Chapter 32: Shame and Grief - 98 AG

Now, Sozim found himself perched on the temple steps, the sun dipping below the horizon, casting a warm, comforting breeze upon him. By his side sat Guru Pathik, a silent guide amidst the tranquil surroundings, creating the perfect ambiance for Sozim's journey into unlocking his chakras.

Guru Pathik's voice broke the silence. "The next chakra is the fire chakra, situated in your stomach. It's all about willpower, blocked by the weight of shame. So, Sozim, contemplate it. What are you ashamed of? What past action has left you disappointed in yourself?"

"So, shame…" Sozim mumbled thoughtfully. He closed his eyes, his breath steadying. His hand gently rested on his stomach, his focus directed inward, pondering, "What am I ashamed of?"

In an instant, another vision materialized, tinted with a subtle yellow hue. Sozim found himself on a beach, the sand tickling his skin, the seawater washing over his feet. It was midnight, yet the sky bore an orange glow, reminiscent of a never-ending sunset.

Before him, he observed his younger self, perched on a wooden dock, a harrowing scene unfolding. A child floated in the air, choking, while a sinister pleasure danced in his eyes, and the child's life slowly slipped away.

Sozim's eyes furrowed as he realized, "This is my memory… I'm… ashamed of my inability to control it—the bloodlust, the madness. If only I could have... many lives could have been spared, innocent or not."

Suddenly, footsteps approached from the side of the dock, and upon turning, Sozim saw a colossal bat spirit, sneering but not attacking. The spirit's words taunted, "You can never control it, you thief. Sooner or later, it will consume you. A mere human like you can't resist our influence. Give up, and your shame will vanish. You'll see that resistance is futile."

Guru Pathik's voice echoed into the scene, dispelling the spirit's influence. "Don't listen to him. To accept your shame, you must first accept the circumstances. You were just a boy then, untrained to confront your ailment. It's okay to have faltered."

The spirit persisted, circling the younger Sozim. "You were a boy then, and you're still a boy now. Can an inexperienced child like you resist spirits like us? It's not shameful to surrender and let me take over."

Sozim retorted, spitting at the spirit. "No, I've come this far. Why yield to you now? Even if my younger self struggled because of you, there's still a chance to—"

The bat spirit lunged at Sozim with a menacing intent, but as it reached him, it passed through him as if he were intangible.

"Remember, young man," Guru Pathik's voice echoed once more. "This is all an illusion. It's not real."

Sozim smirked at the seething spirit. "Of course," he taunted, "see you in the next vision, old bat."

"YOU!!!—"

Before the spirit could make another move, Sozim returned to the real world, drenched in sweat, his hands trembling.

Guru Pathik congratulated him with a smile. "Well done, Sozim. You've unlocked the third chakra."

—

In the shroud of night, Azula lay on her rented room's bed within the quiet village. Her two companions, sound asleep in various corners of the room, while she, gazing upwards, wore a profound frown on her face.

Her mind echoed with the words of the fortune teller, probing her deepest desires. Initially, she dismissed it as a foolish question; her aspirations were evident – dominion, the throne, and her father's acknowledgment. Yet, a revelation dawned. Nearly all her desires were entwined with her father in some manner, be it his approval, his throne, or his prowess. This notion troubled her. She'd realized this before, but now, at this very moment, her heart whispered that something wasn't quite right.

This question first surfaced through her mentors, the twins, then her uncle, Iroh, and now, that cursed fortune teller. She shifted her position, her gaze now on her sleeping companions. Her life had been overshadowed by her father's presence; she'd yearned for his attention, strived to please him. For a while, she succeeded, becoming his pride – practicing relentlessly, attaining prodigious skill. Then, the boy entered her life, and everything unraveled.

His intrusion led to her exile, and when she returned, empty-handed, humiliation awaited. Her father's attention waned once more. Though she sensed he still favored her over her inept counterpart, it was not the same. She longed for that warmth once more, but it eluded her.

Now, she felt profoundly alone. Her mother had deemed her a monster, and her father had turned away due to her inability to maintain her prodigious status. She closed her eyes and pondered, 'What do I truly desire?' But her thoughts remained unaltered – revenge, the restoration of her honor, and the revival of her father's approval. No other wishes emerged, for she knew nothing beyond these.

"What nonsense..." she murmured, curling up in her bed. Despite her attempt to sleep, slumber eluded her. She remained awake throughout the night, until the moon vanished from view, and the sun ushered in a new day.

—

Almost simultaneously, deep into the night, Sozim found himself perched beside the statue of Avatar Yangchen, sharing the quietude with Guru Pathik. The night was serenely tranquil, the gentle breeze rustling through the passages, yet a haunting presence clung to the surroundings, a sense that this place, once bustling, now lay shrouded in emptiness.

"The fourth chakra is the Air Chakra," Guru Pathik began. "It deals with love and is obstructed by grief. Young man, ponder what stirs grief within your heart."

Sozim nodded, shutting his eyes as he settled into a meditative stance. Deep within, he questioned, "Is there grief within me?" 

In an instant, a vision materialized, transporting him to a world bathed in hues of green, though it turned out to be a world of nothingness. He stood amidst an eerie void, enveloped by a swirling blend of black and green.

"What is this?" Sozim whispered, bewildered by the emptiness.

"The emotion of love is profoundly intertwined with grief. Normally, love heals grief, while grief corrodes love," the old man's voice resonated through the void. "Ask yourself: Do you truly lack grief? Or is it something else?"

Sozim gazed downward, as a sinister sneer echoed through the place. The Spirit Chio, unseen but unmistakable, taunted him. "Is grief beyond your capacity?" Chio's chuckles rumbled deep. "I may have underestimated you. Perhaps we share a kinship. United, we might become a force even the Avatar himself would dread."

"No," Sozim stammered. "I'm not devoid of grief. I grieve the absence of someone to love. Throughout my journey, I'm almost always alone. I dine alone, I drink alone, I hunt alone, I revel alone, I tread alone. Sometimes you grow used to it, but most times it makes everything seem futile. At day's end, success or failure carries no weight; there's no one to celebrate or mourn for me. I'm a lost soul, a chance happening. I don't even have my own face, my own body."

Chio's voice echoed again. "If everything seems meaningless, abandon your body, and I shall put it to good use."

"But that's not true, young Sozim," this time, Guru Pathik interjected. "You have those who've looked after you when you were stranded. You have General Iroh to share your stories with. You have the Southern Water Tribe, the herbalist. I'm certain each of them would be elated to see you once more. It's a kind of love, a familial and friendship bond."

Sozim smiled gently. "You're right. I do have someone to return to." Suddenly, images of the people Sozim had encountered materialized in the void, as if frozen in time, encouraging him to persevere. He nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. And at last, the world fractured, and he returned to his body.

"That's the fourth one," Guru Pathik hummed. "Three more to uncover." The old man turned his gaze to the heavens and nodded. "But for now, we shall rest. Tomorrow, we'll continue our journey."