Beside You Ch. 30: Never Easy

Chapter Thirty: Never Easy

I guess I was worried about getting a day pass for no reason.

It seemed like the second I said the word uniform, they just handed me one.

Maybe they didn't really have a choice.

Didn't really matter to me anymore.

I have a perfectly valid day pass for tomorrow.

I pulled my phone out to let Michael know I got it.

Something felt a little off since last night.

He didn't message me at all during PE.

Our conversation was cut off last night too.

I didn't want to make things harder for him.

It seemed like his arm was worse off than he'd admit.

I frowned as I thought about it.

It was all my fault.

I didn't want to think about it.

When I opened up the message feed, I was reminded of what happened last night.

I was embarrassed by my own words.

I needed to push the memory aside.

I wasn't sure I could handle it.

I typed out my message to Michael.

To: Michael – 'Got my day pass.'

I sent a second one right after.

To: Michael – 'Tomorrow I can wander free after class.'

I waited a minute before I put my phone away.

He was probably busy anyway.

I figured I should head to my room.

If anything, I could get some homework done before I had to worry about anything else.

Man, I was tired.

Even my thoughts were lazy.

When I got to the room, I changed into something warm and cozy.

Sweat pants and a thick hoodie.

I sat on my bed and made sure to bring my backpack with me.

I could at least get some reading done.

By the time I got all the things I needed out of my bag, I was already mentally exhausted.

If I didn't have to do it, I would have made every excuse not to.

I picked up the history book before going to the page we left off on.

++++++++++

My eyes hurt.

My brain hurt.

Ow.

I heard the knob jiggle before Benny opened the door.

I half expected her to fall right onto her bed or sit right at her desk.

Neither of those happened.

She stood in front of me, right next to my bed.

She bit her bottom lip awkwardly.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

She hesitated before she finally spoke.

"Have you talked to Michael today?"

I shook my head.

"Gus said he was acting weird this morning," she admitted, "And apparently, he came back late completely out of it."

Oh.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "Out of it?"

"He was wasted," she said, "Obliterated was the word Gus used."

Oh shit.

When I talked to him last night, he was fine.

Well, other than the obvious.

"I haven't heard anything," I said.

"He didn't say anything to you about going out?" she asked.

I shook my head.

I thought he would find his way into a bathroom before returning to his room.

He didn't mention anything about getting fucked up.

"He didn't say anything," I stated.

She was seriously worried.

I watched her pace the room as she mumbled.

This was new.

"Benny?" I asked, "I don't understand. What's going on?"

"He only gets fucked up like that when something is wrong," she stated, "And almost always he's with a random whore."

My stomach dropped.

It hurt to hear that.

"Maybe he just mixed alcohol and painkillers," I said.

She didn't look convinced.

"He's done that plenty of times before," she said.

"Have you talked to him today?" I asked her.

"I tried calling him," she admitted, "But he didn't pick up."

I tried texting him too.

"I texted him earlier," I said, "But he hasn't responded."

"You'll let me know if he does?" she asked.

I nodded.

I'd like to think he will.

We already made plans to get me cheaper versions of my uniform.

"I hope I'm just worrying for nothing," she said.

I hoped so too.

Even though I was reminded of that unpleasant feeling I had earlier.

Maybe it wasn't just a feeling.

Something was off.

I found myself checking my phone a lot more than usual.

Even after hours of waiting, I didn't get a response.

Maybe I needed to make sure he was still up for taking me.

If I had to, I would go myself.

I pulled my phone out to text him.

To: Michael – 'Are we still on for tomorrow?'

I stared at the screen until it went off.

I wanted to call him.

I wanted to pry.

Did he really go out and get fucked up with a random girl last night?

It made me feel a little sick.

After what I did…

"Gus says he's asleep in the room," Benny sighed.

At least he was somewhere one of us could watch him.

Still, it didn't make all my worries vanish.

