Beside You Ch. 4: Welcome Home

Chapter Four: Welcome Home

I woke up to the familiar alarm, and I sighed.

Benny groaned from across the room "Is it Wednesday already?"

I nodded after I glanced at my phone.

She groaned again before sitting up.

"Why can't it be Friday already?" she asked.

I smiled lightly at her.

It already felt like home here, and I was enjoying it.

The classes are still very new to me, and I still need some getting used to those, but everything else felt better.

"Are you hungry?" Benny asked.

I nodded.

We were up a little earlier today to eat breakfast, and I was thankful. It was delicious.

We sat in the cafeteria, and I ate while Benny spent her eating time texting Gus.

"Love birds," I smiled.

She grinned up at me "Are you still up for this weekend?"

I nodded, "What are we doing?"

"Michael insists on mini-golfing," she said, "So I guess we will be doing that."

I nodded slowly. He insists?

Why did he insist?

"Did he say why?" I asked her.

She shook her head "He said he just really wanted to golf."

I felt myself smile.

Even though it probably wasn't for me, I could still believe for now that it was.

The King can be quite generous, indeed.

I smile wider at Benny. "Mini-golfing sounds fun."

++++++++++

I sat next to Benny in cooking class, and I frowned at the yarn and the colorful sticks.

I know they weren't sticks, but I didn't know what they were called.

"Do you know how to knit?" I asked Benny.

She made a face, "Not really."

We were both screwed.

"Maybe we can ask Michael," Benny stated.

I looked at her funny.

"What?" I asked.

"Michael can knit," she stated.

"Can Gus?" I asked.

She shook her head.

I wasn't sure how to process this new information.

Michael, the King, can knit? Juvenile Michael?

That was honestly the last thing I'd expect him to be able to do.

Benny smiled at me, "His grandmother taught him when he was younger."

"What about his mom?" I asked.

She looked at me, "There are very few things that can't be brought up in a conversation where Michael is involved. His mother is one of them."

"Can I ask why?" I asked her.

"You can ask," she stated, "But it isn't for me to tell you."

I nodded slowly, so I was right then. Something to do with his parents was one of the reasons he was the way that he is now.

"And I can't ask him about it?" I asked.

"Only if you want him to hit you," she said, "I've seen him go off on quite a few people because of it."

"Really?" I asked. That sounded kind of scary.

"It's been a while, though," she said.

He wouldn't really hit me… would he?

What if I told him about how brutally I was picked on? I had to stop the thought, I had already told him.

"Michael won't care," she interrupted my thoughts.

"You don't know what I was thinking," I stated.

"You could tell him that you were raped, and he still wouldn't tell you," she sighed.

That was kind of… wow, alright.

"Do you know about it?"

She nodded, and I saw her face.

He must have had it pretty bad as a kid, but he had Benny and Gus, so that probably made it better.

At least I know part of the reason Benny worries so much about him.

"Was it really that bad?" I asked.

She met my gaze before nodding, "Yes."

I felt a pain in my chest. I want to know what happened.

His mother hurt him? The scars on his back…

I didn't ask anything else about it, and I could see Benny relax.

"Hopefully, he can teach us how to knit," I said, "Because I am hopeless."

I knew I would wonder about them. The memory of the tree popped into my mind.

I smiled sheepishly at her, and she smiled back.

Poor Michael, his mother, must have beat him.

How old was he? When did it finally stop?

The bell rang, and I left Benny to head to Fitness.

I went into a bathroom stall to change into the dark gray sweats and the pink shirt Benny had got me. After I was dressed and my clothes were in a locker, I headed outside.

I was free to sit on my ass for the rest of the week because of the gate incident.

So, I sit in my usual spot, yes, the one near the very same gate.

A shiver ran down my body once I felt a vibration from my leg.

The only one dumb enough to text me right now was Michael.

I still hadn't read that message he sent. I didn't want to know either.

I just sat still as I watched everyone play Tennis or Basketball.

My phone went off again, and again.

I pulled it out to see that it was a phone call.

Part of me wanted to ignore it, the other part didn't.

I pressed the green accept button.

"Hello," I said.

"Ignoring me today?" he asked, amused.

His voice was a little deeper on the phone, and I already hated what his voice was doing to me.

