Reluctance

"Yes, my favourite genre of book is certainly... war novels, what is yours?" I said, reading directly from the notes that Aria had drafted for me. I had quite a bit of success over the past couple of weeks, mostly thanks to the princess's borderline stalking and widespread connections. No official courting dates yet, but lots of unofficial walks and 'accidental' meetups had helped me to solidify some foundations with potential suitors. Honestly the whole thing was exhausting. I had about five hundred different personalities depending on which arrogant, brain-dead Lord Aria had set me up with. This one was no different.

He was a mid-ranking Lord of the Brawn house, who were renowned for being ridiculously powerful Warlocks and brilliant Generals. Their fortunes were built off the spoils of a thousand wars and their children were trained since they could walk. Every single one of them wore a hard and macho exterior, while their brains were softer then a baby's peaceful coos. In fact, they despised all expression of intelligence and the only books they read were war novels.

"Woah, I love War Novels. Everything else is just so... complicated." He replied, his voice muffled by his greedy consuming of a cake. Ah, yes, war. So simple, am I right? I scoffed in my head.

"This was so fun, we should hang out another time." I lied, obeying Aria's fifth rule: always seem eager to hang out with them.

"Umm, me mam says I shouldn't really hang out with you. I am looking for a wife and you aren't really a right fit." He said, stuffing yet more cake into is endless mouth.

"Well, why not?"

"Don't get me wrong. You're nice and all. Never has such a beautiful woman given me any attention, and the princess has said lots of brilliant things about you. The thing is, you're a human and I don't want my children to be like that."

"I am not a human?! What are you talking about?!" I demanded, furious someone was spreading lies about me.

"Its a rumour goin' round, my Lady. You say you're a warlock, and your father is one but your mam is- was human and no one has ever seen you do magic, not in the time you've been here."

"Well, I just have never learned."

"Yeah, but I am not willing to take that risk." He fake-smiled poorly and walked off. Annoyance crept a weight onto my shoulders. That was the third time a potential relationship had been thwarted by that specific rumour. Bloody, f*cking gossip, I thought to myself. Although it was not true, I could not disprove it, as I had never learned, nor did any of my family members trust me enough to teach me.

"We need to get you a teacher." Aria said, once I had told her what happened

"Yea, well, no sh*t! Why can't you teach me?!"

"As much as I would love to spend more time with you, with your unending arrogance and somehow ignorance at the same time, I'm afraid that my job won't allow me to do that. It's not setting the right example."

Aria's official court job as the closest female relative to King Tristan was to represent the 'Femininity of the Crown'. She negotiates marriage contracts and, at least within the nobility, if her signature is not there then the marriage is illegitimate. She also has to keep all of the women of the court 'in line'. Having to make sure that every single woman is acting to the impossibly high standards of the upper class must be exhausting and I can kind of see why she would want more. Still spoiled though, I thought.

"Well, isn't that just so~ convenient for you?"

"Yes, it is actually." Aria replied with a chuckle," Anyway, you need to find yourself a teacher. We don't want you to die now, do we?"

"You only don't want be to die because you want me to off your brother. That's all you care about, right? Your f*cking crown." my voice was light and humorous, but I didn't feel that way. I hated the hollow, sickening feeling when you know you are being used, when they don't care about you, not really. For five years, all of my relationships had been like this. I don't know why it had only began to grate on me now.

Aria chuckled and smirked, "Well, we aren't actually friends, are we? That's just a bit to boost your popularity and favour among the men. I am not quite sure I understand why it needs boosting, you are truly gorgeous."

A spark of warmth illuminated my body. It was the first compliment I had ever gotten and, as vain as it may sound, I loved it. However, the spark was soon consumed by the hollowness within. A phrase rung in my head. She is just manipulating you. She doesn't care about you. No one does. Over and over again, and endless screech of truth. The spark quickly turned to anger.

"Right, well, I will find myself a trainer on my own. Goodnight, your Majesty."

With a coldly polite curtsy, I left the room before that b*tch could stop me. I won't be manipulated by her. I won't and I can't. I am stronger than that. I am better than that.

* * *

That night, as my 'family' slept, I snuck out to find a library, or something I could learn from. The castle was so different at night. Shadows swarmed every corner, tendrils of black weaved between the sickly yellow torches that hung from the walls. The paintings that had been a source of pride from every house in this dragon-shit Nobility now lay in obscurity under the power of the darkness. But most frightening of all was the eerie silence. A deep, unending silence, like a brick wall between me and the halls. It felt like a dream, unreal. Whenever I had walked these halls, there were always others, always a hum of chatter and clacking of fancy shoes. It was peaceful, it was nice. This silence was drowning. It made my stomach clench and my heart pace.

I tiptoed through the halls, kept my breathing shallow and slow. I didn't know what they would do if they found me sneaking around but I sure didn't want to know. Suddenly, a unfamiliar foot pattern shattered the silence. It was strong and confident, and getting louder and louder. Adrenaline poured through me. The shadows began to murmur. The lights began to flicker. A silhouetted figure turned the corner, tall and broad. My heart pounding, I ducked behind a column. I plastered my hands to my mouth, not daring to breath.

