Chapter Four

Bella

"No!"

I'm shocked by the sound of my own voice.

"Please stop the car..."

"Why?" He asks, and I ignore him.

"Please let me go." When he ignores me, I bang on the barrier between the back seat and the driver's seat.

"Derek, please stop the car and let me out!"

An expression that looked like hurt crossed his face, but it quickly disappeared as soon as it came.

"He can't hear you. "It's a soundproof barrier," he says, and I turn to look at him with venom in my eyes.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" "Forcing me to be here against my own will...

"I'm just driving you home." His voice sounds calm and calculated, which infuriates me the more.

"How dare you tell me that?"

Before I know it, I'm fisting my hands on the chair and gasping for breath. Large hands enclose my body, and I hear soft whispers in my ear.

"Take a deep breath, Bella," he says in my ear. "Follow my counting." One, two...three, four...five, six..."

He presses a button, and the soundproof barrier slides down.

"Stop the fucking car," he yells, and the car comes to a complete stop. Logan opens the door and helps me to the side of the road. I place my hands on my knees as I try to take deep breaths of fresh air. He keeps rubbing my back in circular motions, and I finally begin to catch my breath.

"Fuck," he mutters to himself before sitting on the floor and taking me into his arms.

"What happened to you?" He whispers while rubbing his hands down my arm. He's leaning against the car, and I'm sitting between his legs and resting against his chest.

"I just... I'm just..."

"Shh... you don't have to say anything."

We sat there for what seemed like twenty minutes before I told him I was okay to leave. We got into the car, and the rest of the drive was accompanied by silence.

The car pulled up in front of my house, and Logan looked at me.

"Do you need help getting upstairs?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"Elaborate," I say, and he raises a confused eyebrow at me.

"You said you wanted me to carry your child. Elaborate."

He takes a deep breath.

"I need an heir, someone to take over my company after I'm gone," he says, and I ignore the feeling in my chest when he mentions death.

"My mother has also been on my tail for years. "She wants a grandchild and says she's not getting any younger," he sighs once more.

I study him the same way he studies me, and I notice that he looks tired. The bags under his eyes are barely noticeable, but they are there. Behind all that calm and cold exterior, he's a man burdened with so much responsibility.

just like me.

"So how do I come into play?" I ask, and he frowns at me.

"Are you sure you want to talk about this?" He asks me in a concerned voice, and I roll my eyes. "You just had a panic attack a few minutes ago when I brought it up."

"I'm fine," I say. "My body tends to overreact to things sometimes. "I don't want your pity," I mutter.

He regards me for a beat, then continues.

"A friend of mine suggested surrogacy..."

"And you want me to be the surrogate mother?"

"Yes," he replies instantly while looking into my eyes.

"Why?" I ask.

He sighs. He seemed to be doing that a lot.

"You're the only one I want."

I inhale sharply at his confession and try to ignore the way it makes me feel.

"Why?"

"I can't explain it, okay?" I've also been asking myself the same question. Why you? But I don't have an answer to that. "I just know that I wouldn't want any other woman to carry my child."

"You sound so certain that I'll say yes," I accuse, and he closes his eyes, then opens them again.

"There's something in it for you too," he says, and I scoff.

Of course, this is just another business deal for him. Pay a girl, get her to carry your child, take the child after she gives birth, and leave. He thought it was that simple.

"No amount of money can make me subject myself to such torture again." It slips out of my mouth before I can even think.

"Again?" He asks, and I ignore him.

"How much are you willing to pay?"

"Bella!" He gets out, and I resist a flinch.

"Forget I said anything. You know what? "Just forget it because I'm not going to be carrying your fucking baby," I say and push the door open.

"Half a million dollars," he says as I step out of the car.

I remember the pain, the tears, the confusion...

"You can shove your money right up your ass," I spit, closing the door.

***

Blood. So much blood. A beeping monitor, overlapping voices of nurses, and Cain and his brother's friend standing at the side

"It's a boy..." The nurse says this and places the baby in my arms. Cain snatches the baby from my arms, and I let out a scream.

"The baby is mine," he says as I plead. Soon, his face morphs into Logan's face. He's wearing a suit and standing with a strange woman.

"This baby is mine!"

I scream and try to go after him, but chains have been placed around me, tying me to the bed.

"Bella..."

I scream and throw up on my bed...

"Bella!"

I shoot up with a gasp. My body was drenched in a cold sweat. I look over to find Cassie looking at me with pity in her eyes. I feel like throwing up.

"You're having nightmares again?" She says softly, and I burst into tears because I can't take it any longer.

"Hey, it's okay." Shh...it's okay."

I'm reminded of last night when Logan had me in a similar position and bitter tears ran down my face.

Why am I so pathetic? So weak!

"What time is it?" I say with a sniff, and Claire shoots me a look of disapproval.

"You're not going to work today. "I'll call Josh," she says, and I shake my head.

"No, it's fine." I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" I'll call Josh and tell him you're sick. You'll stay here and get some rest. "Don't argue with me," she says firmly, leaving no room for argument. I sigh and nod softly.

