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Became a Medieval Fantasy Wizard

The absurd adventure story of Ian, a wizard in a medieval fantasy world. Support me: https://www.patreon.com/NeverluckySMILE DISCLAIMER The story belongs entirely to the original author.

NeverluckySMILE · อื่นๆ
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178 Chs

Chapter 93

There's a theory known as "Fan Death."

It's a spooky tale claiming that if you slept in an enclosed room with a fan running, you would be found dead the next morning.

This urban legend had become so well-known in South Korea that it was even featured on the 9 PM news.

Parents with young children panicked after hearing news reports that sleeping with the fan on could kill you.

"Oh my! How terrifying! How can we live like this!"

"Don't turn on the fan at night! If you do, you'll die!!!"

Worried their children might die, they didn't allow fans to be used during the hot summer.

The entire nation seriously believed in the fan death theory.

In fact, it was common for some to lock themselves in their rooms and turn on the fan after arguing with their parents.

"Don't come in my room! I'm going to turn on the fan and just die!"

Children who waited for death in front of a fan in a tightly sealed room...

Well, as everyone expected, they all woke up fine the next morning.

Yes.

The fan death theory is indeed just an urban legend.

Logically, how could a fan on its own, kill a person?

However, just because it was reported on the news, the adults in South Korea took the [Fan Death] theory seriously.

You might think, why not just test it and find out?

But, if by some rare chance, the fan death theory was true, wouldn't the experiment end with a dead body?

That's why the fan death theory didn't easily fade away.

Urban legends might seem comedic from the outside, but in the inside, they're tragedies.

The [Tomato Death Theory] that spread in the northern part of the Holy Empire was just like that.

A priest had died after eating a tomato imported from the south, for some unspecified reason.

Although the exact cause of death was not determined, other priests in the vicinity attributed the priest's death to the tomato.

"They died after eating a tomato, right?!"

"We need to educate the people about this!"

The priests hurriedly taught the farmers that tomatoes were a "crop that causes death when eaten."

If any brave farmer had verified the truth, the priests' teachings would have been exposed as false.

But no farmer wanted to risk their life to challenge the priests' claims.

Then as now, curiosity equals heaven.

It means going to meet God.

"So, eating this means you die?"

"Yes! It's dangerous, so don't even come close!"

Tomatoes are one of the popular crops in the southern Coral Sea that people can't eat enough of.

If Sword Master Salvador from the South saw this, he would burst into laughter at the absurdity.

Logically, why would anyone in the South cultivate in mass a crop that kills when eaten?

But the northerners seriously believed in the [Tomato Death Theory].

... And so, assassins began buying tomatoes for assassinations.

"Keke... I'll send you straight to hell, Takarion!"

That's why Takarion's assassins ended up making tomato soup.

Ian had the chance to eat under a roof for a change, but it sparked no particular emotion in him.

He had already grown tired of the medieval dining style.

Most likely another salted roast dish was coming.

Grill, steam, boil.

Once the cooking was done, just sprinkle some salt on it.

There, the exciting medieval cuisine is complete!

Easy, right?

In fact, this ridiculously simple cooking style can be seen all over contemporary Europe.

Bread, meat, and a bit of vegetables are grilled, steamed, boiled... and simply eaten.

A typical example is steak.

Grilling can be considered an art form, but when it comes down to it, it's just grilled meat served with butter.

Throw in some asparagus, and you're done.

Even monks consider a simple meal a virtue.

Looking at the attire of the nun Mionia, she seems to live a free-spirited lifestyle...

But could it really be more luxurious than a noble's meal?

Until recently, Ian had been residing at Devosi Castle, a prosperous estate where he even enjoyed meals sprinkled with pepper.

The meal was served at a merchant's house, which appeared to be the residence where Sister Mionia was staying.

"There isn't much, but please eat your fill!" the homeowner obsequiously offered as he served the food.

Surprised, the monks murmured among themselves.

"What kind of food is this?"

"The soup is bright red... really unusual, isn't it?"

It wasn't just idle chatter.

The food the merchant had prepared was indeed unusual.

