Beside You Ch. 18.5: Lost Boy

Chapter Eighteen Point Five: Lost Boy

Gus:

I stared at the last message I sent Michael.

What the hell was he doing?

Where the hell did he go?

To: Michael – 'Seriously, don't be a dick.'

Some seriously heavy shit just went down, and he just disappears?

If he went after Steven, I was probably going to get pissed off.

You don't get to take someone else's side and then kick their ass before I get to.

I wanted to smash his face into the concrete after the things he did to Ren.

Even if I didn't know all of the details, she was clearly messed up because of it.

I was not okay with anybody fucking with my family.

Michael and Benny knew I didn't have very many people. Ren might be new to the group, but that doesn't make her any less family for me.

I won't tolerate anybody hurting any of them.

Fuck Benny's cousin.

That little shit is lucky I didn't wring his neck when I got the chance.

My phone went off a couple of times, and I pressed on the top bar.

From: Benny Bae – 'Any word from asshole yet?'

From: Benny Bae – 'He better be sorry.'

I sighed.

She was pissed off at Michael, and I didn't blame her.

I just hoped that this didn't ruin us.

To: Benny Bae – 'Nothing yet.'

To: Benny Bae – 'He still won't respond to my messages.'

To: Benny Bae – 'How is Ren holding up?'

I still felt shitty about the whole thing.

I didn't want her to have to say all that shit if she wasn't ready to talk about it.

It felt weird to have Collin there.

I mean, I was glad that he was there just in case.

It was a little weird. I wasn't sure how I felt about him going out with Ren anymore.

I felt my big brother instincts kicking in.

Someone really fucking great would have to show up and prove that they loved her.

Fucking Michael.

I wanted them to work out. This was a stupid move on his part.

I was so mad at him right now.

He better answer me back, damn it.

My phone buzzed.

From: Benny Bae – 'What an ass.'

I nodded at her message as if she said it to me directly.

Another message popped up.

From: Benny Bae – 'She's alright, thank fucking god.'

I stared at the words.

I wished that none of them had to suffer to get here.

All I wanted was for Michael to realize how good he can be. He deserved so many good things in life.

I just wanted him to want those things for himself.

Ren too. I wanted them to be happy.

At first, I wanted the two of them to be happy together, now I'm not so sure.

Michael fucking blew it.

At this point, I'd probably have a few words if he tried to get with her.

Maybe a smack or two.

My phone went off again, and I saw that it was another one from Benny.

From: Benny Bae – 'How are you holding up?'

I smiled like a dork.

Another message popped up.

From: Benny Bae – 'Thank you.'

I frowned.

For what?

My phone buzzed again.

From: Benny Bae – 'Thank you for being you.'

My heart felt full.

How did I get so lucky?

I typed out my message to respond.

To: Benny Bae – 'I'm still a bit pissed off.'

To: Benny Bae – 'You don't have to thank me for that. I love you.'

I wanted to see her.

I wanted to hear her voice.

I stared at the feed between Benny and me.

How long has it been since I messaged Michael?

I pressed back to check.

Michael's name had a green dot next to it.

Oh shit.

When did he send this?

I pressed on the message, and I felt myself start to freak out.

From: Michael – 'My motel, room 10.'

Anxiety filled me. It was sent twenty minutes ago.

How the fuck did I miss it?

He only sends vague messages like that when something bad happened.

Did I want to worry Benny and Ren?

I stared at the message.

Fuck.

I pressed on Benny's picture and clicked on the call logo.

She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Babe," she said.

She said it like she had been waiting all week just to talk to me.

She said it like I wasn't just messaging her.

I felt guilty for what I was about to do to this moment.

"It's Michael," I said.

"Oh," I could hear the dread in her tone, "What is it?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted, "But his message was vague."

"Vague how?" she whispered.

She was trying to protect Ren too.

"All it said was," I said, "My motel, room ten."

"Damn it," she whimpered.

"What?" I asked.

I didn't like the sound of that.

"That is Steven's room," she said.

I started to shake.

He wouldn't have… Would he?

"What do I do?" I gasped.

"I have a spare key," she said, "Just in case."

I nodded even though she couldn't see.

"Go out front," she said, "I'll toss you the keys, by the rooms."

"Okay," I said, "I'll be right out."

I hung up the phone, and I put my shoes on.

My mind kept running through all of the different scenarios.

What did he do?

Oh god, please tell me he didn't kill him.

I was freaking out.

I was out of the room after checking to make sure I had my keys and my wallet.

It was hard not to sprint through the yard to the front gate.