I lay back down on my bed, not caring about the dampness of my pillow and bed sheet. I haven't had a nightmare in a long time, and this one was so scary and vivid. So real. I shake my head to get rid of the flashbacks, but all I can see is blood.

I shoot out of bed. I'm not about to spend my whole day thinking about that dream. I know from experience that cleaning helps me stay clear-headed, so I begin to clean. I do the laundry, sweep, and scrub the floors. I even wash the toilet and bathroom. By the time I'm done with everything, it's midafternoon, and I realize that I haven't even had breakfast. I heat the leftover spaghetti from last night and shove it down my throat.

I take a warm shower, taking my time to massage my muscles and wash my hair. I apply a generous amount of lotion to my skin and, carefully, my hair. By the time I'm done, I feel a lot better. I decide that I'm going to take a long walk in the sun. I'm already putting on my sneakers when my phone rings.

From the cracked screen, I spot my mother's display name.

"Hey mom," I greet, settling the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I tie my shoelaces.

"It's me, Jane."

I try to ignore the feeling of fear that quickly envelopes me. Jane never calls unless she urgently needs money for something or if something bad happens to Mum.

"Is Mum okay?" I ask, and Jane begins to sob.

"I got a call from Mark, our new neighbor, while I was at school. "Mum is currently in the hospital."

I try to calm my breathing down. I try to sound collected and responsible like an older sister should.

"What happened?" I asked softly, fearing what her answer would be.

He apparently smelled something burning and thought it was coming from our house. He barged into the house, and the smell was coming from the kitchen. "When he got there, the whole pot she was using to cook was on fire, and she was on the floor," she says in painful sobs.

"She hit her head when she fell." There was blood on the floor, Bella. So much blood. Mark called 911, and she was rushed to the hospital. The doctors say she had a heart attack.

I hold my chest as I try so hard to calm my breathing.

"She might die, Bella," Jane cries, and my chest constricts.

"She won't die," I say firmly. "What hospital?"

I immediately grab a small bag and throw in my essentials. I dash out of the apartment with my phone to my ears, trying to call Claire to tell her what happened. I leave the keys under the doormat and leave the building. I flag down the first taxi I see, and we head for the nearest bus station. Claire doesn't answer her phone, so I leave her a quick text message instead.

I practically sprinted out of the taxi as soon as it stopped and bought myself a bus ticket. Settling inside, I say a silent prayer. The thirty-minute journey seemed longer, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we arrived at our destination. I immediately flag down a taxi as I come down from the bus, and it takes me to St. Mary's Hospital. I enter the building and meet with the receptionist.

"I'm Bella Jameson. "Here for Sandra Jameson... I say it quickly. I'm given the room number and directions to the room.

The moment I open the door, Jane looks over at me before coming to jump into my embrace. We pause for a few moments. She was crying, and I was rubbing circles on her back. When she calmed down a little, I slowly walked over to where my mother lay on the bed.

I take her hands into mine. It's so cold. I take notice of all the wires and bandages connected to her body, and I feel suffocated. Jane hugs me from behind, and I try not to break into another sob.

The doctor comes in after a while—a tall, broad-shouldered man.

"You must be the older sister, Bella," he says, and I extend my hand for a handshake.

"Yes, I am."

"It's unfortunate that we got to meet under such circumstances," he says, and I sigh.

"Your mother suffered a heart attack caused by the clogging of her coronary arteries. She would need to be transferred to a bigger hospital to undergo a non-surgical procedure known as PCI.

I swallow deeply before I ask. "How much is everything going to cost?"

"The PCI procedure alone would cost about twenty-five thousand dollars." "She would also have to be placed on cardiac rehabilitation and various medications," he says with a sigh. "Everything could come up to a hundred thousand dollars," he says, sounding almost sad. I nod and thank him again before he leaves.

"What are we going to do?" Jane asks, teary-eyed, and I sigh.

"That's not your responsibility, Jane." I'll figure something out."

I try to mentally calculate how much I have in my savings. I give up because I know it's not even up to five thousand dollars. Who could I possibly borrow from? I didn't have any rich or well-off friends.

Logan.

I don't have any intention to carry his child, but I could borrow from him. That would mean I'd owe him for the rest of my life because I have no idea where I'm supposed to get such a large sum of money.

Half a million dollars...

I shake my head. I can't. Not again. Not after the last time. I look over to where my mother has fallen asleep. Half a million dollars would mean better medication for her; my sister could go to college and not end up like me; I could even go back to college and finally get a good job...

"I'll be back in a sec," I say to Jane and leave the room. With shaky hands, I pick up my phone and call Josh.

"Hey, Bella. I heard you were sick. How are you?"

"I need Logan's number. "It's urgent," I say shakily.

"Is everything okay?"

"No...yes. "Just send the number, okay?"

Josh agrees to send it, and soon, my phone beeps with a text message. Taking a deep breath, I type the number into my keypad and dial it.

Logan Lockhart is speaking. "How may I help you?" His almost robotic greeting meets my ears.

"I'm in. I'll carry your child."