42. Chapter 42

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Chapter 42,

"Tell me something," Jay's voice broke through the silence of their large bedroom. They were finally alone in bed after the seemingly never-ending day.

After many more tears and hugs, which finally shifted into stories and laughter, Will had finally said he needed to return home to Natalie and Owen. Erin had given the three siblings some privacy, and went to set up the spare bedroom for El. With Erin gone, El had whispered a quiet apology to Jay.

"I'm sorry if I made Erin uncomfortable with my comment about the shelter." She had shrugged her shoulders as she said it, and then she had looked at Jay expectantly, like she thought he had known anything about the source of Erin's discomfort.

He hadn't.

So in the moment, he had dismissed El, telling her it was no big deal. But the thought had yet to leave his mind.

And now that they were finally in bed, in the darkness of night, he had his opening. He waited for her to give him his answer.

Instead, she shifted in bed, rubbing her tired eyes, and replied, "What?" as she yawned quietly.

He shifted his head to the side slightly, because he had never received that as an answer to Tell me something.

Maybe she hadn't heard him, he thought. So he repeated himself, this time, elevating his voice above a whisper. "Tell me something."

She let out a sound that was half laugh and half sigh, and said, "Yes, I heard you the first time," she said, shifting her body so that it was propped up more and she was able to see him in the eyes. She twisted the comforter between her fingers as she continued, "But don't you think I'm the one entitled to a 'Tell me something' tonight?"

He let out a small smile and nodded slightly, knowing she was right. It had been a pretty eventful day, to say the least.

"Why didn't you tell me your sister was gorgeous?" Erin hadn't meant that to be her first comment, but it just slipped out. It was honestly the first thing that came to mind. His sister was strikingly beautiful. Like model turned actress pretty.

Of course, after the shock of her beauty had worn off, Erin had began to notice all the personality traits that Jay had described in detail over the past few months. She was sensitive, but bullheaded. She had a some serious sass, but clearly had a kind heart.

Erin liked her already. Although, she wasn't sure how Eloise felt about her. But that was another discussion entirely.

She could tell how much El cared about Jay and Maddie, and how much she was beginning to care about Grace, and truthfully, that was all that mattered.

Jay just let out an irritated groan in response, and replied, "Because she's my sister." He shook his head, closing his eyes momentarily. "And because I spent a not insignificant part of my life trying to get my friends not to try and sleep with her." He wished he was kidding. He wished he didn't already know he was going to need to do the same with Ruzek.

Erin let out a laugh and gently touched his arm, "Rough life, babe." Her voice was full of mirth and she smirked at him.

"It was," he said, exasperated.

"Tell me something," she said, her tone turning serious. "About growing up with your sister."

Jay thought back to all the things he had told her about his sister.

And then he thought back to all the things he hadn't. "She was daddy's little girl," he said, thoughtfully. "But not in the normal way, not the way most fathers are with their daughters."

Erin reached out and laced her fingers between his, and he reveled in the comfort it brought him. He hated thinking about his father. "The thing is, my father was tough. He was that parent who made it to every sports game we ever had, and not in a good way." If he hadn't loved soccer so much, he probably would have stopped playing altogether after the first miserable season with his father in the crowd.

"He would yell from the stands." He could still hear his loud voice echoing over everyone else's. "And he would make us walk home if we didn't play well." It didn't matter if the team had won. It never mattered.

Erin shifted slightly, and he immediately looked up at her, embarrassed when he realized just who he was complaining to.

He met Erin's gaze, expecting to see irritation in her eyes, but instead saw only empathy and love. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be complaining about this to you," he said apologetically.

She immediately shook her head, "Jay, no," she whispered. "I want to hear about this." She didn't want to lay out the street kid trump card. Not with him.

And just because her childhood was what it was didn't mean Jay's was a walk in the park. And either way, she wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about the man that sat in front her, running his fingers over her bare knees as he spoke.

"Okay," he whispered in response. He focused back in on his memories, as he continued to trail his fingers on along her calves and towards her toes. "When I enlisted, it's like he... he took it out on her. I mean... he took it out on me, obviously, but, I don't know," He wasn't sure he was explaining it right.

"It's like he pinned all his hopes and dreams on her." It had been hard to watch. "But," he paused, shaking his head, "I don't think she ever minded. I think she enjoyed it." That had been even harder to watch.