I walked fast, and once I was out front, I turned towards the neighboring school and kept walking.

Just a little further.

I saw Benny standing not too far from the gate.

She tossed the keys onto the sidewalk and quickly turned back towards the rooms.

I was quick to the keys.

It was better to be safe than sorry.

Once I had them in my hand, I headed for the motel.

I didn't hesitate to run as fast as I could.

I was fast. I made it in about three minutes.

I could see Michael's car.

Where the fuck was room ten?

I scanned the rooms until I saw it.

I've been here so many times. You'd think I knew where it was.

I fumbled with the keys as I tried to get them into the door.

"Michael," I called, "I'm coming in."

I silently prayed that he was okay.

I managed to get the door unlocked.

The door opened, and I instantly knew that something was wrong.

The smell of blood flooded my nose.

My eyes landed on Michael.

He sat on the bed. His knees came up, and his arms wrapped around them.

His hands folded in front of his face.

I couldn't see his face.

He was covered in blood.

I couldn't speak.

My body moved into the room.

His hands tightened, and I could hear him sobbing.

"Michael," I managed to croak out.

"I lost it," he cried, "I couldn't… I couldn't stop."

I moved closer, but he shook his head and hugged his arms around himself tighter.

"Where is Steven?" I asked.

Oh god.

He wasn't answering.

"Michael?"

He looked up at me finally, and his dark blue eyes glowed.

He didn't cry often, but the redness always brought out the blue.

It was insane to see.

It was also hard to watch.

"Fuck," he croaked, "Gus, what the fuck did I do?"

My whole body tensed.

"Where is Steven?" I asked, firmer this time.

"He's fine," he hissed.

All of this blood said otherwise.

"Then whose blood is this?" I asked.

He looked at his hands, and it looked like he realized just then what it was.

"Oh god," I could see the streaks down his face, "Oh god, oh fuck."

I've been around Michael almost my whole life, but I've never seen him like this.

"Michael," I asked in a whisper, "Where is he?"

He wiped at his face, only spreading the blood.

His knuckles were raw.

I was freaking out.

What the fuck happened?

"Hey," I snapped, "Where is he?"

He met my eyes again.

"He's in the bathroom," he said.

He said it like it was nothing.

"Just in the bathroom?" I asked.

His eyes went back to his hands.

"He's taking a bath."

I stood up and rushed to the bathroom.

I tried the knob, but the door was locked.

Part of me thought about breaking the door down.

I pounded on the door.

"Fuck off," I heard Steven growl from the other side of the door.

What the fuck?

"Michael," I said, "What happened?"

Where did all of this blood come from?

I walked back around to stand in front of Michael.

How did he look so small?

He curled himself almost into a ball on the bed.

"Talk to me," I said once I was in front of him again.

He just tried to stop himself from crying. His hands wiped furiously at his eyes, trying to stop the tears.

This was tearing me apart.

"Hey," I said softly, "Michael?"

"It's all my fault," he sobbed, "Gus, fuck, it's all my fault."

"What is?" I asked, "With Steven?"

"Fuck Steven," he growled.

That was a given.

Was he really alright though?

He must be somewhat okay if he's telling me to fuck off.

"Michael," I said, "I won't know what's going on unless you talk to me."

He was hyperventilating.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him, but there was too much blood. I don't know how recent it is.

I gripped his hands, and I crouched in front of him.

He tried to calm himself down, but it was only making it worse.

My thumbs moved circles over his hands.

"Try to breathe," I said soothingly, "I need you to calm down, so you can explain what's going on."

He nodded quickly.

Now that I really looked at his face, I could see the cut above his left eyes.

There must have been a fight, not just a one-sided beating.

He stared back at me for a few minutes while he slowly steadied his breathing.

"Can you talk?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said.

It came out shaky and hoarse.

"What happened?" I asked, "Why is there so much blood?"

He looked around, and he looked surprised.

"Michael," I said.

This was getting hard. I know I needed to be patient with him, but I couldn't handle this.

"Talk to me," I said.

"I just remember Steven saying something to piss me off," he said.

He shook his head as if still trying to process everything.

"Are you saying that you blacked out?" I asked, "Were you drinking?"

He slapped my hands away, "I wasn't drinking."

His reaction startled me.

"Am I that much of a fucking alcoholic that you always assume I'm fucking drunk?" he asked.

He sounded hurt.

"Yesterday and today," he sobbed again, "Why am I so fucked up?"

What the fuck happened?

"I'm going to call Benny," I said, "I don't know what to do here, Michael."

