Beyond Understanding

Summer, the smell of fresh rose petals. The winds of change are blowing.

A young man, one of life's many tragedies. Has a very unpleasant surprise for this poor soul. Life definitely knows how to pick its victims for its own personal reasons. Or is it God Intertwining with his creations and teaching them vital life lessons or destroying them in faith and having them wither away peacefully or painfully.

The year was 2007 and this was my least favorite year. I had woke from a decent sleep, dressed myself for school, a government school so we all had the same uniform to wear. A pale grey pants with a pale grey t-shirt and some black leather shoes. Such a blur and confusing time.

I had gone to school. a normal day just like any other. but today was indeed a tragic day as an oversees hotel manager called my and ruthlessly telling my eldest sister that our father had passed away.

Despite being in school in my science teachers class. I broke down and cried. My father was barely part of our lives as he just worked and travelled a lot because of his work as a architect.

My only guardian my only protector from this cruel life and its hardship has passed on leaving his only biological son to fend for himself. Little did I know this was only the beginning of my struggling life.

I obviously failed my grade and my life skills teacher had to call a principal from a high school so that they could discuss my possible enrolment due to the fact that I had done extremely poorly in my exams. God definitely had worked with her as I got excepted into Academia High School.

My family gave up on me, sending me to live with a old building contractor and his family. Life was having its rounds with me. I couldn't do anything, I was young innocent and deprived of my studies and my life. A few years passed obviously still devastated by the past and the comfort that I never got and yearned for in order to heal my heart and mind.

I became a stubborn and rude young man, constantly thinking that I am being attacked by others and constantly being looked down on due to the fact that my family had somehow reaped some sort of reward as they progressed in life and left me behind to fend for myself.. Life was becoming drastically uneasy and coping with it led to my use of marijuana. Which I found to be soothing. As i constantly was alone with my thoughts, battering me" your not enough" your a mess' kill yourself to ease the burdens you placed upon others.

This was a time I would never forget. Being kicked out of the house to to the fact that I had provide no income and ignored there headings that i should look for a job and stop wasting time on school.

I wanted to fix my life and go to school to university so I can make my late deceased father proud.

Unknowingly everyone was against me, I became a hustler. Selling my services to people whom were to lazy to go out and do there own research. I started buying goods and selling them at a higher price. This was a time where I was making money and a decent amount but due to me and coping with me hardship, I started to drink and become reckless. Until....

I met a beautiful woman who became interested in me. Although I had told her bout my imperfect life and my poverty. She still seemed interested. We became very close. Things happened we became a couple and she was my rock, keeping me down on the ground while my head was up in the clouds. We later got two beautiful twin girls (Ava & Maxine) my little angels. She proposed we move away to a small costal town where she had to finish her masters in marine engineering. What else could I have said. I wanted to be with my daughters and experience them growing up. I still struggled getting a job as there was so few employment options in her small costal town. We kept on going on, she grew fed up with me as my family never supported me and my kids our kids. She soon began giving me the cold shoulder.

Constantly I find messages on her phone from past relationships that I never knew. Everything began to crumble in my palms again.

A few days passed and I confronted her, not knowing that this will be my last day with her and my dear twins. We argued like every other couple, she as the house hold head decided to kick me out in the blistering cold. Our neighbor heard everything and offered me a place to sleep for the night out the cold. What a sweet lady, about to give birth as well and too think we had some effect on her unborn child.

The next morning I had brushed my teeth as asking to take a shower felt a bit to much as she was struggling as well. Despite that the mother of my children decided its best I go back to the capital. That was the last day I saw my twins my (Ava & Maxine) the last day I had my sanity.

Now all that I am is broken and fed up. Waiting for my opportunity in life to give my daughters everything that they need.