It felt like I just waited for him to wake up and respond to my messages.

I fell asleep without an answer.

++++++++++

When Benny's alarm woke me up, the first thing I did was check my phone.

Still nothing.

This was killing me.

Maybe he just hasn't woken up yet.

I had to lie to myself.

We woke up around the same time.

He might have slept through the night.

It felt like too long.

It felt like he was avoiding me.

"Anything yet?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"What a dick," she sighed.

It made me wonder what might have happened.

He seemed fine the last time we spoke.

What the fuck, Michael?

Even hours after, he still hadn't responded.

++++++++++

I had planned on at least trying to talk to him at PE today, but he wasn't in his usual spot.

Something was definitely wrong.

Was it my fault?

He went out after we talked.

Was it getting to him?

I didn't think sleeping together would turn out like this…

I was worried.

I got back to the room to change my clothes.

Then I think it hit me.

I didn't have anything to buy the clothes with myself.

Was he doing this on purpose?

I wasn't sure what to do.

When I got to the room, I heard Benny talking to Gus.

I had my key in the door when I heard Benny say my name.

"Ren's back," she said.

I opened the door to receive a sad smile.

"What is it?" I asked.

I glanced at the screen to see Gus with a frown on his face.

I felt like I was starting to panic.

"Did something happen?" I asked.

"Nothing like that," Gus said, "It's just Michael being Michael again."

This was normal for him?

"I heard he promised to take you uniform shopping," Gus stated, "Has he said anything to you?"

I shook my head, "Nothing."

"What a dick," Benny said.

At least let me know if you can't.

I think I was more disappointed than mad.

Maybe my feelings hurt a bit too.

"I'd offer to take you," Gus said, "But he took the car."

"What about his phone?" Benny asked.

"I think he said he lost it," Gus said, "But it sounded like he was just going on about something else."

He lost his phone?

"You can still get the stuff you need," Benny stated.

I wanted to.

I didn't want to remind her that my mother had cut me off.

I glanced away.

"Let me see your phone," she said.

I might be getting used to them asking to see my phone.

I unlocked it before handing it to her.

"What are you doing?" Gus asked her.

"Putting Michael's card in her digital wallet," she shrugged.

"You memorized his card number?" Gus asked.

She shrugged, "Sometimes it's fun to fuck with him."

She handed my phone back to me.

"You don't need a pin," she stated, "It's a credit card."

I nodded.

"I'm sorry," she said, "Make sure to get something extra for him ditching you."

It felt wrong to do that.

"Maybe he just forgot," Gus suggested, "He's been a little off today."

"Today too?" Benny asked.

I hope he's okay.

"Either way," Benny said, "He made plans that he flaked on."

"It's okay," I said, "I can go by myself."

"I'm sorry Ren," Benny said.

"I can still go with you," Gus said.

I shook my head, "Stay and talk to Benny."

He looked worried, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," I said, "You might get bored while I try to figure out what I need."

He shrugged, "It's up to you."

"I'm okay," I said, "Thank you."

"If you change your mind," Gus said, "Just call me, and I'll come find you."

I nodded.

"Move your ass, girlie," Benny said, "You're losing daylight."

I nodded quickly before changing into something warmer.

Jeans and a thick sweatshirt.

Just to be safe, I also wore a plain black long-sleeved shirt.

I made sure I had my phone and wallet before heading out.

"Good luck, have fun, and stay safe!" Benny shouted.

As I made my way to the front gate, I couldn't help but wonder about Michael.

++++++++++

I knew that it was going to be cold, but shit.

I shivered even after I was on the tram.

My first stop would be the Good Will I found when I first got here.

It wouldn't hurt to see what they had.

Plus, it wasn't too far from the school.

I was dreading the moment we stopped.

That was when I had to get off.

I could see the Town Square sign, and I knew we were slowing down because of the squeaking brakes.

The doors wooshed open once the tram officially stopped.