It was a soup, but the broth was as red as blood.

"The smell is quite nice though."

Neither the monks, Belenka, nor Kira knew what this red soup was.

The only ones who knew the identity of the soup at this gathering were the merchant, Mionia, and Ian.

'...Tomato?'

Ian silently guessed.

He tasted the soup with his lips.

It was a tangy flavor.

'Wow...!'

Yes, it was indeed tomato soup.

Moved nearly to tears by the tangy, refreshing taste he hadn't experienced in almost 20 years, Ian was overwhelmed.

Tomato!

It's a staple in every hamburger, not to mention how its distinctive tangy umami flavor finds its way into all sorts of dishes, especially complementing meat dishes well.

After eating only greasy meat for so long, tasting the tangy tomato was an eye-opening experience.

Yes! You medieval folks!

Don't just gorge on meat; eat some proper vegetables too!

Having seen just the tomato soup, Ian was already excited about the main course.

Surely the merchant must have brought precious ingredients to treat the clergy!

Just as Ian was thinking this, there was a sudden noise.

Thud!

Someone roughly pushed back their chair and stood up.

It was Sister Mionia.

"What's the matter, Sister?" the merchant asked Mionia with a smile.

Mionia was visibly shocked.

That's...soup made with [tomatoes]?!

Is he planning to kill everyone here!!!

Sister Mionia trembled, then looked at the merchant with a stern expression.

"What in the world are you doing?" she demanded.

"What do you mean, all of a sudden?"

"You intend to serve this meal to everyone here? Really...! Do you think that's the right thing to do!"

Startled by Mionia's outcry, the monks looked puzzled.

However, the merchant remained calm.

"Of course, I must treat everyone. Wouldn't it be strange to give special treatment to just one person?"

"...Is that so," Mionia's voice sank, filled with betrayal.

Even if she had been forced to join the table due to the mother superior's threats, she had no intention of standing by during a massacre.

Yes. This was already the realm of massacre!

Feeding tomato soup to everyone seated here! How horrifying!

Takarion awkwardly chuckled.

"Sister. Why are you suddenly...?"

Just then, Mionia flipped Takarion's soup bowl.

"Ah!"

"Sister?!"

Immediately after flipping the bowl, Mionia shouted, "Everyone, take your hands off the soup! It contains poison!"

"What, what?!"

"Poison, I tell you!"

Spitting hurriedly, Ian spat out his saliva.

"Poison? Did she say poison?"

"Damn it. I just tasted a little. Am I okay?"

"What foolishness," the merchant commented with a gesture.

Then, men armed with swords appeared en masse.

"Mionia. Was it that hard to follow orders?"

"It's ten times harder to follow someone who intends to poison everyone!"

Mionia countered as the merchant approached her with a sinister smile, the monks immobilized by the swords pointed at them.

"Keke... No choice then. I must send you first to the Lord."

"You... despicable human!"

The merchant extended something to Mionia.

Ian cocked his head, puzzled.

"It's a deadly poison from the Coral Sea. Eat it."

"Keke...!"

Although the merchant claimed it was a deadly poison...

It didn't really look like one, did it?

That's because the 'deadly poison' the merchant handed over was actually a tomato.

"Come on! Eat it quickly!"

"Ugh! The Lord is watching your sins!"

"Hahaha! Eat it quickly, Mionia!"

Mionia desperately shook her head.

To Ian, she looked like a child who was being picky about their food...

'Things have gotten complicated again.'

Ian calmly collected himself and assessed the situation.

He had accepted an invitation to a dinner hosted by a nun, but the venue turned out to be filled with assassins.

Among them, there was only one person they truly wanted dead—Takarion.

'But from their readiness to draw swords, it seems they were planning to kill all of us.'

The assassins intended to kill not just Takarion, but also his fellow monks and even Ian's group.

The evidence lay right before Ian—the tomato soup.

'...'

Ian scooped up some more soup and brought it to his mouth.

Focusing, he recalled a conversation he had once had with Mani, a seasoned herbologist.

