Beside You Ch. 27: Glad You Came

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Glad You Came

I was tired.

More than that, I was irritated.

I didn't expect to get older messages when I finally unblocked Steven.

Turns out he had plenty more to say to me once I left.

Fucking asshole.

I didn't want to say anything to Benny because she would pulverize him.

I still needed to make sure he wouldn't fuck with Michael anymore.

It was already too late to do anything about it tonight anyway.

I would need to sit down and go through his messages and reply later.

It took a while before Benny received another call from Gus.

The two boys made up.

I wasn't sure if Michael would message me after he spoke to Gus again.

He didn't.

I was dying to know if he would change his mind.

I wanted him to change his mind.

Benny sounded relieved as she talked to Gus on the phone.

"Did he come back to campus with you?" she asked.

She must have noticed me watching her because she nodded.

That's good.

I exhaled. I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath.

"Did you want to hang out tomorrow?" she asked.

Her eyes were locked on me, but I knew she wasn't asking me.

"He probably needs a break," Benny smiled slightly.

She looked confused.

Gus must have said something weird.

She moved the phone away from her face.

"You're on speaker," she said.

"Ren?" Gus asked.

"I'm here," I said, "What's up?"

"Did you want to do something tomorrow?"

I think I made a face at his question.

Benny looked at me questioningly.

"Something like what?" I asked.

"The four of us," Gus said, "I was thinking about seeing a movie."

I wouldn't mind going to the movies.

"That would be fun," I said.

Benny grinned at me.

"Really?" Gus sounded surprised, "You sure?"

"Yeah," I said, "Why not?"

"I just wanted to make sure," he said, "I know you and Michael say you made up, but I wasn't sure if it might be too soon for the four of us to do something together."

"Not at all," I said, "I think it would be weirder if we did things to exclude anyone."

"You're right," Gus said.

"The real question is," I said, "What movie are we going to see?"

My eyes landed on Benny.

Her grin widened. It looked painful.

"I love you," she said.

Gus laughed, "As long as it's not a chick flick, right?"

"I don't know," I said, "You liked the last one."

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be," he admitted.

"What movie did you have in mind?" I asked.

"I wanted to talk to you guys first," Gus said, "Before I decided on anything."

That was fair.

"What does Michael have to say about this?" Benny asked.

"Well," Gus said awkwardly, "He's knocked the fuck out. So, not much."

"Does he know what you're planning?" I asked.

"I mentioned hanging out tomorrow," Gus said, "He seemed fine with it."

He seemed fine with it?

That wasn't a very Michael reaction to anything.

Besides, he hasn't really made up with Benny yet.

He has to know that she will forgive him no matter what.

"How is he doing?" Benny asked.

"He's," Gus hesitated, "He's not doing as well as he says."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"His shoulder is in pretty bad shape," Gus said, "He says it doesn't bother him, but he can't do anything without it hurting him."

I felt guilty.

It was my fault he was hurt in the first place.

He seemed fine last night.

Well, I guess I wasn't really paying much attention to his arm.

I'm the worst.

"It doesn't help that it's his left arm," Benny sighed.

His left?

"Why his left?" I asked.

It felt stupid to ask.

"He's left-handed," Gus stated, "I guess that isn't something that you would just know."

"It's not like he writes in front of you," Benny stated.

He's left-handed?

I don't think I ever noticed that.

Was it possible to feel worse?

That fight with Steven definitely didn't help.

"What if he doesn't want to hang out with us tomorrow?" I asked.

"I don't know," Benny said, "Make him go anyway?"

"If only it were that easy," Gus said.

"Just don't give him the option," Benny stated, "Wake his ass up when you're getting ready and make him go with you."

"I'll give it a try," Gus said, "But if he says no, Ren is plan B."

Why was I plan B?

"Just don't ask him," Benny stated, "Problem solved."

Gus sighed.

"Dress that boy if you have to," Benny said, "Do what you have to do."

"I'll make it work," Gus said.

I could tell that he was worried.

He didn't sound even the slightest bit excited anymore.

"What time are we doing this tomorrow?" I asked.