I was the only one that got off at this stop.

The walk to the Good Will felt too long.

My lungs felt every cold intake of breath.

Hell, I nearly slipped just stepping off of the curb.

Once I was inside the store, my fingers burned.

It was always strange to get adjusted from cold to hot.

It was a little painful.

My eyes did a quick once over of the room.

Where did I want to look first?

My mind went blank.

Considering how I'm still fucking cold, the jackets should be my first stop.

Maybe I might find a good one.

Maybe I might find a cute one.

If anything, I might find one for right now.

I saw something pink that caught my attention.

It looked like a fake leather jacket.

I picked it up to look at the size but frowned.

I'm not a medium.

I set it back on the rack.

That was always a shitty feeling.

Seeing something I like, then seeing that it doesn't come in my size.

If it did, they never had any.

Maybe I should just go look at their pants.

My eyes skimmed over the colors.

If they weren't pink, it was an easy disqualification.

I felt my phone buzz.

For a second, I was excited that it could be Michael.

I pulled the device from my pocket but froze when I saw the name.

'Dick Head' Incoming call.

Who?

I didn't have anyone in my phone under this name.

I hesitated to answer, but decided on just doing it anyway.

The sooner I answered, the sooner I would know who it was.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Mayren?"

I felt a little nauseous the moment I heard his voice.

"You finally unblocked me," he said.

"Yeah," I said awkwardly, "I unblocked you the other day, but there was this whole thing."

"What kind of thing?"

Did I really need to have this conversation with him?

It was too annoying to dance around the subject.

"My service was off," I stated, "I tried texting you, but it didn't go through."

He laughed.

It sounded like he was trying to hide it.

"Really?" he asked, "That's like the oldest excuse in the book."

I was irritated.

"I'm not lying," I stated.

He sighed, "Alright."

"I can screenshot it and show you," I stated.

"No, it's fine," he said, "I believe you."

The way he said it, said otherwise.

I pulled my phone from my ear just to go into the messages and screenshot the last thing I sent.

Then I sent him the picture.

After a minute, he sighed.

"I said that I believed you," he stated.

"But you didn't," I stated, "Remember, I'm not the one of us that lies."

"You don't want to start that one," he said, "You've told plenty of lies."

I frowned.

"Also," he said, "Is that actually the name you have for me in your phone?"

"It is," I stated.

"Why?" he asked, "I thought we were friends?"

"Friends have quirky nicknames for each other all the time."

"Dick head?" he asked, "That's a quirky nickname for you?"

"If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't the one that did it," I stated.

I could practically see the scowl on his face.

"Who?"

"Who do you think?" I asked.

"Aren't you guys just dating as a joke?" he asked.

"No," I said, "Michael and I are serious."

He laughed, "And you said you don't lie."

"Then you ask him," I said, "He'll tell you the same thing."

"Mayren," he said, "Why him?"

"Why not?"

There was no hesitation in my response.

"I just can't wrap my head around it," he said, "He doesn't date, and you…."

He stopped himself.

"What about me?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to say it," he said, "I don't want to say anything mean."

"That'd be a first," I said.

"Seriously?" he hissed, "I'm trying to be nice."

"I asked you what you were about to say," I stated, "Start there."

"You aren't even in the same league as him," he stated, "Guys like that don't go for girls like you."

"Hmm."

"See?" he asked, "That's why I didn't want to say it."

"You're right," I stated, "He's definitely out of my league."

I walked through the T-shirts.

"I didn't mean it like that," he sighed.

"But you did," I stated, "There's no other way to take that."

I saw a nice white shirt.

I picked it up to check the size.

Large.

The real question is, men's large? Or women's large?

I held the shirt up to get a better look at it.

"It's going to sound shitty when I say it," Steven said, "But you look different than you did before. You look better."

"I know," I said.

To both of those things.

I knew it would be shitty, and I do look better.