I glanced behind me to see him sitting alone.

"Obviously not," I said, "I did answer the phone."

He chuckled, "Yeah, you did."

I waited a minute, but he didn't say more.

"I actually have a question for you," I said.

He took in a breath, "What is it?"

"I have a project in Home Ec., and Benny told me that you know how to knit, and I just wanted to know if you could help me with it?"

"Knitting?" he asked, "It isn't like a five-minute project, knitting takes hours."

I made a face. Did I sound like I just asked him to do it for me?

"I didn't mean for you to do it for me," I stated, "I just don't know how to knit at all."

I expected a laugh, but I didn't hear one.

"I can teach you," he stated.

"Thank you," I said.

"Hold on," he said quickly.

I turned around to see a few people walk up to him. All of them wore the same black pants and a white button-down shirt and gray tie, except for the girl. She wore a knee-length black skirt.

I hadn't really noticed it before, but they had a uniform.

Voice One: "Who are you talking to?"

Girl: "Is it your girlfriend?"

Voice Two: "Damn, Michael, another one already?"

Michael: "Do you guys mind?" he asked, irritated, "I'm trying to have a conversation."

Girl: "With who?"

Voice Three: "Yeah, I'm interested too."

Michael: "None of your fucking business."

I sat there awkwardly. Was I meant to hear this?

Voice Two: "Damn, is this one that good?"

Voice One: "I Doubt it, Michael has an addiction to the pussy. She'd break before he was satisfied."

I frowned, but I strangely found that interesting.

"M-Michael?" I asked, "I can always talk to you later."

Michael: "Fuck that," he said before sighing, "I'm sorry you have to hear these fucking idiots."

"I don't mind, I just…" I was interrupted.

Girl: "Excuse me?" she asked, offended.

Michael: "Shut up," he snapped "I'm trying to listen."

I hesitated before continuing.

"I just don't know what they are going to say," I stated, "Or if they'll say something you don't want me to hear."

Michael: "That won't be a problem," he said, "I can find a bathroom."

"Why a bathroom?" I practically squeaked.

Voice One: "Kinky."

Voice Three: "That easy, huh?"

Girl: "What a fucking slut."

I felt myself getting nervous.

Michael: "She is not a slut, unlike you, so shut the fuck up."

It was definitely awkward now.

Michael: "You're a dumb fucking cunt Mandy," he hissed at her. "Learn to shut that dumb fucking trap of yours."

It was silent now.

No one came to her rescue, and even she didn't try to defend herself.

"Don't you think that was kind of harsh?" I asked him.

"Not even a little bit."

He really sounded like he didn't care at all.

There was a minute of silence, and I looked back to where he was before, and he was gone, the other four now occupied the spot.

"Since I'm going to the bathroom anyway," he said, "Want to make some noises for me?"

My whole body felt his words.

"Why would I?" I tried not to hiss.

"I can get her to suck my dick while you make the noises. It will feel more like the real thing."

"I don't want to be a part of that," I ground my teeth.

What an asshole.

I had to think for a minute before I said anything.

"Do you really have a sex addiction?"

"And if I do?" he asked, "Will you?"

"Why do you even want me to?" I hissed.

"I can always do it myself, and you can listen."

"Stop messing around," I hissed.

"Who said I was kidding?" he asked.

His voice didn't give him away, I think he is serious.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why?" he hissed. "Is that all you ever ask?"

"I thought I was off-limits," I said in a pleading tone.

"I don't see you in front of me," he stated, "I'm not touching you, so stop whining."

Was he serious?

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Did I strike a nerve?" he hissed.

"Not what I meant," I said, feeling my whole body shake.

"Then please specify," he said.

"Are you seriously going to the bathroom to do that?"

"Do what?" he asked irritated.

"I knew you were messing with me," I glared at the ground.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," he stated, "I could have a shy bladder, maybe a little noise from you would help distract me."

"Liar," I growled.

"It's not like it matters anyway."

"I am tired of you messing with me," I hissed.

There was a short silence.

I barely heard the ding from the other end.

"Michael?" I asked.

"I'm not messing with you," he stated, "Now, are you going to listen or not?"

"I'm not going to make noises!" I whisper yelled.

"I asked if you were going to listen or not."

I sat there. Did I want to hear this?