Erin waited a moment, letting a comfortable silence come to rest around them. "It's okay that it bothered you," Erin said, as she reached for the hand now currently moving up towards her thigh.

How does she do that? He thought.

How had she known that he had always felt so unbelievably guilty for the pressure Eloise had been under, but even more than that, he had resented how much she enjoyed the attention.

It had caused him to distance himself from both of them.

Up until the day Allie died, that is. When he and his sister had been brought back together by the terrible tragedy.

"It was childish," he said. Because looking back, it was. He had been hurt by the rejection of his father. And he hated how easily it was for Eloise to get his acceptance, his undivided attention, and his love.

For years, he had wished that he would somehow develop the desire to go into medicine, the way Will and Eloise clearly did. But he hadn't.

But that was no reason to cut out his sister, and to leave her alone with him.

"It was human," Erin corrected. And then she leaned in and kissed him, softly, signaling that he could be finished for the night. That he could be done sharing, if he wanted to, and they could spend the rest of the night finding comfort in each other's arms.

Except, he didn't want to be finished for the night. He had started the conversation for a reason. "Tell me something," he said, against her lips.

She closed her eyes, and leaned her forehead against his. She wasn't sure what he wanted to know, but she knewhe wanted to know something. "Jay," she whispered. "What do you want to know?"

That wasn't how this worked, and Jay suddenly felt uncomfortable. Like maybe Erin didn't want to share. She had been so forthcoming with everything in her life, even when it was awful, even when it was worse that awful, and he didn't want to push.

"Nothing you don't want to tell me," he whispered. "We can forget it." Then he leaned in closer to her and pressed a soft, warm kiss against her lips.

"Jay," she whispered again. The way she breathed his name sent a tingle up his spine, one that made him want to forget all about this conversation and bury his face in her.

But then she continued, "I want to tell you," then she shook her head playfully, "Whatever it is that you want to know." He always had something in mind when he said 'Tell me something', and she knew tonight was nothing new. "I just don't know what you're getting at." She wracked her brain, trying to think of what he might want to know. She laughed, "I think I'm getting a little rusty." Or maybe she was just tired after this long day.

He laughed, and wrapped his arm around her. He kissed the side of her head, and kept his lips pressed against her temple.

"Just ask me," Erin said, knowing he was holding back.

"Okay," he sighed. "Tell me about the shelter."

Oh. She hadn't been expecting that. She had honestly forgotten all about it. She pulled back and looked at him, and then she shook her head softly.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me," he said immediately at the sight of her shaking her head.

He had misinterpreted her movement, so she reached for his head. "No, I just meant, it's not like a bad memory." She stopped and held his gaze. "It was actually kind of nice," as soon as heard the words aloud, her cheeks reddened and she looked down, embarrassed.

What kind of person enjoys living in a shelter?

It's just that the shelter had heat.

And it had other people there.

People that weren't high or strung out like her mother. People that didn't ignore her, leave her hungry, starving equally for food and attention.

When she didn't continue, Jay reached and touched her cheek gently. "Nice?" He asked, softly.

"Yeah," she said, shaking out of her daze. "I had a friend there," she remembered the young blond girl who slept nearby. "And my mom, well, she had never remembered to take me to school," Erin had walked alone to school everyday of her childhood, until she had stopped going altogether. "But there was a social worker there who walked me all the way to school on my first day." She remembered that she hadn't been alone that day.

It had been pretty wonderful.

"A social worker, huh?" Jay said, smiling at his beautiful, strong girlfriend.

"Yeah," she smiled back.

"I'm proud of you, you know that?" Jay said, wrapping her up in his arms.

He would never be able to put into words just how proud he was. Or how lucky he felt that this strong, beautiful woman was willing to be vulnerable, and was willing to be held night after night in his arms. "Letting your childhood shape you in a good way. Always paying it forward like you do." He pressed another soft kiss against her temple. "You're pretty amazing."

She leaned into his body, soaking in his words. "Thank you, baby." But then she added, "I'm kind of proud of me, too."

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Saturday morning had come and gone uneventfully. Between the chocolate chip pancakes, and the extra person to play with them, the girls had been in heaven. They had worn themselves out, and were both down for - what would hopefully be - a very long nap.

Erin was in the kitchen, mindlessly washing dishes from breakfast. Things had been better over breakfast, the conversation less stilted and awkward. It almost seemed like Eloise was beginning to not dislike her.