I wanted this white shirt.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Why?" I asked, "Because it was shitty? Or because you're saying I didn't look good before?"

I could hear him fumbling for a response.

"I'm sorry that…" he stuttered, "I'm just sorry, for all of it."

Blanket apology.

Good job Steven.

"Why did you call me?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see if you unblocked me."

"I did," I said, "Can I hang up now?"

"What the fuck?" Steven hissed, "Here I am trying to be nice…."

I just hung up the phone.

I didn't need to hear his tantrum.

I was a little busy.

My attention went back to the shirt rack in front of me.

Alright, I have a white shirt now.

Now I need a pink shirt, pink sweat pants, and a pink sweatshirt or hoodie.

The pink shirts here were too small.

That and they were a little too, not up to uniform standards.

Lots of deep V cuts and crop tops.

One shirt even had the nipples cut out of it.

Perhaps in another lifetime.

I didn't even have to look through the pants.

There was nothing pink.

There wasn't much pink here, period.

Damn it.

I was hoping that this would be easy.

I didn't know where to go.

This seriously sucked.

I felt my phone going off again.

It sucked more once I saw who it was.

Dick Head calling.

I sighed before answering it.

I didn't even have the chance to say hello.

"What the fuck?" Steven hissed, "Did you seriously hang up on me?"

"I did," I stated.

I didn't have time for this.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Steven demanded, "What about what we agreed on?"

I felt the frown on my face.

"Didn't we agree that we would start over?" Steven asked, "That you would give me a second chance?"

No.

There was only talk about a second chance.

I never agreed to it.

I suppose I teased him with the possibility of one, but that was it.

"This is you wanting a second chance?" I asked, "By treating me like shit all over again?"

"What about how you're treating me?" Steven demanded, "What happened to you?"

I started to actually like myself more.

"Don't hang up on me like that."

I made my way into the short checkout line.

I don't think I'll find the other items on my list here.

"Mayren!"

"What?"

"Are you even listening to me?"

Was I?

"It's hard to ignore you," I stated.

His voice was grating.

It was a little funny now when I thought about why I ever liked Steven.

It was all lies.

He lied to me from the very beginning.

"I can't talk right now," I said, "I have to go."

"I'm not finished…."

I hung up on him again.

He may not have been done talking, but I was done listening.

Besides, I was next in line.

I went into the digital wallet on my phone to pull up Michael's card.

This felt a little wrong.

What if all of this was just a big misunderstanding?

What if it isn't?

"Next," the cashier called.

I walked up and watched as she typed in the amount.

"That'll be $4.99."

I touched my phone to the card reader, and a ding let me know it worked.

"Thank you," she said, "Have a nice day."

I took the outstretched bag.

"You too."

I made my way to the door, and I felt my phone going off again.

Seriously?

Can he not take a fucking hint?

I looked at the screen to see the name.

Dick Head calling.

I wanted to punch this boy through the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Mayren," Steven hissed, "I swear if you hang up on me again…."

He didn't really just say that, did he?

"You'll what?" I asked.

"Do I even need to finish?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, "You have no problem starting a threat, but you can't finish one?"

"You heard me," he said.

I could almost feel my blood boiling as I stepped outside.

I couldn't even feel the cold anymore.

"Finish your threat," I said.

"Mayren," Steven said, "You should listen more and talk less."

I felt something inside of me snap.

Why was I trying to fool myself into thinking that it wasn't my fault that people treated me this way?

Something was clearly wrong with me to keep egging him on.

I wasn't finished either.

"Listen more to what exactly?" I asked, "To you try to threaten me but fall short?"

I could hear him hitting his mattress.

"Angry boy," I said, "Do you need a nap?"

"Fuck you," he hissed, "You better hope I don't see you anytime soon."

"Or what?" I asked.

I could hear him trying not to say it.

He groaned as he tried to keep his mouth shut.

"Out with it," I said, "You fucking pussy."