If it was early, I needed to make sure I set an alarm.

"After class," Gus said, "Ditching wouldn't be the best idea."

After class?

Wait, it's Sunday.

Why are we making plans to hang out on a Monday when we can't even leave campus?

"She forgot," Benny said.

"What did I forget?" I asked.

"Conference day," Benny stated, "It's basically a three-day weekend for us."

I don't remember anything about a conference day.

"Not for them?" I asked.

"Nope," Benny said, "Bad kids don't get days off."

"We do too," Gus said.

"Not even going to deny being a bad kid?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked, "I'm here, aren't I?"

Still, I wouldn't consider Gus bad in any way.

He is a good guy.

He is a good person.

"That means we won't even see you guys until after four," Benny stated, "That's barely time to do anything."

"You and Ren should go out," Gus stated, "We can meet you at the mall later."

"I'm sure we can come up with something to do," I said.

Benny nodded, "Sounds like a plan."

"And if anything," Gus said, "We can always see a movie next time."

"Do you not want to watch a movie?" Benny asked.

"I just want us to spend some time together," Gus stated, "After everything, I just want the four of us to be together for a little while."

It made me question the last couple of times it was the four of us.

Not all of it was good.

"That's okay," I said, "I think we always manage to have fun."

"We do," Benny nodded.

"It's just," Gus said, "I already miss you guys."

"Aww," Benny said, "Babe."

"I know," Gus sighed, "I'm a bitch."

"Not at all," I said, "It's sweet."

"Aww," Gus said, "Babe."

I frowned, "Shut up."

They both laughed.

"There's nothing wrong with missing the people you love," Benny stated, "We miss you too."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me.

Gus let out a groan.

"What?" Benny asked.

"It's getting late," he said, "Even though I don't want to go, I should probably let you get some sleep."

"The sooner you sleep, the sooner tomorrow will be here," Benny said.

"Easier said than done," Gus said.

"Rest well, hun," Benny said, "I love you, and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"I can't wait until all of this school shit is over with," Gus said, "I want to wake up with you and go to bed with you every day."

Benny smiled sadly, "Me too. I miss your face."

They were too much sometimes.

It only made me a little jealous.

It made me want to see Michael's perfect, annoying face.

"Goodnight," Gus said, "I love both of you."

"I love you too," Benny said.

"I love you three," I said.

Benny just grinned before disconnecting the call.

She placed her phone on the wireless pad next to her bed.

Her gaze went to me once the device lit up to let her know it's charging.

"Ren?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you really okay with all of us going tomorrow?"

I met her worried gaze.

"I am," I said, "If I wasn't, I'd come up with a reason not to go."

She nodded slowly.

"Besides," I said, "I want to spend time with you guys too."

"Good," she grinned.

I watched her move around until she found a comfortable position.

I decided to do the same.

It felt like a long day, even though I didn't do much.

I think my body was still trying to process what Michael and I had done.

Every once in a while, I'll feel pain, and it will worry me.

Then I have to tell myself how ridiculous I'm acting.

Right now, I just felt warm.

Warm and home.

"Ren?"

I glanced over at Benny.

"I know this is probably going to sound sappy," she said, "But I'm glad you came here."

It wasn't sappy at all.

"So am I."

A comfortable silence passed.

I was falling asleep.

"I know Steven said that there were others in our group before," Benny said, "But you're special."

They made me feel special.

They made me feel wanted.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," she confirmed.

"Good," I said, "Because you guys are special to me."

It was a little while longer before I heard her again.

"Ren?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you," she said.

"Go to sleep, dork," I said.

She laughed.

"One more," she said.

"Okay," I said, "Just one."

I didn't hear her speak right away.

It made me wonder if she had changed her mind.

"I really do love you."

I felt warmth spread through me.

"I love you too," I said.

"Really?" she asked, "Not just because we say it to you?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," I said.

"Okay," she said.

"Goodnight," I said, "Dream of good things."

She giggled, "Dream of naughty things."

I hoped I didn't.

It didn't take much longer for sleep to take me.

++++++++++

I was awake before I opened my eyes.