"You're still messing with me," I said, "Aren't you?"

"Never mind," he hissed, "I'm starting anyway."

My whole body shook. He was starting?

He let out a sigh, and I was quick to cover my mouth to stifle my gasp.

He was really doing it, with me still on the phone?

"Ren?" he asked.

"Y-Yeah?" I stuttered.

He sighed again, "Just checking."

He whispered it, but I've never heard that tone from him before.

I've heard his kind voice. I've heard his annoyed voice, his angry voice, and his bored voice.

Was this his sex voice? His horny voice? Is the ground shaking, or is that me?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked.

I heard a groan.

"I wasn't aware I was doing anything to you," he stated.

I felt all the blood rush to my face.

"Should I be louder?" he moaned.

"N-No!" I gasped.

Another groan came from him.

I had to pull my legs closer together, I felt it.

He was doing something to me. My body was starting to throb.

"Why?" I whimpered.

He growled, "Don't ruin it."

"I'm sorry," I said quickly.

"If you're really sorry, make a noise."

How did I know he wasn't messing with me? Someone might be there, and they could be listening. Then again, I suppose I did walk right into that one.

"Ren," he said, "One sound."

He was breathing harder. His face was closer to the phone mic.

Was he using both hands?

"You're really doing it?" I asked.

"Yes," he hissed, "You are the worst person to do this with."

I let out a small gasp. He promised to help me knit later, but how could I look at him after this?

"Okay," I murmured.

He sighed again.

"Are you using both hands?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Oh Michael," I said wearily. "Keep this to yourself."

"I have no reason not to," he stated.

I nodded to myself.

The sound of whistles stopped me.

"God damn it," he hissed.

"Hurry up, Michael," I said.

"Waiting for the big finish?" he asked.

"Yes," I whispered, "You started it, now finish it."

"I intend to."

I felt it again between my thighs.

"Graham!" the coach shouted.

"Hold on a minute," I said, "Wait for me to change."

"I'll try."

I slipped my phone into my pocket, and I went into the locker room.

I left my sweats on, and I changed my shirt back to the old worn-out band shirt.

The girls in the locker room were giggling.

This one girl was talking to her friend about losing her virginity to an older guy.

She didn't hold out on the details, and I haven't even been standing here that long.

I felt my face go red, I needed to hurry up and get out of here.

The girls' friend just laughed and said she didn't have a boyfriend. She had a vibrator instead.

With that, I was out of there.

I was quick to leave my last class, and I brought my phone back to my ear.

"Michael?" I asked, "Are you still there?"

"Still here," he said.

He wasn't being a smart ass, he wasn't being mean, and I just didn't get it.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"Who are you talking to?" I felt an arm wrap around me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Hey, Benny," I said.

"Who's on the phone?" she asked.

Damn, she was persistent.

I didn't want to lie, so I told her the truth.

"Michael."

"Oh," she said, "Did you ask him?"

I nodded, "He said he would help us with the knitting."

"Hi Michael," she called.

"Don't put her on," he said, sounding frustrated.

"He said hi," I lied.

Even though I didn't want to lie before, I lied just then. I felt guilty already.

She grinned, "I'm going to get some lunch, you coming?"

I nodded, "I'm going to put my stuff in the room first. I'll meet you in the cafeteria."

"I can always come with you," she said.

My body shook, I was panicking.

"Damn it, Benny," Michael said, "I'm going limp here."

"I was going to call my mom," I stated, "I can meet you there."

She shrugged, "Okay."

I smiled at her as she shrugged and walked away.

"Nice save."

"I really do have to call my mother," I sighed.

"Hurry up and make noises then," he said, "I can only squeeze for so long."

"W-What?" I gasped.

"Get to your damn room."

I walked quickly, holding the burning phone as close to my face as I could.

"Almost there," I said.

"Me too."

"Shut up," I hissed, feeling my face heat up.

"I'm serious," he sighed, "Please hurry."

I had a bad thought.

"So, that's what it is!" I gasped once I figured it out.

"Don't make me ask," he said.

"You are nice when you are horny," I stated, "That explains it."

"If only that were the truth," he said.

So, then he wasn't nice?

"This is much different" he stated "I am at your mercy, you promised to make sounds for me. If this were actual sex, I would be in control, going at my own pace."

