Beside You Ch. 16: Trust

Chapter Sixteen: Trust

The last two days genuinely sucked.

I tried talking to Michael, but it seemed like he just didn't even want to talk to me.

He seemed pissed off that Collin even asked me out in the first place.

Why the fuck does he even care? He was the one that said no to me.

I wanted to be more, he didn't.

Well that, and I heard that Benny's cousin finally arrived.

Which also meant that Michael has had to deal with him.

I shook my head quickly. I didn't need to think about that right now.

I had a pass to leave campus today, and that was more than enough to boost my mood.

My mom said that she sent me another package. I hope it isn't anything like the last one.

A small amount of anxiety hit me.

What if it was worse this time?

What if she told me she didn't want to pay for the storage for my stuff?

What if it was something else?

My mind couldn't even imagine the horrible possibilities.

Even before when I expected the worst scenario, she found a way for it to be even more horrible than that.

She was good at hurting me. I don't know why, but I felt like she enjoyed it.

I had to shake my head. I didn't need to think about that again.

Things were different here.

I was okay. I was safe here.

I made my way through the gates, making sure to show the guard my pass.

At least my mother called the school to let them know I'd need to leave campus.

Even if the package has been there the last two days. I had to wait until Wednesday, today, before I could go and get it.

It took a couple of minutes to reach the first bus stop. I didn't have to wait that long. It felt like it pulled up pretty quickly.

I was feeling a little self-conscious as I walked down the center to find a seat.

I was still in my school uniform: pink skirt and white button-down shirt.

It was a little cold. I should have changed my clothes.

My skirt felt too short, but the shorts helped with the breeze.

I just wished that I put on a pair of sweat pants at least.

My gaze remained outside the window as the bus started to move again.

It seemed like more people were out and about today.

Was there something going on?

The bus stopped again, and a group of girls climbed in.

All I heard was laughter, and it made me feel a little lonely.

My attention went back to the world outside.

It took a good ten more minutes before we reached my stop.

I felt the eyes on me as I walked to the door.

The girls were laughing again.

My head hung as I tried not to let it get to me.

People made fun of stuff they didn't understand.

I was used to it already. I just wish that it didn't hurt anymore.

My feet moved despite my mind being somewhere else.

I pulled open the door to the post office before I was able to focus on what exactly it is that I was supposed to be doing.

A short line separated me from my package.

Two older women were next, and a man and his daughter were after them.

The line went fast, and before I knew it, I was walking up to the desk.

I gave the woman my name, and she headed to the back.

I wondered what it was that my mom sent.

Please don't be bad. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't be bad.

The woman walked back out with a small package.

It wasn't little like a ring box. It was small, like the size of a pencil box.

What the hell could it be?

I took the small box and thanked the woman.

My eyes studied the box.

Did I want to open in now?

I found myself shaking my head as I walked back through the main door.

Whatever it was could wait, especially if it was bad news.

I found myself standing in front of the post office, not really sure what to do next.

Do I want to go back to campus?

I didn't want to go back so soon.

I reached for my pocket to pull my phone out, but I realized I didn't have pockets.

Shit. I left my phone in my sweat pants.

I looked around before sighing.

It seems like the option of waiting to go back no longer existed.

If I didn't have my phone, I didn't have my wallet.

Damn it.

If I didn't stick the day pass to my bus pass, then I wouldn't have been able to get on the bus in the first place.

Shit, I felt stupid.

I walked back to the bus stop, and I waited.

Was it getting colder, or was it just me?

I rubbed my knees with my hands, hoping to get them a little warmer.

It only helped a little. The cold came back way too fast.

This time it felt like forever for the bus to get here.

I felt myself shivering.

I was quick on the bus, and I scanned my pass.

Shit.

I didn't realize how crowded this one was.

There weren't many seats on this one to begin with, but now there were more standing bodies than sitting ones.

A frown formed on my face as I made my way to the side of the bus so that I could hold onto the metal railing.

It sucked. It was high. I had to nearly stand on my tippy toes just to hold it.

My eyes remained towards the front.

The sensation of eyes on me made me feel uncomfortable.

I tried to distract myself with the things outside as they passed.

I felt something on my side before I realized that it was hands.

They made their way to my hips before connecting in front of me.

"Ren."

I shivered.

I glanced over my shoulder at Michael.

He stared forward towards the windshield.

"Bennys' shithead cousin is with me," he said, "He's reporting back to Bailee."

I frowned.

He rested his chin on my shoulder.

This felt a little more intimate than anything I was ready for. Even if we did kiss, this felt different.

"What are you doing out?" Michael asked.

I lifted the parcel in my hands.

"From your mother?" he asked, "Again?"

I could hear the irritation in his tone.

"Yep," I said.

"Heading back already?" he asked.

I nodded.

It made me shiver as I felt his hair against my face.

Why did he have to feel and smell so good?

I turned my head just slightly to look at him again.