Something felt off.

It wasn't a loud noise that woke me up today.

It wasn't Benny shaking me awake in a panic.

I woke up on my own today.

My eyes slowly opened.

Light poured into the room from the small window between our beds.

I sat up and frowned.

Benny was just grinning at me.

"Finally!" she roared.

I guess I didn't wake up on my own today.

Other forces were at work this morning.

"We should hit the showers," she said.

"We should?" I asked.

"I have a plan for us today," she nodded.

I always got a strange feeling like something bad was about to happen when she said stuff like that.

Maybe it was just a bit of fear.

You are afraid of the things you don't know.

"What kind of plan?" I asked.

"Well," she said before standing up, "One of the first things I noticed about you is your ears."

I actually laughed at that.

"That's one of the first?"

She looked confused before staring at me longer.

"I guess all of that never really bothered me," she said, "I just thought you were beautiful right off the bat."

It was strange to hear because that's one of the first things I noticed about her.

"It might bother you," she said, "But I actually really like your birthmark."

It was different to have it than to just like the way it looks.

"I know you probably don't want to hear that," she said, "But when I see it, and I see it on you, I can't help but love it."

This was getting mushy.

"I can't not love something that is a part of you," she said.

What was up with her lately?

She's been full of the feels.

It sort of hurts.

"Does it bother you when people talk about it?" she asked.

I had to think about that for a minute.

Most people usually just said it was disgusting.

"Sometimes," I admitted, "But I know when you talk about it, you aren't trying to hurt me."

"Never," she said.

"Thank you," I said.

An awkward silence settled between us.

"I do have a serious question, though."

I glanced up to see Benny staring at me.

The grin wasn't there.

"Okay," I said.

"Is there a reason you never pierced your ears?"

I shook my head.

It wasn't my reason.

"I was thinking about taking you to get them pierced," she said, "If that's alright with you."

That was not the direction I expected this to go.

"Okay," I said.

"I don't want to force you," she said, "You can say no."

I shook my head.

I've always wanted to wear pretty earrings.

It was my mother that never let me get them pierced.

"I'd like to get them pierced," I admitted.

"Alright," she grinned, "Then let's do that."

++++++++++

Maybe this wasn't the best idea.

I stood next to Benny as we looked at the different earrings.

I didn't think we'd be going to a tattoo shop for this.

Off to the side, I could see a guy getting his tongue pierced.

That needle was fucking huge.

"Ren?" Benny asked, "Which ones do you want?"

My eyes went over the different options, and I sort of went blank.

"You have to pick one," Benny stated.

I wasn't sure which ones I wanted.

"Pick a pair you like now," she said, "And we can get you another pair later."

That wasn't exactly the reason I hesitated.

I guess it didn't really matter.

In my mind, I was always told I couldn't do it.

Even when my mother wasn't there, I could hear her say it.

'If you have your ears pierced, you'll want jewelry.'

I didn't want to remember the words that followed.

My brain was good at reminding me of all the painful things I wanted to erase.

'Only pretty girls get jewelry.'

My mother never even bought me a dress, for fucks sake.

"Ren?"

I quickly pointed to the silver circles.

"You sure?" she asked, "Four weeks."

I nodded.

They were flat silver, stainless steel stud earrings.

I liked them.

"What about you?" I asked her, "Are you getting anything?"

"Should I?" she asked.

It felt weird to only be here for me.

"Is there a piercing you want?" I asked.

Her eyes went over the different piercings in the case.

"Belly or tongue?" she asked.

I just watched that guy get his tongue stabbed.

"Belly button," I said.

"Wow," she grinned, "No hesitation."

"I think it would look good on you," I said.

"Yeah?"

I nodded.

"Alright," she grinned, "Looks like both of us are getting stabbed today."

I didn't like the way she just said that.

"But I was thinking," Benny said, "Do you trust me?"

I nodded.

I already let her ink me.

That was trust.

"So if I said I wanted you to get more," Benny said, "You'd let me?"

"Ears?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Yes," I said, "I'm okay with ears."

She grinned.

