Tides of life

Spring

Libby and Steve were in-between the northern state and Steve's family's property when I found out that Libby and Steve let Harold stand on a street corner saying, "Homeless need food please help" to get money. When I spoke to them about this their response was "Well Mildred was across the street on the other corner." I explained how bad that could be and why they shouldn't do that. I also stated that with the state being in their lives they could lose BOTH their children doing that. It was also at that time Libby informed me that Steve, Sophie, Harold and herself would be moving in with Mildred and Forest. When I asked why Libby informed me that Jason (Steve's stepfather) had been making unwanted sexual advances at her and she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with it. She also stated that she was sure something had happened to Sophie. I urged her to have a doctor check Sophie, a few weeks later when she contacted me again I asked for the results. She stated that according to the doctor Sophie did, in fact, show signs of sexual abuse. Libby would not go into details with me and I asked her about any charges being pressed but she said there was nothing that could be done due to Sophie's age and inability to verbalize who touched her. When I pressed the issue, we were again cut off for a while. I believe the move was made to force CSD to drop the investigation and prevent them from taking the kids.

Mid to end of summer

Libby and Steve were living in a VA shelter with Harold and Sophie. They had requested that I help them and CAN (Community Actions Network) find them a place back in Columbia County since Libby had been approved for a housing Voucher. I was able to find several houses, apartments, and duplexes; however, a recurring issue was the fact that CAN would only pay for Libby to have a background check and no one seemed to know what was in/on Steve's record. Libby and Steve had come up with $45 dollars to cover his background check, but they weren't sure if he was clean enough to get any place. Well, they ended up changing their mind on one house they had been looking at and gave the $45 to me since I have the bank account. As a one-time courtesy, CAN said they would pay for Steve's background check IF Libby and Steve could assure them that he had no criminal background. I offered to print up a full background check for him, the only issue was the service was $45. Libby and Steve approved me to use the $45 I was holding for them on that, I did and printed it up, and turned it over to CAN. Even providing a copy to Libby. (This will come back to play and does directly affect Harold in December.)

Later on, it was the day before school started we were informed that Harold didn't have any school supplies or clothes, Libby had told us she was broke, so we went down and got the bare necessities as it was between paydays. Libby showed up in time to help with half of the shopping and ended up having $40 which did cover the cost of the supplies. They had been discounted. A "woman from church" was supposedly getting Harold clothes so we were told we didn't need to worry about it. Harold also asked for a phone and I told him if he got good grades then I would look into one for Christmas. He kept his end of the deal and I planned to get it for him.

End of November 2014

There was a gun scare at Harold's school that the school and no one notified us of until the news reported on it 3 days after it happened. I asked Libby and she said she didn't tell us because it "wasn't a big deal" since we'd been told they would spending Christmas with Steve's family just as they had for Thanksgiving. I took Harold to get a straight talk smartphone that he picked out. We also got him a time card, and a memory card for it. As it was technically Christmas shopping I got Libby a bath kit and had planned to find out what I could get for Steve and Sophie so it too could be delivered the next time we visited. I'd also put several books on the phone for Harold to read, when we dropped him off Steve was pissed off, and when Harold started to tell him about the books he began to yell at Harold in the middle of the street at 9:30 pm. He stated that he didn't want to talk about money because someone still owed him money. Then stormed into the house, he threw or kicked something which went crashing, and then slammed the door very forcefully. I asked Libby if he thought I owed him money, and she informed me that they both believed I did. Both she and Steve believed I owed them the $45, when I asked what she meant she stated it was the money for the background check. I explained that I used that money for Steve's background check, and she said that because they didn't get any of the houses they had applied for it was my fault. It was also my fault they weren't able to get to other places because I didn't give them back the $45. I explained how background checks were non-refundable however that only served to piss Libby off as she accused me of being the reason they were homeless to begin with and still were. Then she demanded that Harold return his Christmas present to me and stormed off, I refused and insisted he keep it and waited for her to walk back so I could speak to her again. I told her that was bullshit to tell Harold to return his Christmas gift, and that I did everything in my power to help them but if she needed a person to hate feel free to hate me. I'm strong enough to take it, if that's what they need so they can stay strong it was fine, but don't lie about it.

At this point she was crying and apologizing, she had thrown up as well. Once I got her calmed back down I asked her what the real issue was and she told me they had no food in the house due to their roommates. So, I had Mom drive her, Harold, and I to Safeway. I did not feel comfortable leaving Harold alone with Steve due to his violent outburst in the street. We left Harold in the car and I got a bottle of water to get $60 cashback. Once back out to the car in front of Harold and Mom and I gave her $45. I even filmed it so that it would never be brought up again. She said Harold could keep his Christmas present but told me that the bath spa I got for her was the wrong kind and would cause her to break out. I said I was sorry and that we'd look into getting something else for her, Steve, and Sophie. The next day Harold told me they went to pizza hut for dinner after we had left using the $45, rather than buying food at Safeway which could have potentially lasted longer.