His head shot up, "No, please. Fuck, don't call."

What kind of reaction was that?

"Then work with me here," I pleaded, "I'm so fucking lost."

Michael's hands covered his face as he wiped the tears away again.

"The bet," he said, "It was me."

He barely got it out before the tears flowed again.

I could hear the hurt in his tone, the regret.

"She's going to fucking hate me, Gus," he sobbed, "It was my fault."

The bet?

It hit me.

I could barely breathe.

"The bet someone made with Steven?" I asked.

I asked so quietly I couldn't even hear myself.

Did I actually ask him?

He nodded, pressing his hands harder against his face.

I felt like I couldn't process his words.

Either I couldn't process them, or I wasn't sure what I just heard.

I hoped my mind was just overreacting.

"The bet someone made with Steven," I asked to confirm, "To sleep with Ren?"

He nodded again, and I could hear the sobs getting harder.

"No," I shook my head, "It must have been another time."

He shook his head, and I could hear him gasping for air.

I felt so fucking helpless watching him struggle to calm down.

"No," I said softly, "You wouldn't do that to her."

"How would I know?" he gasped, "I didn't know her."

I hoped more than anything that he was mistaken. He made plenty of stupid bets.

We all did.

This wasn't the same thing.

It couldn't be.

Fuck, I needed it not to be.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

His hands left his face finally, and he locked his gaze with mine.

"It was me," he whispered, "He bet that he could fuck a virgin, and I bet against him."

I felt a little relieved that it was a bet against, but it didn't change the fact that the only virgin they both knew, was Ren.

"She'll never forgive me," he gasped, "What the fuck did I do?"

I didn't know what to say to make him feel better.

This wasn't really something I could give advice on, and it would just go away.

"You should tell her," I said, "That way, she has the choice to forgive you or not."

He shook his head so frantically I thought he was going to hurt himself.

He made a choking sound before he spoke again.

"I lost the bet," he sobbed, "Steven sent me a picture."

I tensed so hard it physically hurt.

Every muscle in my body felt like it was burning.

"What kind of picture?" I asked.

I could see the regret on his face.

I wanted to shake him.

"Michael," I asked, "What kind of picture?"

"You know," he said, "Proof that a girl lost her virginity."

What the hell did that even mean?

He slapped his arm, then dug his nails in harshly.

I had to pull his hands away so that he didn't hurt himself.

"That explains why he was so sure I didn't fuck her," he groaned, "I tried to lie for her, but he knew already."

I had to close my eyes tightly. I had to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

I hoped that didn't mean what I think it did.

"I need you to explain that to me," I said.

He took in a few breaths before it looked like he was finally calm.

"We ran into each other on the bus," he said, "And he knew her."

I nodded.

"Out of all the fucking people in the world," he said, "They had to know each other."

"Michael," I pleaded.

"He asked how we knew each other," he stated, "That's when I explained that we were dating, because of all that bullshit with Bailee."

I nodded again.

"He asked me if I liked his sloppy seconds," he said, "He was mocking us the whole fucking time."

"Wait," I had to shake my head, "You and Ren?"

"I didn't actually," he said, "But I told him that I did."

I felt relieved to hear that.

I was almost certain that he would have told me if he ever did.

"I told him that I was the one that took her virginity," he said, "That asshole just kept asking me why I was lying."

Is that why Michael didn't believe her?

"Wait," I had to stop him, "When did you remember the bet?"

"Earlier," he said, "When Ren said it."

He realized it then, did he?

"Is that why you walked away?" I asked.

He nodded, "I needed to know for sure."

"How do you know for sure he did it?" I asked.

"He sent me a picture of a blood stain on his sheets," he said, "All it said from there is that he won."

"No picture of the girl?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Then why did all this happen?" I asked, gesturing to the room.

"I asked him outright if he did," he said.

"What did he say?"

"He tried to fuck with me," he said.

His face looked pained at the thought.

"What did he say that finally set you off?"

"He just laughed," Michael looked disgusted, "Then I asked him what he did."

His hands went to his eyes again.

His palms pressed hard against his eyes. As if that would stop anything from coming out.

"After," he breathed, "After I asked what he did…."

I crouched there, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

It felt like forever until he spoke again.

"He said," he sobbed, "Before or after she said no."

My body felt numb.

"What?" I growled.

"I lost it," he admitted, "I don't even remember hitting him."

"He said that?" I breathed, "Before or after she said no?"

He nodded.

"He said those words exactly?" I asked.

He nodded again.

Steven was a piece of shit, but he would go that far for a bet?