A woman walked up and looked at me, then at Benny.

She was tattooed and pierced all over.

A wicked grin spread across her face, "Who's first?"

Benny pointed at me.

"Alright," the woman said, "What did you want to get?"

"She's getting her ears pierced," Benny said.

I could feel her eyes on me.

"Alright," she said, "Did you see any earrings you like?"

Benny pointed at the ones I decided on before.

The woman opened the other side of the cabinet to pull them out.

"And," Benny said, "Those."

I was curious about what she wanted to do, but I assumed it was a double piercing.

It felt so obvious.

"Anything else?"

Benny shook her head, "That's it."

"Step into my office."

The woman led us a bit off to the side.

There was a padded seat and one that was obviously meant for spectators.

Next to where the woman stood was a lime green toolbox.

She pulled out a few things.

I could still see the door from here.

"Sit right here," she said.

I sat on the padded seat and glanced nervously at Benny.

"You got this, babe," she said.

"Alright," the woman said, "I'm going to use this to mark where I'm going to put the studs."

She showed us the blue marker.

I nodded.

She opened these packets before rubbing them over my ears.

I could smell the alcohol.

Then I felt her poke my ear with the marker before moving to my other side to do the same to my other ear.

She stepped back to make sure they were even.

"Want to take a look?" the woman asked.

Benny stepped in front of me and looked.

"They look even," she said.

The woman looked at me like she was waiting for me to check.

"I trust you," I said.

"And for the other pair?" the woman asked.

"Right ear," she said, "Upper cartilage."

"Both?" I asked.

"Both," Benny nodded.

"Okay," I said.

The woman looked skeptical.

"Fuck it," she said, "Let's do it.

I felt the cold of the alcohol on my right ear.

Then I felt her mark the top of my ear twice.

"That look good?"

"Yeah," Benny said.

"You ready?" she asked me.

I nodded.

I wanted to pay attention to the woman getting ready to stab me in the ear, but it just made me anxious.

I focused on Benny instead.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, and she answered it.

"Who is it?" I asked.

I didn't even hear it got off.

"Hey," Benny said.

I felt the needle go through my ear, and I nearly flinched.

All I felt was tugging before I heard a snap.

"One down," she said.

She walked around me, making it so I couldn't see Benny anymore.

"You know that tattoo shop, off the square?" Benny asked.

I felt the needle go through the bottom of my right ear.

My ears were starting to feel hot.

I was expecting it to hurt more.

It wasn't painful. Like at all.

"Not that one," Benny sighed, "The one with the blue sign."

"More on the way?" the woman asked.

"If all goes according to plan," Benny said.

"Now I'm going to do the upper two," the woman said.

"Okay," I said.

I wasn't sure if she was already about to or if it was just a warning.

I almost nodded.

"See you in a minute," Benny said.

I watched her move back over to watch just in time as the needle went through.

Upper cartilage hurt a little more.

"We got a little blood," Benny said.

"Next one," the woman said.

It hurt more the second time.

"Ouch, babe," Benny grinned, "It looks good, though."

I couldn't help but grin back at her.

My ears felt like they were on fire.

"That'll be fifty for you," the woman said, "And what were going to get?"

Benny lifted her shirt to point to her belly button.

The boys had perfect timing.

I saw Gus walk in while Benny had her shirt up.

He made a face.

"Do I even want to know?" Gus asked.

"I love you," Benny said.

Gus just sighed as he walked up to her.

Michael was slower to follow.

He didn't look like he was really up for being out.

Gus looked ready to take on the day, and he looked like he would win.

Michael looked like he was already done.

He wore a black hoodie, and only his right arm was in the sleeve.

He must be wearing the sling still.

Good, as long as he wore it, he wasn't using his arm.

The more he left it alone, the faster it would heal.

"Hey," I said.

Gus grinned at me.

"Hey, babe," he said, "What did she talk you into?"

"Ears," I said.

He got right in my face to look at them.

"You know," he said, "I never realized your ears weren't pierced."

Michael sat in the hard plastic chair across from me.

Gus Moved back a little before smiling at me.

"They look good."