"Oooh," he said, "Now you've fucking done it."

"Aww," I said sarcastically.

"Next time I see you," he hissed, "I'll smack that stupid fucking smile off your face."

He wouldn't.

If he tried, Gus would beat the fuck out of him.

"I'm sure you'll have fun trying," I said, "Big man, threatening to hit a girl."

I didn't hear him this time.

"Well," I said, "It wouldn't be the first time you've hit a girl, right?"

He took in a sharp breath.

"I don't know why I even entertained the idea of a second chance with you," he said, "You're a fat fucking cunt, and you've only gotten worse."

"Darn," I said, "So you don't want to fuck me anymore? What a shame."

"I never wanted to fuck you," he hissed, "I just wanted to win that fucking bet."

"Okay?" I stated, "Old news, asshole."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Are you going to make me?" I asked.

"You're so fucking lucky I'm…."

"Broken?" I asked, "Shame, truly."

I hung up again before he had the chance to say anything else.

I realized once the call was over that I didn't feel anything.

It's been a while since I felt numb like this.

I should be afraid that he wanted to hurt me.

I should worry that he actually might.

There was no fear or worry.

I was just tired.

Why couldn't I just be normal?

Why did I have to fight with people?

If I just kept my mouth shut and did what I was told, maybe my mother would actually want me.

Damn it.

I felt my phone go off again, and I wanted to scream.

Why wouldn't he just fuck off and leave me alone?

I saw his name on the screen again.

I just ignored it.

This was stupid.

I had shit I needed to get done today.

I couldn't let this drag me down.

Move! Damn it!

Pull yourself together!

My body started to walk slowly.

Before I knew it, I was walking at an average pace.

I was starting to feel the cold again.

It was both a good and a bad thing.

My feet were cold.

I think I stepped in a puddle when I was trying to pull myself together.

Shit.

I looked down to see how bad it was.

My ankles are wet.

Could my day seriously get any worse?

I straightened my posture so I could head to the bus stop.

I heard loud laughter.

As if on instinct, my head turned to see where it came from.

My attention landed on the small group of guys outside of the smoke shop.

Part of me wondered what was so funny.

I could use a good laugh.

As I started to turn my head, it quickly snapped back to look at the group.

When one of the boys moved, I could see someone I recognized.

Michael.

My body just moved on its own.

I headed right for the smoke shop.

It took him a second to realize I was headed right for him.

It took me a minute to notice the girl at his side.

His eyes went to each of the boys in front of him.

They must have heard me because the two boys turned to look at me.

I stopped a couple of feet away from them.

"Michael," I said.

He only looked at me.

The girl next to him was pretty cozied up to his right side.

It irritated me.

I wasn't allowed to touch him, but she was?

"We had plans today," I stated.

The boys made noises and nudged him.

Great.

"I'm a little busy," Michael stated.

He glanced down at the girl who pretended to pout.

As the words left his mouth, I remember hearing him say it plenty of times before.

When he was trying to avoid going out with a girl.

I glared at him.

"You look plenty busy to me," I said.

He didn't say anything.

"He said he's busy," the girl said.

I glanced away.

Her face irritated me.

She was pretending to be cute in front of the boys.

"For real?" One of the guys asked, "Can't you take a hint?"

I glared at the boy.

His fade was uneven.

"I guess not," I said.

I stood there waiting for him to say something.

He didn't.

What the fuck was his problem?

I was starting to feel less bad about having access to his credit card.

Even though I wasn't going to do something crazy with it.

Lucky him.

They all made disapproving noises as I stood there.

I wanted to laugh.

I just had to ask if my day could get any worse, didn't I?

"Alright," I said, "Have fun with your friends."

I felt it happening again.

Only this time, I welcomed the numbness.

"Ren," I heard Michael call.

I just kept walking.

"Stupid fucking bitch," one of the guys said.

It sounded like lopsided fade.

