The story of my life

"l'histoire de ma vie"

04-30-18

… one

I wake up in the morning to find myself hiding "snooze" on my alarm, trying ti hid away from the reality that is my life.

…two

I drag myself out of bed to go to the bathroom just to look at my self in the mirror and lie to myself saying that "i'm beautiful" when I feel the complete opposite.

… three

Use the bathroom, brush my teeth, wash my face, put on a mask so no one knows how I really feel, but we don't need to talk about that. Then I go get dressed in cloths that I feel obligated to ware because of the thing people will say.

… four

Get in the car were I'm greeted with complete silence, till my "friend" calls me like she always does every morning. Just to rush me to get to school, basically starting my daily brake down to begin.

… five

I arrive at school and walk up to my "friends" trying to start a conversation but the just brush me off making me feel kinda worthless. So, I hide my sadness with aggression and end-up smacking someone on the shoulder

…six

The gate opens, go to class, the bell rings signaling that class has began. I sit at my desk and pretend to care about what my teacher has to say because I know only half the things they teach will me remember by not only me but everyone else.

… seven

Go to reassess and listen to how mad all the girls are at their boyfriends. While I'm over here holding my breath because no guy likes me, but then the wisle blows and I go back in just to hear the voices of people making fun of me and how bad I am a spelling and reading.

…eight

Go to lunch where they feed us prison food. I sit there and watch as people throw food at me like its nothing. My breath begins to slow in the hopes that it make me fell a little better but it never does.

…nine, skip ahead

Stand around at P.E. because I refuse to participate in the activity my teacher has chosen for us. So, I ask to walk laps instead but I am forced to do it anyway till the bell rings and school is out so its time to go to after school program the quadruple chined monster mrs. what's her face

… ten

4:15 time for track prates. That is the only place I truly feel at home.

Running calms me down, it's one of the very few things that understands me.

…eleven, skip ahead

Go home and study silently or get yelled at because I can't read a simple word in a book. Then I take a shower, letting the water run over me like a waterfall. Washing away all the pain that the day brings. Then on goes clothes that no-one will ever see me in because for some reason society thinks that its not ok to be your self anymore.

… twelve

Go on my phone to stay relevant but it just makes me feel more lonely.

…thirteen

I cry my self to sleep knowing that I will have to wake up and do the all over agin tomorrow.