We'll see, she thought, as she quickly rinsed the final plate before moving onto the three used coffee mugs.

She jumped suddenly as she felt Jay's arms wrap around her waist. "Jesus, Jay," she sighed. "You scared the crap out of me." She hadn't even heard him walk into the kitchen. "Since when are you so stealth?" She asked, not turning around, her hands still busy in the sink.

Jay moved his body against hers slowly and tightened his grip around her waist. "You do know I'm a detective, right?" He whispered into her ear. "I can be very quiet."

Okay, well she definitely wasn't going to let that one go. She turned off the sink and inhaled deeply as she felt the hard part of his center nestle against her backside. She leaned back, letting her head fall back against his chest. "I must have forgotten," she said. "Maybe you should show me how quiet you can be," she said breathily, as she pressed her body and rubbed it deliberately against him.

His groan was audible and loud, and Erin couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of her. She turned around and gave him an apologetic smile, feeling a little bad for laughing at him. Kind of.

But she seemed to have forgotten just how much he loved that sound, because it did nothing to stop his mood. If anything, it stirred him on even more.

Suddenly, his hands founds her bottom and he lifted her up on the counter. He slowly began trailing kisses down her neck as he ground his body against hers.

What is it about this kitchen? he thought, as he found her collarbone and began to tease it with his tongue.

"Babe," she whispered, her voice hoarse and low.

The raspiness in her voice turned him on even more, and he took possession of her mouth greedily. The kissed deepened, and he began to press the palms of his hands hard against her legs, so she could feel them through the fabric as they trailed upwards.

When they came within millimeters of her center, she pulled away from him, panting heavily. His lips immediately found her neck again, and he began to shove her shirt aside with his teeth. "The... kids..." she breathed, too out of breath to finish the sentence.

When he lifted his lips to answer, she immediately missed the warmth of his tongue against her skin. "The kids are asleep," he said, and then he plunged his tongue into her mouth once again, and he used his hands to scoot her body towards the edge of the counter. She wrapped her legs around him, and he began to lift her off the edge.

"Not all the kids," came a voice from the hallway.

Jay immediately moved Erin back onto the counter, but he refused to turn and look at his baby sister. He knew the evidence of his arousal would be all over his face... and his pants. "El," he sighed, and then he dropped his face into Erin's shoulder. "You're killing me."

Erin was glad Jay hadn't immediately jumped off of her, but she wasn't sure why. Was it because she wanted Eloise to know that this was her home? Was she taking Eloise's possessive behavior and trying to one up her?

No, she realized. That wasn't it.

She just didn't want to hide the fact that this was her apartment, too. And she didn't want to spend the next fews weeks, or however long Eloise was planning to stay, walking around on eggshells in her own home.

"Sorry, Eloise." Erin said. Her face felt hot, and she wasn't sure if it was embarrassment or residual feelings from Jay, who's body was still hot against her own.

Eloise just moved towards the kitchen, and opened the cabinet, pulling out a clean mug. "Don't stop on my account," she teased, as she smirked at her brother. She couldn't remember the last time she had walked in on her brother, but it happened often enough when she was growing up.

It felt so fucking normal. She was just the kid sister, and he was the older brother, sneaking in a make out session in a different room.

God, she missed these days.

When Jay's body finally returned to it's resting state, he pulled away from Erin and he finally turned to face his sister.

Eloise noticed that he and Erin both looked mortified, and she couldn't help but laugh. "God, relax, you two." Eloise began, as she poured herself a second cup of coffee. "This isn't the first time I've walked in on you in a compromising position," she raised her eyebrows momentarily. "Although, I hope to god it's the last."

Then in lieu of adding cream and sugar, she decided to just take her coffee black, and stepped quickly out of the room.

Now it was Erin's turn to raise her eyebrow. "Got a story you want to share?" She teased.

Jay shook his head, exasperated, and let out a small laugh. "No." Definitely not. "I'm good."

Four females under one roof, he thought. They're going to be the death of me.

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"I was thinking," Erin turned over so she was facing Jay. It was Sunday night, and after another long day, they were finally in bed. She had yet to cover herself with his t-shirt, and so her naked body was now pressed against his. "About your sister."

"God, Erin," he cut her off, "Can we not talk about my sister while you're naked." When she turned around, he had been hoping for a round two.

She laughed, and then sent him an apologetic shrug. "You should do something just the two of you," she continued, ignoring his request. "Tomorrow, maybe."