Spring 2015

Libby kept in contact with us about twice a month after that, Harold wanted to go out for Baseball but it was $150, Libby had told him no because of the price and told him to ask us. We spoke him about how he asked before we paid for it, which we did directly to the club/team. We were not informed of games or practice times and in the end only got to see to see one or two games because Harold needed a ride home from it.

After the season they had moved into an apartment up the road. Since Harold was still going to go to the same school he was when they lived with Steve's family he would now have to get up aprox 5:30am and walk from the apartments to the public bus lot on the north end of town to catch it up to his other bus stop. Libby and Steve both stated that Harold was allowed to make this trip on his own. When I expressed concerns over the 1.3-mile distance and the fact that walk is almost exclusively along te main highway known for human trafficking, Libby jokingly stated that if someone took him they would bring him back in 5 min. Steve stated that if someone took him they could keep him. He did not seem to be joking until Libby glared at him and he laughed.

Summer 2015-2016

They enrolled Harold into the local Middle School and had another baby. For a month my cousin Tina lived with them as a live-in nanny/housekeeper. After a month, she left, I found out later it was because of the amount of people living in the apartment.

Not only did Steve have Mildred and Forest living in the 3 bedrooms but also one of the neighbors' wife had moved in (Brandy) with her boyfriend at the time (Cody), but so too had Brandy's FTF Carl. After Tina left was when Harold really started having a lot of trouble. Or rather Libby shared the information with me more. His grades were all over the place, he became disrespectful, and he began to punch holes in the walls. He got into more fights with Steve than before, and since I was now closer I was called in a lot more. I still asked when parent-teacher conferences were, and if there were any sports Harold wanted into but Libby only said she didn't know, she'd find out and get back to me. I felt a bit like we were playing ping pong with Harold as the ball.

When Harold started having issues in school I suggested several times that he try the school in my town, so he get a fresh start, etc. Libby always said no, because "Harold didn't want that." When I would talk to him privately more often than not he would say he didn't know what he wanted to do. Libby and Steve began to more openly medicate him with weed, as Steve claimed to have a medical card for it due to supposed epilepsy. (However, weed is legal in the state for several years.) They seemed to give him weed only as a route they would take when they didn't want to send him to me. When they would call me, it was because they were out of ideas and more or less using me as a threat to Harold. They seemed to think I was a good punishment, Harold would act up and fight against coming over as well but the second we were out of eyesight of the apartments his attitude almost instantly did a 180. It was almost like he was putting on a show for them.

Sometimes when I was only there to help set up a game plan for his behavior and such, Brandy would often comment about what right did I have, and put her two cents into the conversation as if she had a right to. There were also a few times I would see Steve get a little too rough while "playing", it was quite clear that he has no concept of the line between horseplaying and assault.

Example: Harold was trying to stomp the edge of Steve's shoe (or shoelace not sure) and Steve's response was to kick him in the shin, when it hurt Harold he responded by kicking him back, so Steve kicked again. After round four when Libby didn't put a stop to it, I did by telling Harold to go do something else. I did it that way so that Libby would not retaliate by cutting contact with us again. Steve tried to justify what he'd done, and I simply said "I know all about pre-teen boys, I have enough brothers." Neither of them realized my passive-aggressive remark about calling Steve a child.

On September 3rd Harold's great-grandpa passed, he was semi-close to him, and sadly due to the estate being started only 10 hours after he passed there was only one day that I was able to see Harold in the following three months.

December

Once the estate was taken care of I was called back in on Libby's side due to how out of control things had become. I was asked to come to kick out Brandy and Cody, since the landlord had gotten involved as well and was threatening to kick Libby and Steve out. I did then I had a Challenger Pizza delivered to them from local pizza shop that same night.

I did so, and took Harold for Christmas Brake, we got him an upgraded cell phone, and returned him around Christmas Eve. Libby and Steve had gotten him a TV and xBox but on the condition, that he had to pay for it AND he only got to keep it IF he continued living with them. Just after midnight on New Year's Eve Harold called us to come get him. From what I understand from Libby, Steve and Harold, "everyone" had been drinking and smoking weed. Brandy had returned and stated to me "we didn't let him do anything else." To me that implied that there were other things for him to do. As near as I could get from them, everyone was watching the ball drop and counting down then at 2 or 3 seconds Steve "accidentally" pressed the power button while reaching for the volume up button. On that remote they are about an inch apart, Steve blamed the mistake on having "large fingers" but Harold says it was done maliciously. So, I went to get Harold and he stayed with us for the next week ending out Christmas break.

