the bed with his back facing her.

"There's something you need to know." He turned to her.

Although she woke up from her surgery not too long ago, Ash thought it was best to tell her about the miscarriage sooner rather than later. He spent the night mentally preparing himself for it but now that the time had come, the fear, sadness, and pain hit him triple-fold.

"What's the matter?" Skye sat up straight, all the drowsiness leaving her body.

"Promise me you won't let what I'm about to say affect you," Ash said despite knowing that his request was nearly impossible.

"Ash, you're scaring me. Did something happen? Just tell me." Skye was getting anxious.

Ash grabbed her hands as a way of comforting her before telling her the most heartbreaking news. "After your surgery yesterday, the doctor told us some news." His palms were already shaky and sweaty as he spoke, "It turns out that- that after the night we spent together, you got pregnant, precisely about two weeks pregnant... but the whole ordeal from the kidnapping and the stress you went through, led to you... losing the baby."

Skye momentarily stopped breathing. "What?..." She stiffened and asked in a daze, her mind still processing what Ash had just told her.

In less than thirty seconds, with one sentence, she found out she was pregnant and lost the pregnancy.

"What?" This time the severity of the situation was clear to her.

It finally made sense. The way she vomited even though her stomach was empty, the constant passing out, the exhaustion... It was all due to the pregnancy that she wasn't aware of.

"It's all my fault." Skye cried. "It's my fault."

"None of this is your fault. If you want to blame anyone, blame me, okay?" Ash tried consoling her but his words reached deaf ears.

Skye wouldn't listen. She was convinced that the miscarriage was due to her carelessness.

She refused to eat while being held captive, deprived herself of sleep until she passed out, stressed herself by thinking too much, and dehydrated herself. The worst part was that when Theo was kicking her body, including her stomach, she didn't even think to cover herself, she let her child get beat up inside her.

"Nooo!" She yelled, unconsciously squeezing Ash's hands in the process. "How could I?"

"Skye, please, don't blame yourself, think of your health." Ash tried to reason with her while trying to keep his own emotions in check. Watching her break down nearly made him crack but like his father said, he needed to be strong for her.

"My health? Why should I care about my health when I didn't care enough to protect my child? Why do I get to come out alive while they didn't get to see the world?" She yelled, placing the blame entirely on herself. She felt like a failure. 

"It wasn't your fault, you didn't know you were pregnant."

"That's the point! A human being was growing inside me, MY CHILD! and yet I didn't know. The signs were there yet I ignored them, now it's gone." Skye completely broke down, "I should have eaten no matter how small the food was, I should have slept more- I should have been careful with the life that was growing inside me, Ash... But I wasn't." She fell on his chest and cried her heart out.

All Ash could do was console her in silence. He knew nothing he said would make a difference because she was feeling the pain more than he was. He had expected her to blame him, but instead, she blamed herself and that was worse.

Skye was in despair. Although the pregnancy hadn't developed much, the loss felt like a huge blow for her. It was like going through the pain of losing her parents all over again but this time, she was to be blamed.

She felt like she killed her unborn child. The life that was growing inside her, died inside her before getting to see the world.

It was like she was a disappointment to motherhood because any mother would have known that a child was growing inside them, but she didn't. She was oblivious and careless to the condition of her body.

Skye cried and cried until Ash's shirt was soaked with her tears. But she couldn't stop, the tears kept on flowing as if someone had left a tap running in her eyes.

"Everything will be alright." Ash continued reassuring her. "We'll go through this together."

Skye cried for what felt like forever until her body could no longer handle it and she passed out.

With her being unconscious, Ash could finally let his tears out. He just wished she had blamed him instead of herself.

Both of them were suffering inside but rather than blaming the men who caused it by attacking them, they blamed themselves.