"I forgot my phone and my wallet at school," I stated, "I wasn't going to head back just yet, but I didn't really have much of a choice."

"Hmm," he said, "Well you do now."

Damn it. Actually, damn it.

"Did you have something in mind?" I asked.

"I mean," he said, "It would be an excuse to ditch him."

He indicated behind him with his head.

I glanced back, but I had no idea who he was even talking about.

"If you want to ditch him, I'm fine with that," I stated.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

I wasn't sure.

"What do you want to do?" I asked back.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

I found myself laughing at that, "I'm always hungry."

If only he knew.

"Alright," he said, "Let's get off at the next stop."

I nodded as he stepped away.

"How do you feel about tacos?" he asked.

Tacos sounded amazing.

I grinned as I nodded.

"Mayren?"

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

I stared at Michael, and he looked back at me with a confused look on his face.

"Mayren?"

I glanced to the side. I knew that voice.

"Steven," it came out as a whisper.

Michael stared back at me questioningly.

"Fuck," Steven said, "It's been a while,"

I had no idea what to say or what to do.

Oh fuck.

"You know Ren?" Michael asked.

"Ren?" Steven asked oddly, "Is that what she goes by now?"

I wanted to disappear. I wanted to vanish off the face of the earth.

Michael looked at me as if he was waiting for me to say something.

I think he could tell that my ability to speak was nonexistent.

"How do you know Mayren?" Steven asked.

"She's my girlfriend," Michael stated.

Steven laughed as if he heard the funniest joke.

Once he realized that he was the only one laughing, he stopped.

"You are joking, right?" he asked Michael seriously, "Tell me you're fucking joking."

Michael glared at Steven.

"And if I'm not?" he asked.

I could see that Michael was getting pissed off at Steven.

Good. Fuck Steven.

Why was he even here?

I felt myself starting to panic.

He was Bennys' cousin?

Steven brought his attention to me now.

"You're going out with Michael?" he asked, "I call bullshit."

I didn't even know what to say to that.

"I mean," he said, "You look good, actually."

I felt disgusted.

His eyes traveled the length of my body.

"Last I heard, your mother sent you to fat camp," Steven laughed, "Now I see that it was true."

My eyes darted to Michael.

I didn't want to tell them that. I was already self-conscious about my size. If only they knew.

I lost a lot of weight. I didn't want to be that big sad girl anymore.

I wanted to come here a new version of myself.

That's why I made sure to introduce myself as Ren.

Ren is me, but stronger. Ren is the new and improved Mayren.

I didn't want them to hear that name. Not ever.

"Is there a point to you being an asshole?" Michael asked.

"Is there a reason you're defending a girl you aren't actually dating?" Steven asked back.

"What makes you think we're not dating?" Michael asked.

"I know Mayren," Steven stated, "And I know you."

Michael chuckled, "You knew Mayren."

It hurt the way that he said my name.

He sounded bothered by the fact that he didn't even know it in the first place.

"Have you fucked her yet?" Steven asked.

Michael just stared at him.

"I didn't fucking think so," Steven said, "You have no idea how hard I had to work before she let me fuck her."

How Michael managed to stay calm, I have no idea.

"She was bigger then," Steven stated, "At least she's hotter now."

Michael looked from Steven to me.

"You actually dated this asshole?" Michael asked.

I nodded. It was all I could manage to do.

"You like my sloppy seconds Mike?" Steven asked.

Michael kept his eyes on me, and I could see the anger in those dark blue eyes.

"That requires you to have her first," Michael stated, "Last time I checked, she was a virgin."

Steven looked a little surprised, "Then you definitely haven't fucked her. She's a fucking liar."

Michael glanced over at him, "Why are you so concerned with who she fucks or doesn't fuck?"

Steven looked like he didn't know what to say to that.

His eyes darted all over the place, as if searching for the words.

"She's fucking disgusting," Steven hissed, "If you actually saw what I saw, then you'd agree with me."

Michael looked pissed off, "I don't think you know what you're talking about."

"She's a fucking cutter," he spat, "If you actually fucked her, you'd have seen it."

"Her thighs?" Michael asked, "So what?"

Steven looked surprised.

"Like I said," Michael said, "She was a virgin, last time I checked."

"You're funny," Steven said, "She wasn't, not after I was done with her."

"Then a tiny dick couldn't pop her cherry," Michael said, "Because I most definitely made her bleed."

I was bothered by this conversation.

Why was Michael so mad?

I was the one that should be angry.

Steven looked confused.

"Fuck you," Steven hissed, "She's a liar."

"So then what am I?" Michael asked, "I told you I fucked her."

"Does Bethany know?" Steven demanded.

"Benny knows," I hissed.

Steven glared at me, "Now you want to fucking talk?"

Michael moved so that he was just a little in front of me.

"You better watch your tone," Michael said.

"Or what?" Steven asked, "You'll hit me?"

"Probably," Michael stated.

"Over this stupid fat fucking bi-" Steven was cut off by a fist hitting him right in the nose.