"Thanks."

Michael just stared at me.

I wasn't sure what to say to him.

He made me feel a little nervous.

"Michael," Benny said, "Pay for your girl."

Michael glanced over at Benny before leaning back to pull his wallet out of his pocket.

I didn't feel right about this.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"How much?" Michael asked.

"Fifty," the woman said.

Michael just silently pulled the money from his wallet and handed it to her.

It felt wrong.

My gaze went to the floor.

"Thank you."

"Now for you," the woman said to Benny.

I couldn't really hear what was going on with them. I just know that the woman led them somewhere else.

"Do you like them?" he asked.

I think so. I haven't exactly seen them yet.

I got to my feet and looked at the mirror not too far from the chair.

My ears were still hot, but other than that, the pain was gone.

Once I saw them in the mirror, I gasped.

Michael was staring at me as I looked at my ears.

Silver circles were on the bottom, and on my right ear, two black studs sat one above the other at the top.

"I do like them," I said.

I turned to look at him, and he was making a face.

Did he not like them?

"Do you not like them?" I asked.

Should it matter?

They were my ears.

I wanted to take the question back.

"It's not that," he said.

It's not?

"Then why are you making that face?" I asked.

He glanced in the direction the others went.

"I didn't realize your ears weren't pierced either."

"It isn't really something people pay attention to," I stated.

Why did he seem frustrated by that?

"I didn't know that you were left-handed," I stated.

He met my gaze like he didn't want me to talk about it.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm not mad at you," he said, "Shit happens."

"But your arm…."

"Ren," he said, "I know it wasn't on purpose."

"I know it wasn't," I said, "But I just want you to know that I'm sorry."

"And I forgive you," he stated.

What was even happening right now?

His eyes went to the side again.

It looks like he's waiting for them to hurry up and come back.

"Do you not want to be alone with me?"

"It's not that," he said.

If that wasn't it, then why was he acting weird?

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I wasn't sure if I should ask," he said, "How are you feeling?"

I could almost feel the flush in my cheeks.

"I heard it can hurt for a while after," he said, "I didn't know if you wanted me to ask."

"Are you asking because you want to know?" I asked, "Or because you feel like you have to?"

"I'm asking because I want to know," he said, "I just wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me about it."

Do I lie?

Do I tell him it still hurts sometimes?

"Sometimes," I mumbled, "Sometimes it feels a little sore still."

He leaned back in the chair, and his hand went over his mouth.

Like he was using his hand to keep his mouth shut.

"What?"

"I almost said something stupid."

I wanted to know what he was going to say.

"Maybe it isn't."

"It would be," he said.

"Say it anyway," I said.

His eyes locked with mine.

"I was going to offer to rub where it hurts."

I felt those words.

I'd very much enjoy him rubbing away this pain.

"It isn't stupid," I stated.

"Then it was just something that shouldn't be said."

"Maybe," I said.

"If we were somewhere else," he said, "I'd probably ask."

I nodded, "And I would probably let you."

He looked surprised to hear me say that.

"Would you?" he asked.

I nodded slowly.

"Holy shit," Benny said, "That fucking hurt."

She walked out, holding her shirt up.

I could see the redness just above her belly button.

The black metal looked good.

The top and bottom of the piercing had blue jewels in them.

It matched her very well.

"So?" she asked me.

"I mean," I said, "It looks fucking hot."

She grinned.

It did.

She was pulling it off.

Maybe if I had less of a belly, I'd feel more comfortable getting one of my own.

"Since you guys are here," Benny said, "Who else wants a piercing?"

"My ears are already pierced," Gus stated.

"What about your belly button?" Benny asked, "Or your tongue?"

"Actually," Gus said, "I was wondering if I could talk to Ren for a minute."

Benny looked surprised, "Go ahead."

Michael looked a bit irritated.

He must have known what was about to happen.

"So, what did you want to get pierced?" Benny asked.

"I don't get piercings," Michael stated.

"Not even your ears?" I asked.

Michael glanced over at me.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.

"We'll be back in a minute," Gus said.