He wanted to argue, because he had to work tomorrow, and after work he wanted to come home to his girls. All of his girls. But instead, he said, "If I say okay, can we stop talking about her?"

She kissed him hard, and then said, "If you say okay, we don't have to talk at all."

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"Hey, Sarge," Jay knocked on Voight's door the following morning, noticing that he was finally finished with his phone call.

Voight motioned for Jay to enter, leaning back in his chair. "What's up, Halstead?"

"I was hoping I could take an hour for lunch today." They didn't have anything going on, he had finished all of his paperwork before the weekend had even begun, and he really had somewhere he needed to be. "I'll be available by phone."

Voight looked at him, considering his answer. "You got plans?" He knew Erin was working through lunch today, he had actually just gotten off the phone with her. He had had to cancel Sunday night dinner last at the last minute, and he just wanted to check in with her. She had pressed him on his plans, but Hank hadn't been forthcoming.

"Uh, yeah." Jay said, shifting uncomfortably.

"What kind of plans?" Voight asked.

Jay raised his eyebrows, signaling that this was an unfair question. Voight wasn't exactly asking as his boss, but when Jay was standing in his office, he felt compelled to answer as though he was.

Voight just shrugged, and then said sternly, "Be back by 1:00. Not a minute later." He didn't mind playing the boss card when it suited him, and he wasn't about to apologize for it.

Jay rushed out of the his office and grabbed the leather jacket that was slung over his chair. He opened the home screen of his iPhone, and found the number he was looking for, and pressed the green call button.

She answered as soon as he reached the stairs. "Hey, El," he said. "If I send you an address, can you meet me there?"

"Suureee," she said, slowly and skeptically into the receiver of the phone. "You want to try to be more cryptic?"

"Not really," he said, and then he hung up without another word and sent her the address on his way to the car.

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Twenty minutes later, he was standing and waiting for her outside of the store. He checked his phone once more, wondering where she was. He only had forty minutes left, and it was going to take him 15 minutes to get back to work.

"Woah," she said when she walked towards him. "We're going to see Steve aren't we?"

"Actually," his face lit up with his bright Halstead grin. "I've been to see Steve, already."

"Really?" She said, a mix of surprise and excitement in her voice. "You have?"

"Really," he replied. "Want to come in, make sure I did a good enough job?"

"Yeah," she smiled as tears formed in her eyes, shocked and humbled that her brother was including her in this. "I do." Then she moved towards him and wrapped him in a tight embrace. "I'm so happy for you, big brother." She was still not exactly sure how she felt about Erin, but in the 72 hours since she'd been back in Chicago, she could already tell her brother had never been happier. She would just have to try her best to come around.

They walked into the store together, and at the sight of them, Steve immediately went into the back to get the ring. "Here it is," he said.

"Wow," Jay sighed. It was almost as stunning as his bride.

"Wow," El agreed. The thin band was simple and elegant, and the round center diamond sparkled beautifully as it caught the sunlight cascading through the windows.

Steve placed the one and a half carat diamond into the black velvet box, and began to wrap it up into a larger box and a bag for Jay. Jay raised his hand to stop him, "Just the small box is fine," he said.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked, wanting Jay to have a place to put it for safe keeping.

"I'm sure," he took the velvet box and placed it snugly in his pants pocket. He didn't want it too far away. He paid the next installment, glad to be getting the ring at such a discounted price, and then waved goodbye to Steve.

As he and El walked towards the exit of the store, she turned to him and asked, "Are you going to do it today?"

He let out a throaty laugh. His sister, always the impatient one. "No," he chuckled.

"Then why is it in your pocket instead of a bag?" She asked, confused. Surely someone would notice the square shape bulge in his front pocket. His jeans weren't exactly tight, but he worked with detectives.

"I need to bring it with me to work," he explained. "I need to run it past Hank first." He tried to keep his voice casual, even using his boss's first name and the casual terminology of run it past. He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. He knew it was definitely not going to be that easy.

She saw right through him. "Hank," she paused, "Like your boss, Hank Voight?"

"The one and only," he sighed, nervously.

"Umm..." she looked at her brother thoughtfully. She definitely wanted more information on that subject, but she was smart enough to recognize that now was not the time. "Good luck with that?"

"Thanks," he replied, as they moved briskly towards the cars.

I'm gonna need it.

xoxo

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