'You might need to forage in the forest, so I'll teach you my magic to detect plant poisons.'

'Oh, magic?'

Mani, the skilled herbologist, had taught Ian the magic to identify plant toxins.

Until now, there had never been a need to use this magic because he had never foraged for plants.

But now, it was incredibly useful.

'...Just as I thought.'

Ian was certain. There was no real poison in the soup.

It was a delicious soup made solely with tomatoes.

There might be some unknown poison that Ian was unaware of, but at least he knew the tomatoes were safe to eat.

Ian subtly scanned the surroundings.

Belenka was immobilized by the sword pointed at her, but Kira was relatively less closely watched.

If Ian created a diversion, there would be enough chaos.

"Alright, Mionia. If you ingest the poison yourself, I will spare the others."

"Really?!"

The assassin sneered wickedly.

"Of course."

It was a lie.

It was merely a ploy to coerce Mionia into [suicide].

But for the desperate, there was no choice.

"Fine. I'll eat it," Mionia said, as if sighing.

Perhaps it was for the best.

Though coerced, she had participated in such a sordid affair as assassination while serving God.

If she could atone for her sins even slightly with her life, then she was content.

Whether she liked it or not, she was a servant of God.

Mionia held the poison (tomato) in her hand. Her hand trembled.

Belenka's eyes were sharp, as if ready to spring into action at any moment.

Ian quickly sent a message.

The tomato soup moved on its own and displayed the words.

[Wait.]

"...?"

Belenka didn't understand the message Ian sent.

She couldn't read...

But she sensed that Ian was planning something.

Ian took a deep breath and prepared to initiate his 'wizardy'.

"I can no longer stand listening to this."

Ian's voice filled the dining area and spread throughout.

Both the assassin and Mionia stopped what they were doing and looked at Ian.

"What? Who are you?"

Naturally... The assassin had no idea who Ian was.

Indeed, he knew nothing about Ian's entire party.

He just thought they were some nobles' children participating in a pilgrimage with the monks.

So when Ian stood up, nobody really paid attention.

"What are you doing? Sit down immediately..."

"Put the knife away."

Ian stared directly into the swordsman's eyes and commanded with a voice that carried the unique persuasive power of a wizard.

"What, what?!"

"Put the knife away. What, do you plan to stab someone with that? Are you a murderer?"

"..."

The swordsman, upon making eye contact with Ian, seemed to lose his composure.

Ian, who had frequently encountered mystical forces, had an indescribable madness in his gaze that could unsettle the soul of the faint-hearted.

"No, no sir..."

Unintentionally, the swordsman used formal speech.

The enigmatic aura emanating from Ian brought forth an indescribable sense of oppression, naturally drawing out formal speech.

Ian dismissed the swordsman and confronted the assassin.

The assassin sized up Ian and remarked,

"Must be some noble's son. But if I stab you, you'll die just the same, won't you? If you don't want to die, just sit down and shut up."

Ian maintained his composure.

Ian was a farmer's son.

"You said you'd spare the others if I eat the poison? Then, may I eat it?"

"!!!"

"!!!"

As soon as Ian spoke, the monks were shocked.

"No, Ian sir! What are you saying!"

"That must not be! It absolutely must not be!!!"

"Rather let me! I will eat it instead!"

They were startled by Ian's sudden action.

At the same time, they were deeply moved.

To offer up his own life for others...

What a holy sacrifice!

However, contrary to the monks' thoughts, Ian was not thinking of 'sacrifice' at all.

It was just a tomato...

His aim was to create a disturbance and distract the guards.

In short, it was just a performance by an ordinary wizard.

"Uh, uh..."

Takarion hesitated as if he were in urgent need of a restroom.

He wanted to make a grand 'sacrifice' himself, but he just couldn't find the words.

"This can't be! What are you suddenly saying!"

Mionia stepped forward, flustered, looking at Ian.

Apparently, he seemed like a noble's child traveling on a pilgrimage with the monks.

To think he decided to sacrifice himself to save others! (Not really)

Ian made up a suitable response to console Mionia.