Was he really using this as an excuse to avoid Benny talking him into getting a piercing?

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

He led me outside but still didn't say anything.

"Gus?" I asked.

We stopped at the car, and he popped the trunk.

"I wanted to show you this."

He pulled a bag from a small compartment in the trunk.

"What is it?" I asked.

There was a small box in the bag.

Oh shit.

"The ring," I gasped.

He looked surprised, "Did Benny say anything?"

I shook my head.

"Michael told me," I said, "He said you got her a ring, and that you might want to show me."

"Really?" he asked.

"It was a while ago," I admitted, "I wasn't sure if you were going to show me at all."

"I was waiting for the chance to," he said, "A lot has been going on."

I nodded, "True."

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay," I said, "Hurry up and show me."

I was dying here.

He grinned before popping the box open.

The second I saw the ring, I knew that Benny would love it.

"It's beautiful," I said, "She's absolutely going to love it."

"Yeah?" he asked, "You sure?"

I nodded hard enough to nearly hurt myself, "Of course."

I don't know much about rings, but it looked stunning.

Black metal band, with tiny black diamonds along the top half of the ring. A decent-sized diamond was the obvious centerpiece of the ring.

There was no doubt in my mind.

"When are you going to ask her?" I asked.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, "I want it to be romantic, and I want us all to be together."

"Just let me know when," I said, "I can help."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Fuck yeah," I said, "I am so excited for you guys."

He grinned, "When I come up with a plan, I'll let you know."

"Good," I said, "I can't wait."

I was really fucking excited for them.

I couldn't even control my no-no words.

He put the ring back where he got it from.

"We might want to go rescue Michael now," Gus said, "I feel a little bad."

"I don't think she had enough time to do much damage," I stated.

"I hope not," he said.

We walked back into the small tattoo shop, and I couldn't see either one of them.

"Did I forget to mention that when the two of them are left alone, they make horrible decisions?"

I glared at him, "You're telling me this now?"

"Fuuuuck," Michael hissed.

"Fuck," Gus said.

I was worried now.

"What do you think she talked him into?" Gus asked.

I could hear Benny laugh,

"It looks good," she said.

"I really hope it isn't a Prince Albert," Gus said.

"What is that?"

"It's a dick piercing."

"Oh…"

"Yeah," Gus said, "I'm sure that one hurts like a bitch."

I'd like to think he wouldn't get one of those.

It sounds painful.

We stood in the main room for a few more minutes before Benny walked out.

She grinned wide at us.

"Got him," she said proudly.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"What did he get?" Gus asked.

I could already hear the exhaustion in his voice.

"Michael," Benny called, "They're back."

"We weren't even gone that long," I stated.

"It was long enough for me to talk him into two piercings," Benny stated.

How weak was Michael against her?

"She has her ways," Gus said.

I didn't even ask out loud.

Michael walked out, and I was looking to see if he was walking funny.

"My dick is safe," he said.

I noticed the black circles in his ears.

"Your ears," I said.

"Show them," Benny said.

"She picked the color," Michael said.

He lifted his shirt, and I felt my stomach dip.

"Belly button?" Gus asked, "Seriously?"

That wasn't even the worse part.

It was pink.

Like, bright pink with tiny pink diamonds around the ends.

So not Michael at all.

The sight of it on him… I felt it.

"What?" Michael asked, "You don't like it?"

"Idiot," Gus sighed.

Damn it.

If I had the body, I would totally get one.

"It looks good," I said.

Benny looked at me before grinning.

I wasn't sure what the look on Michael's face meant.

Gus just looked at me like I was crazy.

I am a little, but that's not the point.

"I've never seen a guy with a belly button piercing," I stated, "It looks good."

"Stop," Gus said, "It was a terrible idea."

Michael's gaze was on me.

I didn't like the way he made me feel sometimes.

If we were alone, I could ask him why.

Why did he get that piercing?

How did Benny talk him into it?

Did he do it to match her?

"Do you want one Ren?" Benny asked.

"No," Michael was quick to snap.

It suddenly got awkward.

Michael frowned, "I'll be right back."