It felt like an eternity, as he approached my hiding spot. I prayed to whatever spirit would listen that he would not see me, that he had not already seen me. His footsteps soon became so loud that they drummed in my ears. Thankfully, he passed me without hesitation. My prayers had worked, or I had just been lucky. Relief bleed through my tensed muscles, but my head became clouded as I saw him enter a locked room that I had tried to enter earlier.

Curiosity burned at my very core and questions swirled through my brain. Who is that guy? Is he a guard? What is that room? What is he doing so late at night? I begged myself to keep moving, to find a library and mind my own business but the temptation was to overwhelming. I couldn't help but feel my body edging towards the now unlocked door. I peeped inside to find... a library. Well, that's convenient, I thought.

The tower upon tower of books soared seemingly endlessly into the sky. Beautiful, huge curtains of velvet obscured entire walls of text and tapestries. A glimmering chandelier illuminated by a peculiar purple flame doused everything in gorgeous displays of light. Dozens of sofas ranching from settees to small ottomans covered every inch of floor that books and luxurious carpets hadn't already. Dust layered the entire library and it was obviously falling under the weight of neglect, judging by the smell. My senses were so enamoured that i completely forgot of my reason for being in here.

"Who are you?" A deep voice said behind me, slightly nervous. My heart skipping a beat, I spun around to find the man admiring a book from a shelf. His black robe and obsidian skin blended perfectly into the shadows. Dull blue eyes stared at me from behind the covers of the book. He was incredibly tall and broad but I wouldn't have placed him much older than me. On his shirt, he bore a familial crest that I recognized so closely but couldn't quite name.

"Umm, I, errr, I am- Sorry, my name is Amara." I stuttered. He raised his eyebrows.

"Lady Amara Relanos? Heard about you, aren't you supposed to be in solitary confinement?" he said, eyes returning to his shelf.

"Yes, technically I am. But my step- mother really hates me and she is not being fast with finding me a trainer"

"Suppose you've come to stalk me so that I will teach you? The answer is no." He selected one of the books from the shelf and walked past me.

"Umm, I don't even know who you are. I was just looking for a library so that I could teach myself." I replied, slightly annoyed at his assumptions.

"Hah! Teach yourself?" he laughed," that's funny, you should be a comedian!"

"What's so wrong with teaching myself?" At that he turned back around, looking up from his book.

"Okay, do you know what an enchantment is?" I remained silent.

"Great start! Do you know what a summoning is?" I remained silent.

"Awesome! Do you know what drawing is? In terms of magic, I am not talking about quill and paper. If your answer is silence again, I think you get my point."

He chuckled in triumph and placed his book back on the shelf, and began his search for a new one. I clenched my fist in concealed anger.

"Well," I said through gritted teeth, "Do you know anyone who can help me?"

"Yes, me!" For a second, I felt like I had hit the absolute jackpot. I had found someone to teach me and a library, until he continued.

"But, I won't."

"Why in the Spirits not?!" I shouted as loud as I would dare, luckily the books absorbed most of the echo.

"First of all, swearing is a big no-no. Second of all, I specialize in teaching talented Warlocks, destined for greatness. Not people like you. Third of all, I'm lazy and its my break season, so yeah, no."

"Well then, do you know anyone else who can help me?" I realised that I had come off as a tad spoiled so I softened my voice and tried to be more polite.

"Yeah, my five-year-old brother might be able to help."

"Very funny, anyone else?" I sighed.

"Nope!" By his expressions, I could tell that he was lying. Being a smuggler of such as illegal substance of pure magic, you pick up on the little signs of a lie and learn to conceal them yourself.

"You know, The annoying Lord that cannot lie, first to caught, first to die." I whispered

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

My thoughts began to rush through my head about how to get information out of this guy. Hurting him would've been my go to choice but that isn't really an option when he is huge and has a title. Blackmail? but what do I have against him, that he's a dickhead? No, I would need more than that. Title? oh Spirits, I am about to pull the title card, aren't I? Ughhhhhh.

"I am Lady Amara Relanos, Ward to the Relanos Family and biological daughter of the Head Lord Orion Relanos and I demand that you help me, or tell me who can help me." I felt slightly sick after saying those words and I could tell that he was not impressed.

"I am Lord Andrew Brawn, legitimate son of the current Head Lord Brawn and soon to be leader of the Brawn House. I reflect your order, Lady Relanos. You have no authority over me." My cheeks flushed red in embarrassment, and I could see his amusement. I wanted to run out of the room and bury my face in a pillow and maybe kill something. However, I quickly had an epiphany.

"Tell me Lord Brawn, what are you doing in a library at night?" I questioned, my mouth smirking.

"What do you think? Reading, obviously."

"Is that so? Because the only reason you would come at night to a, obviously abandoned, Library is if you didn't want to get caught, correct?" said, edging towards him.

"No. I just like my privacy!" His defensive stance and tone told me all I needed to know about this guy.

"Cause I seem to know a little about you Brawns. You value strength and courage and manly-man-ness. You despise intelligence, saying intelligence does what muscle does, but slower. Isn't that your motto, or something? How disappointed your whole house would be if they found out you were seeking intelligence though books! Don't worry, I can keep my lips sealed but... I need a favour in return." I could literally see his eyes glowing red in the purple light. I have never enjoyed someone's annoyance as much as I did then.

"Fine! Meet in the third south courtyard at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning. Oh, and if you do say anything, I will rip your vocal cords out and eat them for breakfast."

Mission accomplished.