After we picked him up we got home around 2, he was just tired and slept for 8 or 9 hours, then we went about our day but we could see he was pale, and having some other issues. It was about 12-16 hours later that he began going through withdrawals. He was shaking, he was having trouble sitting still, he was white as a sheet and clammy. He was complaining about being hot and kept rubbing his arms and chest. We recognized the symptoms due to my parent's work as security guards and my parents having lived through the 70s. So, we contacted the doctor and did what we could for Harold just to keep him warm, hydrated, and so forth, he wasn't panicking and he was able to keep fluid and food down. So, we were told to keep him home and he'd be ok in a few hours. If he got worse take him in, the doctor also said that he'd be calling CSD.

He was completely terrified though and stated several times he felt strange. We explained to him what was going on and he understood, he would ask us if various things he was feeling were because of the weed or alcohol. The answer was almost exclusively yes for several hours. I asked Libby exactly what he had gotten into but she stated that he had 1 or 2 shots of vodka, about 4-6 beers, and "some" weed. That was all she told me of. I asked her what his normal intake of these were and she stated that he normally only had a beer a day on the weekends and would share a bowl of weed when he needed to calm down. I stated that was a bad idea and explained that not only was his body still growing but by them using weed to control his mood they weren't allowing him to learn how to control his emotions and body for himself. She said she would address is when school resumed in a few days.

Spring

I found out that when I kicked Brandy and Cody it was only for one day, so the situation had begun to escalate again, resulting in Harold (for lack of a better term) running away. He left after school was over for the day and went down to the river with his friends, no one knew where he was. It was me that convinced Libby to call the police even though she was terrified that the state would automatically take him. I'm also the one that suggests they check down by the docks as he and I went down there a lot just to get away from the drama, it seemed to help him to watch the river flow on and on as if it's taking all your problems with it. That is where Mildred and Forest found him. Libby had him stay with us for two weeks, on the first day he went back to the apartment after school there was a bit of an issue there. He seemed to think that because he went to school without an argument for one day meant that he shouldn't have to leave again. I explained to him that at 14 he does get a say in his life but only to a degree. So if the adults feel that he's making a mistake or needs to do something a certain way that's what he needs to do. I also explained to him how his body language was disrespectful. At this point, Libby and I had, away from Harold begun speaking about a youth boot camp that's a short distance from my family's homestead. Since Harold was not talking to me at that time, and not telling me his side of the story. I did explain to him several times that I needed to know how he felt about things but at that time he acted as if he didn't care and was more or less clueless about anything I was saying or asking about. My understanding later was he was also worried about his xBox, he wanted to make sure they wouldn't sell it during his "punishment" at my place. During the argument for about his punishment, he asked why I wasn't "minding my own business" and kept "sticking my nose in his life". Both of these things I'd heard Steve say to or about me while they lived with his family, also Brandy had said these things as well. I explained to Harold firstly that he IS my business and secondly, I was only coming to step in when Libby would call me in. Which she said she would do only when she was at her "wit's end". We finally got everything squared away and he stayed with us, but after two weeks he went back to live with them and finish out the school year in their care.

While with us he stated that he didn't know why they kept calling me because according to him Libby and Steve never attempted any disciplinary action on their own accord. I do know he was grounded a few times from his phone mostly but that was more or less it. The rest of the school year was not without incident but they didn't call me back in. Brandy and Libby were also saying that Harold was saying he never wanted to see us again, he hated us, didn't want anything to do with us, and so forth.

It was a few days after the running away incident that Forest got arrested for failure to register as a sex offender. It was then that I found out he was one, I expressed concerns about a sex offender being left alone to babysit the girls, which, due to their age made them easy victims but I was informed that Forest doesn't have to register in the neighboring state so it's ok. I've yet to work out the logic of that one.

Side note: Cody was also arrested a few states over for raping a 17-year-old girl, I spoke with the detective about Brandy and Cody's relationship. (From what I heard Brandy and Cody were friends, they got stoned together then Cody had sex with her when she was asleep, and rather than deal with the rape she decided to say it was consensual and they were a couple.) The officer stated that he could not discuss details about the victim but that Cody did confess to having relations with the girl. He also stated that Cody didn't see anything wrong with his behavior. Though he could confirm that what I told him of Brandy's ordeal seemed to be how Cody got all his "new girlfriends". To my knowledge Cody has been released from jail, I do not know the results of the case.

Summer

Libby and Steve were kicked out the apartments due to having too many people in their apartment in addition to failure to pay rent. While I tried to help then and offered a place for Libby and the children to stay, I was told no because I refused to let Steve stay as well. I even attempted to get Harold to help me clean out one of my camp trailers for their use but Harold refused, saying he wanted to stay at the apartments. I explained that as of the end of the month, he couldn't live at the apartments anymore. He didn't seem to understand that at that moment. Libby has refused our offer of staying with us and chose instead to return to the Reed property where Lance, his wife, Steve's mom, and her husband Jason still live. This is another gap of logic, as I am unable to process why they would move back to a place where Libby was sexually harassed and Sophie was assaulted. This led me to believe that perhaps Libby had only said those things to get attention. I spoke with my parents about this and discovered that Libby had told my dad that Jason DID rape her, and told my mom that he "tried" but got off her when she said no.