"Don't call her that."

"What?" the guy asked.

"You don't get to call her that," Michael stated.

"Damn, is the pussy that good?" fade chuckled.

"Is she into older guys?" the other guy asked.

"Shut your mouth," Michael warned.

"The fuck?" the older guy asked.

"Yeah?" fade asked, "The fuck are you gonna do?"

I didn't realize I had stopped to look back at them.

The girl glared at me.

"Do I look that defenseless to you?" Michael asked.

"You look pretty fucked up," the older guy stated.

"You look like you'd get fucked up," fade said.

"This brace doesn't mean shit," Michael stated, "I'd still beat the fuck out of you."

His friends laughed as if it were a joke.

Michael didn't.

"What?" lopsided fade asked, "You seriously think you could?"

"It's not a matter of can or not," Michael stated, "You ever disrespect her in front of me again, I will."

Wait, what?

His friend laughed again.

"I'm sure you will," he said.

"I won't even show you the respect of hitting you with a closed fist," Michael said flatly, "I'll smack the fuck out of you."

"I don't know who you're trying to impress," his friend said, "Just know that I have no problem putting a runt like you in your place. Especially in front of your girl."

The girl tried to move behind Michael, as if to have him shield her from the argument.

I enjoyed watching him push her away from him altogether.

"I have no problem putting you in your place." Michael warned, "Period."

The guy got right in Michael's face.

He was shorter, so Michael had to look down at him.

Was Michael seriously about to get into another fight?

It was sweet of him to defend me, but he really needs to worry about himself.

Before I realized it, my mouth was already moving.

"What's next?" I asked, "Is everybody whipping their dick out?"

All eyes were on me.

I watched as the girl went around them to go into the smoke shop.

She looked pretty peeved.

"Sorry," I said, "Did I mess with bro bonding time?"

The guy with the fade glared at me.

Like an idiot, I pointed to my head.

"You do know your fade is uneven, right?" I asked.

I could see the red in his cheeks.

I'm pretty sure it's not just because of the cold.

"Did you ask for it to look like that?" I asked.

"I have an odd-shaped head," he huffed, "I went to a new barber. He didn't know how to cut it."

"I'm sorry," I said, "I was just curious."

He glanced back at Michael before sighing.

"She one of your weird groupies?" he asked.

"Not a groupie," Michael stated, "I think we're calling ourselves an orgy, right?"

He looked at me as he asked it.

"According to Benny and Gus," I stated.

The other guy laughed, "You know Gus?"

I nodded.

"He's cool," the guy said.

"He is," I said.

"I'm Miles," the older guy said, "How do you know Gus?"

"I'm Ren," I said, "And I'm currently his other girlfriend."

Miles glanced at Michael.

He was trying to figure out if I was serious or not.

"Gus has been with his girl for a long fucking time," Miles stated.

"I know," I said, "I'm with Benny too."

He looked even more confused.

"That's why I said we're an orgy," Michael stated, "That is what she called it, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"She's serious?" the other guy asked.

"She is," Michael stated.

"Fuck," Miles said, "Why are you a part of it?"

His question was directed at Michael.

He shrugged, but I could tell right away that it hurt him.

He winced.

"I can't be left alone," Michael said, "Or else I get into trouble."

"You're an asshole," fade guy said, "She tried to talk to you and everything."

"I'm moody and mysterious," Michael said.

"We can pick up some tampons on the way," I stated.

The guys laughed.

Michael finally cracked a smile but was quick to lose it.

"It was nice to meet you guys," I said, "But I have stuff I need to get."

I stared at Michael, waiting for him to say something.

"Go with her," Miles said, "Dick."

He nudged Michael forward.

"Thank you," I said.

He nodded, "Good luck."

I could tell that Michael didn't actually want to come with me.

I followed him to his car and got in the passenger side.

He got in the car and sat there.

I turned my head to look at him once my seat belt was on.

