chapter eleven

Lexa woke up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. She wrapped herself in one of the furs that adorned her bed and went out at night. She walked haphazardly through the forest, not ready to face another living thing. What had happened with Jake… She couldn't get over it. She hadn't dared to tell her friends about it, shame having seeped into all her pores. She doubted her relationship with him, and above all… She, Lexa, had let him do this to her. Looking around, she noticed that she had come to the edge of the hot spring that she had found when she was a child. She let go of the fur, which fell to the ground, and began to howl, completely naked, at the moon. She knelt down, in tears, finally agreeing to cry. She wept for her friend gone too soon, for what had happened. She finally let those damn vibrations free, illuminating the entire fountain with golden reflections. She had let him do this to her. And above all, how could he? He… she thought he was her soul mate, her mate… But after that… She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

- What is happening ? Lexa?

She whirled around, her tears drying instantly. Carter was swimming behind her, in the now luminous water. He looked at her with so much compassion that it hurted .

- I ...

Her voice was hoarse, and she began to cry again. He grabbed her and dragged her gently into the water with him, remembering hearing her say that the water soothed her.

- Tell me what's wrong, Lexa. I promise you I won't judge you.

_ I... I miss him. I miss him so much.... every day. And ...

Something in that last word alarmed the young man, who tightened his grip on her.

- And... What happened, sweetheart?

She didn't react to the sweet little name, and stared into space. He had just concluded that she would not answer when she whispered:

- I had... An altercation with Jake earlier at the pizzeria.

He then noticed something on her wrists. He grabbed one, delicately, and saw something that made his blood boil. Bruises . In finger shapes.

- I'm going to kill him . Just kill him. I swear to you.

She turned around and cupped his face in her hands.

-- No , it 's nothing ... It 's still my ...

She had never said it out loud, and now it seemed even more unlikely.

- Your mate ? If it was, Lexa, do you think he'd treat you like that?

a horrible feeling seized him in the guts:

- Lexa, does... Does he ...

She cried even harder and nodded, refusing to say the "R" word, which would make it so much more real. He took it upon himself and pinned her against his body. She stayed like that for a long time, listening to the soothing rhythm of his heart beating in his chest, before she stood up to him.

- Make love to me, Carter.

He gave her a puzzled look:

- Are you sure ? To bring it back to sex... Wouldn't that be trivializing it?

She kissed him and whispered:

- No, I want to exorcise it. Please help me .

So he loved her, gently, delicately, careful not to hurt her and keeping eye contact with her throughout, always checking that she was okay. After that, they swam in the water, then they went to take a full moon bath. As the silver beams lit up their bodies, Carter noticed the golden sparkles that colored the air.

- Why are you hiding this?

She jumped, a flash of panic in her eyes, and bit her lip, which she seemed to be doing quite a bit when she was nervous. He thought she wasn't going to answer, since she remained silent, but she finished by whispering again :

- When I was little, it was mainly because I knew that as soon as the other alphas would realize this, I would be torn to pieces . And now, I don't want to be left out because I scare them.

His heart ached, thinking of the Lexa as a child , forced to hide in order to protect herself from the adults. The wolves protected the weakest a lot, but as soon as one was strong or powerful, one was thrown into the lions' den . He pulled her against him, taking her in his arms and blowing against her warm skin:

- I understand . But you don't have to hide with me, Lexa. I find every part of you absolutely beautiful.

She rested her head against his chest.

- Thanks for being here, Carter.

He smiled against her long soft locks.

- I'm glad to be here, really.

They remained silent for a few moments, Lexa resting her chin on his bare chest, she asked:

- Can I sleep with you tonight?

He smiled at her:

- Of course !

Lexa opened her eyes, and She closed them right away: she didn't want to face the world, and even less... Jake. She felt so good there in that bed, Carter's body wrapped around hers. But she forced herself out of bed, pulling on a pair of jeans she'd left on a previous occasion with one of the young man's t-shirts. She smiles to herself: Jake didn't want her to smell like Carter? Well he was going to be served. Carter came up from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek before asking:

- Do you want to have breakfast with the others?

She shook her head negatively.

- I'd rather eat here together, if you don't mind.

He nodded, and set to work; he took the food out of the fridge and in no time at all prepared some pancakes for her , which he decorated with fruit smileys covered in maple syrup. She giggled, and they wolfed it all down in no time at all. They had just set foot outside when they passed Jake, who headed straight for them. Carter positioned himself in front of the girl, blocking the way with his body, as Nia, Caleb, and Franklin looked on in puzzlement. Jake growled:

- Let me through, Cub. I want to talk to my... Lexa.

The coward , Carter thought, he doesn't even dare say it out loud. He began to growl in turn, daring the other male to move him. Lexa slipped between them, putting her hand on Carter's chest.

-- It 's fine , I 'll manage .

Then with a smile:

- Thank you, Carter.

He moved away to give them privacy, all his instincts and his wolves yelling at him in unison not to leave and to protect the young girl. Franklin gave him a questioning look.

- what is going on between them? I never saw them arguing.

Carter took a deep breath and outlined the situation to them. When he finished, Franklin and Caleb were flushed with anger, and growls rose from their chests.

- What did he do ?!

- I'm sorry, Lexie-lex. I lost control. But you understand, don't you?

He was looking at her with puppy dog ​​eyes, but Lexa was buoyed up enough not to give in. She crossed her arms over her chest and replied:

- No, Jake. I don't understand . I would never have been able to hurt you. You treated me like... Like an object!

He begged her with a look, but she didn't flinch. Suddenly, the boy's nostrils flared and his pupils narrowed. He had detected the smell on the T-shirt. Lexa cracked a smirk.

- yup, I smell like him. And I made love to him last night. Not fuck, no, that's what you DID to me. (seeing that it touched him, her grin widens) That hurts, doesn't it? Well, know that I have absolutely no regrets.

He growled, his voice so bestial that she was surprised he hadn't turned into a wolf yet.

- Don't push me, Lexa. I'm trying to be nice, okay?

She scoffed, more sarcastic than ever:

- Anyway, what are you going to do? Attack me again? You didn't claim me, Jake, so if you lay a fucking hand on me without my consent here, every male on the perimeter will try to kill you.

- Lex...

Heartbroken, the young girl walked away, swinging her long hair over her shoulder. She went to find her small group of friends, and, leaning on her brother, she launched, as joyfully as possible:

- Let's go ? We are going to be late !

His friends pretended nothing was wrong, and they climbed into the back of the pack's pick-ups, which were about to start. She glanced behind her and saw Jake standing at the edge of the parking lot, still staring at her with his pleading puppy eyes. This vision finally broke her heart and she turned to her friends, hiding her tears as best she could. Someone took her hand, and it was like a raft in the middle of the ocean. She looked up and saw Carter, who was smiling at her. She squeezed him back, and sat up. She was going to have a good day, to be happy, to make Jake regret so much that he would drag himself at her feet to beg her forgiveness. She was Lexa Filarmony , for the Goddess sake ! She wasn't going to get run over by a man , that was out of the question.