I unlocked my door and tossed my stuff on the floor by my bed.

"Good, you're home."

I wasn't sure how much more my body could handle. Would I be like the rest of those girls, begging him to give me release?

"Okay," I said, "Are you ready?"

"I've been ready," he stated.

Of course, I already knew that. I was just trying to prepare myself.

I sat on my bed as I tried to shake the nerves off.

"Ren," he sighed.

My blush returned.

The only thing I could think of, to get an actual moan besides doing the same thing he was, was to remove my clothes.

It was hot out today.

"Alright," I said as I used my shoulder to hold the phone against my face.

I pulled the sweats down, and I felt cold air rush against the burning skin.

I let out a small moan.

He moaned right after. He was breathing harder.

I pulled the arm without my phone out of its sleeve. I held the phone with that hand while I pulled my head and my other arm out.

I moaned again. The cold air still wasn't enough.

"Fuck," he whispered.

"What is it?"

Girl: "Michael?" she said, "Everything alright? You've been in there for a while."

He didn't make a sound.

"Michael?" I asked.

I felt a little stupid as I stood there in only my bra and underwear.

He just shushed me.

I made a face. The kind of pissed me off. He wanted me to make noises for him.

Two can play that game.

"Then maybe I shouldn't tell you," I said as seductively as I could.

He didn't say anything.

Girl: "Michael?"

"Hey Michael," I said, "I'm only wearing a bra and panties."

I flinched a little at the use of the word panties, I didn't like to say it. It made me feel strange.

He groaned, "God damn it."

I smirked to myself, "You have to finish."

"I will."

"Come on," I said.

I hadn't realized how much I was looking forward to him, actually finishing.

What would he sound like?

Girl: "Come on, Michael, I can help."

I was silent, I couldn't help. I couldn't touch him. I could barely manage to moan for him.

"Don't let her help," I murmured. "Make her go away."

I heard a small noise from his end.

"Michael," I said, "Please."

I didn't want her to touch him, and I hated myself for feeling jealous.

Michael: "Mandy?"

Mandy: "Yes? You can unlock the door."

Michael: "Get the fuck out," he hissed, "I'm busy in here."

Mandy: "Come on, let me in."

Michael: "Fuck off," he growled.

He was really sending her away.

I sat on my bed, and I had to close my legs as tight as I possibly could manage.

Mandy: "Michael, let me in. I'm already wet."

She actually said it, and it was definitely a porn voice.

Michael: "I don't give a fuck," he growled.

Mandy: "Why are you acting this way? You never want me to touch you, I don't understand."

Michael: "Because I'm not interested," he said, "Clearly."

Mandy: "Fine, but even if you beg, I'll never put your dick in my mouth!" she shouted.

I heard a door slam.

He groaned, "If I knew it was going to be this difficult to masturbate, I would have just gone to class."

"You're ditching?" I gasped.

"Our bells are on the same schedule," he stated, "No more school talk."

"Okay," I mumbled.

"What color are those panties?"

I suddenly stopped hating the word.

"Black," I stated, "My bra is red."

He moaned louder.

"Did you finish?" I asked.

"Not yet."

I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me.

"Are you feeling it?" he asked.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't," I admitted.

"Have you ever done it yourself?" he asked.

I sighed, "Yes."

"Ever put your fingers inside?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Has anyone else used their fingers on you?"

"Why does that matter?" I asked.

"Are you trying to piss me off?" he hissed.

I made a face. Piss him off?

"Me not wanting to answer pisses you off?"

"I'm trying to picture a pure, untouched body," he growled, "I need to know if anyone ever touched you."

I really wanted to mess with him now.

It wasn't fair that he was doing and saying things like that to me.

"I used to have a girlfriend," I lied. "She was very good with her tongue."

"You're lying," he growled.

"She knew I was saving my hymen for a man."

"God damn it, Ren," he growled, "I'm serious. Has anyone ever touched you?!"

"No," it barely came out as a whisper.

"Good," he sighed.

"Are you kidding?" I hissed, "Good that I haven't been touched?"

"I can only imagine how good it would feel to be inside of you."

There it was, my legs were shaking, and everything around me felt hot.

"Stop saying things like that," my voice was shaky.

"Ren," he moaned.