"It is a believer's duty to step forward for those devoted to the clergy."

"Ah...!"

Mionia unwittingly teared up.

There were many who professed faith with their lips.

However, most sought faith only in words and never practiced it directly.

Such transparent and pure faith!

Mionia felt as if the darkness in her heart was slowly clearing.

"But...!"

"If you pray for me, sister, a miracle might happen, and I might survive."

"..."

"Please, will you pray for me."

As Ian spoke with a smile, Mionia burst into tears.

Sacrifice is a word not easily uttered.

Mionia too found it difficult to continue shouting for her own death when Ian offered himself instead.

Instead, she decided to pray for Ian.

"I will... I will... Sob! Yes, I will pray!"

"Brother Ian!"

"Sob! I too! I too will pray for Brother Ian!"

The monks collectively shed tears.

...Ian felt a bit embarrassed.

Anyone would think he was headed to his death.

But Ian had no intention of dying at all.

All Ian needed was to sufficiently distract the assassins' attention.

"You're offering to eat the poison instead?"

"Yes."

"Ha ha ha. What a fool. Well, go ahead if you really want to."

The assassin readily consented to Ian's proposal for self-sacrifice.

After all, his plan had been to eliminate everyone, including Takarion.

Ian volunteering to die meant one less person he needed to forcibly kill.

It was also somewhat distasteful to harm such a devout person directly.

Ian stood in front of the assassin.

The assassin regarded Ian with a gleam of excitement in his eyes, finding amusement in the situation.

It was also an opportunity to witness firsthand the supposed toxicity of the [tomato].

"Hehe. Are you sure you won't regret this? You can still go back to your seat, and I'd understand."

Ian smirked, confidently gripping the tomato.

He then bit into it without any hesitation.

"…!"

"…!"

Sister Mionia covered her mouth.

A frail monk sniffled.

"For us... such a sacrifice...!"

"Ah... Ian... are you truly a saint...!"

Regardless of their reactions, Ian chewed the tomato thoroughly and swallowed.

It was delicious—unexpectedly so.

'Delicious.'

"I might as well have another."

Ian picked up a second tomato.

"Gasp!"

"Two, two of them...!"

"Stop! Really! You'll really die!"

The monks wailed in despair.

Ian's actions deeply moved them, and the room was again filled with tears.

Meanwhile, the assassin sneered, amused by Ian's apparent foolishness.

"Ha. He's so eager to die. Good thing I didn't interfere!"

"Hurry up and die, you fool!"

Ian, ignoring the reactions around him, bit into a third tomato.

It was just as delicious as the others.

That's when the assassins began to feel something was off.

'...? What's going on?'

'Why isn't he dying???'

After eating three supposedly deadly plants???

Ian chuckled.

Eating tomatoes isn't going to kill anyone.

"Curious why I'm still alive?"

Nods.

The assassins were staring blankly at Ian, witnessing a rare spectacle they couldn't have paid to see.

Even the swordsman guarding Belenka and Kira was distracted by Ian's performance.

Now's the chance!

Snap!

Ian snapped his fingers and shouted,

"It's all thanks to Kira's fireworks!"

Caught off guard by Ian's sudden declaration, the assassins were completely baffled.

Fireworks? What fireworks?

But Kira knew exactly what Ian wanted.

Showtime, Kira!

"[Fire!]"

As she shouted, Kira launched the fireworks.

The guards, who should have restrained her, were so captivated by Ian's performance that they couldn't react in time.

With a thunderous noise and fireworks bursting like a fountain, the guards were startled and scrambled backward.

However, Kira's fireworks were merely dazzling and not lethal.

But as the guards backed off...

The Black Knight seized the opportunity to draw her sword!

In a flash of silver light, a severed head flew through the air.

It was Belenka, wielding a longsword.

Caught off guard, the subordinates watched helplessly, unable to fight back.

It felt like being caught in a fairy's prank.

"What are you... exactly?"

Ian, retreating into the shadows, responded,

"Ian. A wizard."

But it was not the mischief of a fairy, but the sleight of hand of a wizard.