He walked over to the woman who pierced him, and he had his phone out the whole time.

Did they hit it off?

I turned around and went into the main room by the door.

"What were we going to do after?" I asked.

"I figured we could get some food," Gus said.

I nodded, making sure to keep my gaze outside.

I didn't want to watch Michael flirt with anybody.

It was one thing to talk about it or hear about it.

Seeing it was a different story.

I didn't like it.

"We can go now," Michael said.

"What were you doing?" Benny asked, "Were you trying to get her number?"

"I didn't have that much cash on me," he stated, "I used an app to pay her."

I felt silly.

I felt so relieved.

"How does it feel?" Benny asked.

"You're a bitch," Michael stated.

Benny laughed, "So are you."

He just shook his head.

We got in the car. This time Michael sat up front with Gus.

Benny sat next to me in the back seat.

I was behind Gus, and Benny was behind Michael.

"What sounds good?" Gus asked.

"Pizza," Benny said.

"Seriously?" Gus asked.

"Pizza," Benny said again.

"Pizza sounds good," I said.

"Michael?" Gus asked.

"Fuck it," he said, "Pizza works."

Gus started the car and headed towards someplace with pizza.

We were in the car for about ten minutes before Gus pulled into a parking spot.

I didn't recognize the name of the place he parked in front of.

"Is the pizza her good?" I asked.

"It's decent," Gus said.

"Don't fucking lie," Benny hissed, "It's the best pizza I've ever tried."

I glanced at Michael.

"It's not terrible," Michael shrugged.

"You guys suck," Benny sighed.

I followed them into the building.

"Get us a seat," Gus said, "We'll order."

I nodded before turning in the other direction.

Michael walked a little ahead before calling me over to a small booth.

He sat on the left side of the booth, and I sat in front of him on the right side.

"Ren," Michael said.

I met his questioning gaze.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," he said.

Usually, questions that followed statements like that were never good.

"Okay," I said.

"Is there a reason you never pierced your ears before?" he asked.

I wasn't sure what to say.

I didn't want to talk about that right now.

"Most kids get them pierced when they're little," he said, "Especially girls."

I glanced down at the table.

"Ren?"

I met his eyes again, and he looked worried.

"I didn't think it would be a hard question to answer."

"Then why say I don't have to answer if you expected an answer?" I asked.

He looked confused by my reaction.

"Sorry," he said awkwardly.

"It's," I hesitated, "It's not like that."

"You don't have to answer," he said, "I just wasn't sure if it was an easy topic or not."

Fuck it.

"Communication, right?" I asked.

He nodded.

I took in a breath.

"It wasn't up to me," I admitted.

He leaned back in his seat and frowned, "Your mother?"

I nodded.

"Too expensive?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"Is it something you want to talk about?"

I shook my head.

"Will you?" he asked softly.

I nodded.

"Okay," he said, "Whenever you're ready."

Why was he acting so weird today?

He was sweet and understanding.

It's confusing.

"When I asked," I started, "She said that piercings needed jewelry."

He didn't say anything.

His eyes just stayed locked on me.

It felt strange to have his full attention.

It made me squirm a little in my seat.

"Only pretty girls needed jewelry," I said, "She never bought me pretty things."

His brows furrowed.

"You don't really believe that?" he asked, "Do you?"

I had to look away from him.

"Do I have to say it?" he asked.

I wasn't sure what he was going to say.

Was he going to call my mother names?

She would be all of the names he could come up with.

She was still my mother, even if she was horrible to me.

"You're beautiful," he said, "She had no right to make you feel like you aren't."

My hand went up to cover my face.

My eyes stung, and I wasn't sure if I could hold back the tears.

"Is that why you never had a dress?" he asked.

I frowned.

I didn't think he'd remember something like that.

I nodded.

"I," he stopped, "I don't even know what to say."

There wasn't really anything to say.

"We won't tell you things like that," he said, "You're safe with us."

My hand dropped so that I could stare at him.

"How do you know for sure?" I asked.

He looked unsure of how to respond.

"I had to stop Gus from getting anything fucked up on our pizza," Benny said.