"S-Stop," I shivered.

"I've never been with a virgin before," he admitted.

He was really thinking about having sex with me?

"Hey," I practically snapped, "I didn't give you permission to think about me."

"The second you said yes to making noises, you gave me permission," he said, "I didn't even start thinking about you until you told me what you were wearing."

That didn't make me feel better.

"Is the first time painful?" I asked.

"It can be, yes."

"Was it painful for you?" I asked, "Your first time?"

He went silent.

"Michael?"

He gasped, and a groan followed right after.

"A-Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm relieved," he breathed.

I didn't need any sexual innuendos right now; I just asked him a damn question!

Wait… he finished?!

"You know," he said, "The other day, when I said there were other ways of doing it, I meant it."

"What do you mean?"

The hell? What is he talking about?

"If you really are trying to save yourself, there are other ways to have an orgasm."

My face went red, "What?"

"You're being difficult, Ren."

"I don't even know what to say," I admitted.

"I can be the first man to touch you."

"Stop," I said, "I'm not ready for anything like that."

Besides, he wouldn't be the first man to touch me.

"You can be the first girl I use my tongue on," he said.

"We both know that's a lie," I stated.

"So, what if it is?" he asked, "I can still use my tongue either way."

"Shut up," I pleaded.

"What?" he asked, amused, "You can talk about someone else licking your clit, but I can't talk about me licking your clit?"

"No!" I whined.

"That's hardly fair," he stated.

I missed the horny Michael. He was much nicer, and less mean.

"There is also anal, but that's more painful."

"No," I snapped.

"It's okay. You don't seem like the type."

"It's much easier for you to say things like that. You've already lost your virginity."

There was complete silence.

"I-I'm not ready yet," I said, "And I want to fall in love, I don't want emotionless sex."

"You don't need to be in love to have a mind-shattering orgasm," he said, "It will be worth it."

"Not the first time," I said, "I know that much."

"If done right," he said, "It can be a good ache."

I stared at the pink carpet in my room.

"Was your first time a good ache?" I asked.

"No," he said, "It was the worst experience of my life."

My eyes went wide. Was he serious?

"Why?" I asked before I could stop myself.

My brain to mouth filter was currently down.

"I'm not talking to you about this."

So, his first time was in the 'do not mention list?'

"Okay," I said, "Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Monday," he said, "Why were you crying?"

I really didn't want to talk about that.

"I was tired."

"Don't lie," he said.

"Then I just don't want to answer" I stated "It has to do with my family and my family is on my 'do not mention list.'"

"Benny said something to you," he said irritated.

"Nothing bad," I sighed, regretting what I said, "She told me you could knit then the knitting led to your grandmother. Then I asked about your mom, and she said not to ask you about her."

He didn't say anything.

"That is all she said," I stated, "I swear."

He still didn't say anything.

"She also said that you'd hit me," I said, "Are you mad at me?"

I'd like to think that it was just a warning. Though I was still a little worried.

"You didn't ask about her," he sighed, "So no, and why would I hit you?"

I felt relieved.

"I don't know, but I understand," I said, "Things happening and you needing to keep it a secret, believe me."

I heard him sigh, "Ren?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I have to go," he stated.

"You have to?" I asked, "You can't stay on a little longer?"

"My phone is going to die."

My gaze dropped to my feet after I brought my knees closer to me.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Okay," I said again.

"Bye," he said before the line went dead.

I wanted to throw my phone. To be less stupid, to feel less horrible. I just don't know.

++++++++++

It wasn't too long after I got off the phone with Michael that I was called to the office. The woman at the main desk, I believe her name is Bernadette. She asked for my number so they could just text me school updates instead of calling me over the loudspeaker.

Now, however, I sat angrily in the office as I stared at the thick book of school rules, and the two plastic bags that contained my three new uniforms were laid out next to me.

"You have to request an outside pass a day in advance," the woman told me.

"My mom sent me a package, and I need to pick it up."

"I can write you a pass for tomorrow," she said, "But you have to be back before 9 PM."

I nodded. I was confident I could handle that.

I nodded as I felt better.

"Thank you."

I watched as she wrote something down, and then she handed me a small pink paper.

It said, 'Day Pass.'

I gathered all my things, and I left the office with a grin.