Hold on, but Ren said otherwise.

"Ren said very adamantly that she is still a virgin," I stated.

He opened his mouth, but I watched his lips tremble as he shut it.

"Tell me," I pleaded.

"What if she didn't want to admit what happened?" he asked, "There were too many people."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"She said he didn't," I said, "So let's believe her."

His eyes met mine again, "But what if…."

I shook my head before he could say it.

"Until she says otherwise," I said, "We believe her."

"And if she says he did?" he asked.

"Then Steven Harris will cease to exist," I stated.

He stared at me, trying to make sure that I was serious.

"I'm not joking," I said.

I know he believed me because he finally looked calm.

"Do you think he'll lie if I ask him again?" I asked.

Michael glanced back to the bathroom door.

"How badly did you hurt him?" I asked.

"He was drinking," he said, "So the amount of blood isn't accurate."

I forget about that stupid rule.

Alcohol thins your blood. Thin blood means you bleed more.

Most facial damage is superficial unless you break something.

Michael was strong enough to break something.

It wouldn't be the first time. I hoped that it would be the last.

I was willing to overlook it this time.

I stood up straight, making sure to stretch my sore limbs. Crouching that long fucking hurt.

Slowly I made my way to the bathroom door again.

This time I knocked.

"What?" Steven snapped from the other side.

"If you don't open this door," I said calmly, "I will break it down."

I could hear the water sloshing on the other side before the door unlocked.

"Wait a second," he said, "I need a towel."

"I'm not the least bit interested in your micro dick," I said, "Cover it with your hands, and get the fuck out here."

I heard some grumbling before the door opened.

When I saw his face, I wanted to pat Michael on the back.

He really did a number on him.

He was lucky he had some booze in him, or else that would have been significantly worse.

"Don't waste your breath lying to me," I said, "Did you have sex with Ren?"

Steven glared at Michael.

"Are you guys for real?" he spat, "All of this over that dumb fucking cow?"

My self-control was usually pretty well maintained.

Not this time.

My hand gripped his neck.

I make sure not to apply any pressure. My only intention right now was to scare him.

The look on his face said that that tactic was working just fine.

"Did you, or didn't you?" I asked.

He shook his head frantically.

"Then why did you claim that you won the bet?" I asked.

He looked like he was struggling to find the right words.

I applied a little pressure, and his panic made him freeze.

"Why lie?" I asked.

"I wanted to look cool," he admitted, "Michael fucks all these girls, and everybody fucking loves him."

"That's not why they love him," I said.

It felt juvenile to even have to explain that to Steven.

"He isn't a piece of shit like you," I growled, "He wouldn't have done that to anyone."

"He made that bet," Steven said, "He knew full well what he was doing."

"Wow," I said, making sure to shove him back when I let him go, "You're that kind of guy?"

He looked confused.

"You really think it's okay to blame someone for making a bet with you?" I asked, "You can't lose like a fucking man?"

"You guys bet each other all the time," Steven shouted, "Why is this any different?"

Michael stood up and turned to stare at him.

"The fact that you don't understand the difference," Michael said, "That's what's wrong."

"Fuck you," Steven growled, "You have enough money. You don't need to worry about a lost bet."

"You think this is about money?" I asked.

Michael came to stand in front of him again.

"Ren is a human being," he said, "You fucking douche."

I watched as Michael punched him again.

I moved forward in case I had to stop him, but he didn't raise his arm again.

"I can't even fucking look at you," Michael said, "Just seeing your face makes me want to bash your fucking skull into a wall."

Steven stood up straight before standing right in front of Michael.

"Then fucking do it," he challenged.

"I'm not like you," Michael said.

"You're such a fucking pussy," Steven hissed, "You act like you love that stupid cunt."

This time I had to stop him.

I wrapped my arms around him so that he couldn't hit Steven again.

My arms held his in place at his sides.

"Oh fuck," Steven said, "You do."

"What's wrong with that?" I demanded, "You don't even know her."

Steven just stood there shaking his head, "I never thought I'd see the day."

"Shut your fucking mouth," Michael growled.

He fought against me.

Was he actually trying to deny having feelings for her?

"You're just like a grade-school boy," Steven laughed, "Do you really think she'll like you back once she knows the real you?"

Michael struggled harder against me.

Fuck, the only reason I was able to keep him back was because of his shoulder.

"Shut up," Michael growled.

"Do you really think she'll want a mamas boy?" Steven asked.

I was too shocked by the words that left his mouth.

Michael broke free and lunged right at him.