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I close my eyes as the tears begin to fall silently down my cheeks, warm unwelcome rivulets of remembrance. The pain returning once more, and I can’t stop myself. My heart filling up and straining to contain it as my mind is swamped with images I don’t want to relive, and I shudder as I push them away, inhaling heavily as my shoulders start to tremble with the effort of not falling apart. The horrors of how I last saw them all, trying so hard to invade my brain and cut me down all over again.
I nestle back into Colton as his arm comes up around my body and across my neck as he cuddles me. His comfort, because he can feel my pain, my body trembling as I cry, squeezing my eyes shut to gain control. His touch is what I need more than anything and I stay here in the darkness of my own doing, listening and silently weeping while held tight in his comforting embrace.