He just stared forward.

"Not going to say anything?" I asked.

He just stared forward.

His gaze didn't waver.

He didn't even say anything.

I felt my eyes stinging a little.

"You're an asshole," I breathed.

Still, he didn't say anything.

"So now I'm one of them?" I asked, "Sorry if I looked forward to fucking spending time with you today."

I unplugged my seatbelt and pushed open my door.

A hand grabbed my arm.

I turned to glare at him.

"Sorry," he said.

"For what?" I demanded.

"For being an asshole."

He said it quietly.

Almost as if he might startle me if he spoke any louder.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

The look he gave me confused me.

"No," he said, "You did nothing wrong."

He looked hurt.

"Then what the fuck is going on?" I asked.

It was so quiet I actually heard him swallow.

"I don't know," he said.

"What?" I asked, "Then why are you acting so weird?"

He shook his head.

"Michael," I said, "Either talk to me, or let go."

His gaze dropped to where his hand held onto me.

"Close the door," he said, "You have things you need to get."

"Michael," I said.

"Something is wrong," he admitted.

"Obviously," I said, "You're acting like a jackass."

He shook his head, "Something is wrong."

I could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Okay," I said.

"The other night," he said, "Gus said I came back fucked up."

I nodded.

"I didn't," he said, "I don't know what happened."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He just stared at the steering wheel.

"Maybe you drank a little more than you thought," I suggested.

"No," he said, "I would remember if I had a drink."

"Did you blackout?" I asked.

"No," he gasped, "Stop."

It startled me.

He didn't yell, but the way he said it hurt me.

"Okay," I said, "Then try to explain it so that I can understand."

He didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"I think," he hesitated, "I think I had an episode."

"An episode?"

As I asked it, I realized what he meant.

Like his mother.

He really is sick.

"Hold on," I said, "You think you had an episode?"

"Yes."

I could hear the trembling in his voice.

He was terrified.

Is this why he was acting so cold?

"You said you don't remember what happened?"

He nodded.

I didn't know much about Schizophrenia, but I don't think that's how it works.

"What is the last thing you remember?" I asked.

He seemed like he was really thinking about it.

"I remember talking to you," he said.

"Texting?" I asked.

He shook his head, "When I gave you your phone back."

"What?" I asked, "You don't remember what you did after that?"

His face distorted as he thought about it.

"I remember talking to you. I remember leaving campus," he said, "Next thing I know, I'm waking up the next morning."

"Have you told anyone about this?" I asked.

"No," he admitted.

"Maybe we should."

"No," he said flatly.

"Michael," I said, "What if something happened?"

"Clearly it didn't," he stated, "I'm right here."

"But that massive gap of missing time," I said, "I don't think that's how Schizophrenia works."

He glared at me.

"I know it means voices and hallucinations," I stated, "But not hours of missing time."

His brows furrowed.

"Could someone have spiked your drink?" I asked.

He opened his mouth to deny it, but he shut it.

"Maybe it wasn't you," I said, "But if something like that happens again, you need to let someone know."

He nodded.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?" I asked, feeling confused.

"I didn't want to bother you guys with this," he admitted, "I was trying to figure something out myself."

"Don't," I said.

He looked at me again.

"Don't you ever do that again," I said, "If it's something serious like that, you shouldn't be alone."

He faced forward quickly.

"I'm serious," I stated, "I know you must be afraid to be sick like your mom."

"Stop," he said, "Please."

I nodded.

His mother is still a touchy subject.

Still, now I know that most of the scars on his body were because of her.

"Okay," I said, "But next time something like this happens, you need to tell one of us."

He nodded.

"We won't let you suffer alone," I said, "I won't."

"Okay," he said.

"Good," I said, "Now we should probably go."

He nodded again.

"Do you know a good place that sells sweat pants and hoodies?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

He pulled his seat belt on before we headed out.

Song:

Kurt Nilsen – Never Easy