I didn't even hear her walk up.

She sat next to me and sighed.

She must have sensed what was going on.

Her gaze went back and forth between Michael and me.

"What did I miss?"

Michael looked away from her. He wasn't going to tell her.

"He said that I was safe with you guys," I stated, "And I asked how can you guys know for sure?"

I felt his eyes on me.

"Do I need to know what the topic was for that to be what I walked up to?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," Michael stated, "She's safe with us either way."

"Alright," Benny said, "And you are safe with us."

I met her gaze, asking the same question with just my eyes.

"Isn't it natural to protect the things and the people that matter to you?" Benny asked, "You matter, so we'll keep you safe."

Gus stood at the end of the table, confused.

"What?" he asked.

He set the pizza down in the middle of the table.

"If you could," Benny asked, "Would you keep Ren safe?"

"Without question," Gus stated.

There was no hesitation.

It made my eyes start to sting again.

"Is everything alright, Ren?" Gus asked.

I nodded, "I just remembered something unpleasant, that's all."

"I'm sorry," Gus said, "I hope it's nothing we did."

I shook my head, "No."

He nodded, "That's good at least."

I wasn't sure what to tell him or Benny.

"Ren," Gus said.

I looked up to meet his eyes.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, about anything," he said, "We're here, no matter what."

I nodded, "The same goes for you guys."

"Can we be normal and just eat our feelings?" Michael asked.

Gus glanced over at him, "Do you even remember the last time you ate?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but then I could see it.

Either he didn't remember, or it was something he couldn't say.

"You have a lot of feelings for someone so skinny," Gus teased.

"Fuck you," Michael laughed, "Mr. Hotdog."

Gus instantly frowned, "It was one time."

Michael couldn't stop laughing.

Gus went from frowning to laughing.

Benny just grinned as she watched them.

I was lost, but it was still a nice moment to be included in.

"Alright there," Gus said, "Shut up and eat then."

We were all ready to eat.

I watched as Gus went for the biggest piece he could find.

I just grabbed whatever one that was closest to me.

Michael had a little trouble pulling his piece from the rest. One hand wasn't enough.

I leaned forward to pull his piece off.

I wasn't sure if I should hand it to him or not.

He made it easier. He grabbed it before I could think too hard about it.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

I just nodded as I sat back down in my spot.

The pizza was good.

I don't know why Gus was talking shit earlier.

He took down two pieces before I even finished half of my first.

It was nice.

The three of them always seemed to help me feel better.

I feel more thankful every day that I came here.

My phone buzzed, and I thought about putting off looking at it.

Something in the back of my mind told me to check it.

Benny was laughing about something Gus said. I didn't quite catch it.

I was trying to get my phone.

I had a missed call.

As I unlocked it, I received a text message.

Mom.

I frowned.

My fingers pressed all the buttons to get to my messages. I wasn't even sure how I did it.

From: Mom – 'I tried calling you. What do you think you have a phone for in the first place?'

Another message popped up.

From: Mom – 'I spoke to several of your teachers today. Call me the second you see this message.'

I felt my legs shaking.

I tried to talk, but it felt like all the liquid had evaporated from my mouth.

"Ren?" Michael asked.

I think he realized something was wrong.

He glanced down at my phone, and he made a face.

"I need to make a call," I said.

Benny stood up so that I could get out of the booth.

What happened?

What did I do?

I've attended every class.

I've done everything I was supposed to do.

I walked towards the bathrooms, and I stared at the contact info on my phone.

The longer I waited to call, the angrier she'd be.

"Ren?"

I looked up to see Michael.

"What is it?" he asked.

"My mom," I gasped.

I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Hey," he said, "Deep breath in, then let it out slowly."

I tried, but it hurt.

I felt his hand on my back, trying to soothe me.

"What did she say?" he asked.

I wasn't sure I could repeat it. All I could do was show him the messages.

He stared at the device like he hated it.

"You should call," he said, "If you can."

I nodded.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

Did I?

"Please," I whimpered.

He nodded.

His hand stroked my back.

"I'll be right here," he said, "I'm not going anywhere."