I gasped once it registered. Michael actually just punched him in the face.

Steven was knocked back into the seat behind him. He looked surprised.

"I told you," Michael growled, "Watch your tone."

"You just fucking hit me," Steven gasped, "What the fuck?"

"I don't give a fuck who you are," Michael said, "Shut the fuck up about Ren."

Steven looked at me with wide eyes, "How stupid are you?"

"Hey," Michael snapped, "What the fuck did I just say?"

"Do you even know anything about him?" Steven asked me.

I knew that there were a lot of things that I didn't actually know about Michael.

That didn't matter.

"I know what I need to know," I stated.

Steven looked like he thought I was stupid.

"You are an idiot Michael," Steven hissed, "I don't know what she told you, but she's a fucking liar."

I don't know what he thinks I lied about.

"Okay?" Michael asked, "She doesn't lie to me."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked, "Did you know about me?"

"I knew about you," he nodded, "She just never told me your name."

"Then you know I was her first," Steven stated, "And you haven't actually done anything with her."

Why was he pushing this so hard?

Neither one of these boys fucked me.

"And you claim that she's the liar," Michael laughed.

"She is a fucking liar," Steven growled, "And I know this whole thing is fake."

Michael just sighed and shook his head.

"Did you still want to get tacos?" he asked me.

I nodded.

The bus stopped, and we got off.

Steven got off the bus right behind us.

"For fucks sake," Michael sighed.

"Who are you trying to fool?" Steven asked, "What the fuck is this even for?"

Michael just led me down the sidewalk as Steven followed.

"Even if it could be true," Steven spat, "Not with her, not with Mayren."

Michael actually stopped to glare at him, "Why not Ren?"

I've been asking myself that question this whole time.

"Look at her!" Steven practically yelled, "That thing on her skin."

I knew this would eventually come up. I hated when people talked about my birthmark like it was a disease.

It felt like one sometimes.

"You think that bothers me?" Michael asked him seriously.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Steven asked.

"A lot," Michael stated, "But there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with a girl like Ren."

"You say that now," Steven stated, "She's fucked up in the head, and so are you."

Michael just shrugged at him, "And your point is?"

"Fuck you Michael," Steven hissed, "And fuck you too."

He pointed at me but flinched once Michael moved forward just a little bit.

He didn't even look like he was going to hit him.

"Why don't you fuck off," Michael said, "I'll deal with you later,"

Steven's mouth actually hung open as Michael put his arm around my waist.

Michael didn't say anything for a good few minutes. I could feel his irritation. I felt it in the way he pulled me closer to him as we walked.

"Fuck," Michael growled, "Him?"

I didn't have the chance to respond.

"Are you fucking kidding?" Michael spat, "Steven fucking Harris?"

I was already ashamed. He didn't need to make me feel worse.

Michael let go of me to stand in front of me, "What were you thinking?"

"I've already told you," I said, "I thought I loved him."

I didn't like the way Michael was looking at me.

"Steven has always been a piece of shit," Michael hissed, "How could you not see it?"

This was never a conversation I wanted to have with him.

Shit, was he actually expecting me to answer that?

"Michael," I said, "You wouldn't understand."

I know that an answer like that was dismissive, but I wasn't ready to talk about it.

Least of all with him.

"So, it's like that then?" he asked.

"Michael," I pleaded, "I can't."

"Why can't you?" he asked.

I just shook my head.

He just stared back at me.

"Michael?"

"What?" he asked.

He didn't snap at me like I expected him to.

He spoke softly.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

"What do you need?''

I could feel my eyes starting to sting.

"I could really use a drink," I confessed.

He looked like he was thinking about it.

"Okay," he said, "Do you know what you want?"

I half expected him to tell me that drinking was a bad idea.

"I don't know," I said, "What would you normally get?"

He made a face.

"What?"

"It depends," he said, "What are you drinking for?"

I had to really think about it.

"To feel better," I said, "To forget today happened."

His gaze on me felt heavy.

He nodded slowly, "Do you think you can get to the Motel from here by yourself?"

I glanced behind me. I remember coming this way with Michael before.

I nodded.

He pulled the keys off his belt loop to hand them to me.

"Wait there for me," he said, "Room twenty-six. I'll meet you back there as soon as I can."

I hesitated before I nodded.

He stood there waiting for me to go first.

"You promise?" I asked.

He looked a little confused.

"You promise that you'll hurry?" I asked.

"Yes," he said softly, "I'll hurry."

I nodded.

"I want to see you go first," he said.

"Okay," I said.

I stood there with him for another minute before I turned around and headed for the Motel.

How I managed to get to the Motel without any problems is beyond me.

Once I got to the room, I just sat at the foot of the bed.

"Please hurry," I mumbled.

I could already feel myself starting to shake.

I wanted to forget everything about the boy who hurt me. I never, for one single second, would have thought that he would show up here.

Damn it.

Michael please, please just hurry.