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ANBU: Card System In Naruto

Kaori never signed up to be a ninja, in fact, her business had just started to show signs of success when she was thrown into the world of Naruto. All she wanted was a normal life, a cup of lukewarm tea, and maybe a pet pug... won't say no to a couple of millions. But here she was, somehow inducted into the ANBU's Barrier and Security department – a guaranteed low-key job of being stealthy and keeping tabs on some unimportant lamb. Except the world seemed hellbent on making her life a living hell. Then came the card system – now, she can collect cards that grants jutsus, tools, rare bloodline abilities, and even... people. Talk about a game changer! The gears in Kaori's mind started to turn. Maybe, just maybe, she could carve out her own little force, a small ninja army that could ensure that she survives the world-ending wars each Friday, and maybe even get a decent retirement. Her new mission seemed promising enough – a simple surveillance job. "It's a simple enough job, all you have to do is keep an eye on someone." "Who?" "Oh, no one important... just Kushina Uzumaki." "...Who?" {UPDATE} {Must Read: Before anyone starts reading, please let me remind them that this is a crackpot comedy with 50% nonsensical comedy! So read at your own risk and please do not complain that the MC is not taking things seriously... cause she's not supposed to.} Discord Link just in case anyone wanna join: https://discord.gg/yV4CmEx9 ***{You can support my writing on my patron at: patreon.com/echoingdusk}*** ***{Once Again: 'Support' is not a transaction but support as in supporting the author writing... if that makes any sense at all.}***

EchoingDusk · อะนิเมะ&มังงะ
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
34 Chs

Chapter: 21

"You know the deal! All or nothing! Either you finish the Ramen,"

He leaned in, a shadow falling over his face and a pair of red eyes burning with malice stared down at Kaori,

"Or the Ramen finishes you!"

*****

*GULP*

'You gotta be kidding me!'

"YOU'RE ON!!!"

Kushina, of course, didn't seem all that perturbed by the fact that the ramen looked like something straight out of Orochimaru's lab. She took a pair of chopsticks, stirred the broth, and dug in like a hungry shark.

*SLURP!*

"SOOO! GOOD!"

Sure enough, Kushina 'WAS' the Nine Tail's jinchūriki, nothing else could have granted her the iron constitution to stomach that stuff.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in!"

Teuchi's eyes had that strange madness to them, it must be the horror of cooking something like that despite being an expert ramen chef. If Teuchi wasn't bad enough, there was still Mrs. Ichiraku staring at her with her hawk-like eyes... Kushina didn't bother with all that, she was busy munching on the meat. 

[No other options left.]

With a sigh, Kaori picked up a single-use chopstick, parted it, and cautiously dipped the wood into the broth,

*HISS*

Before she could back out, two pairs of very keen eyes settled on her. A frenzy awakened within them that she had no intention of facing after all the trouble she just went through, getting there.

[What did the pirate lass say?]

'Yo-ho... 'ere we go.'

She took a deep breath and aimed for the smallest piece of spicy red beef she could spot in the bowl. As her hand closed in on it, a sensation as though she was shoving it into a boiling pot erupted from her skin, but she refused to let it go. With a determined look plastered across her face, she bit down hard on the chopsticks.

[Any second now!]

Kaori waited... and waited... and waited for the coughing to start but,

"It's pretty good."

Kushina beamed at her,

"I know right!"

Kaori took a second bite, a third, and before she knew it, she was scarfing down the bowl like an Akimichi after a diet,

"Hehehe."

Kushina chuckled, her palm covering her face like some sort of modest lady, but Kaori knew if anyone in their batch could be called a delinquent, in the ninja world that is, it would be her.

"Oi! You were thinking something rude just now, weren't you!?"

'Oops, looks like I forgot the Nine Tail's Jinchūriki can sense emotions passively.'

Kushina must have adapted to the powers better than Naruto since she had prior training from the last Jinchūriki, Lady Mito, and the Adamantine Sealing Chains of the Uzumaki clan, not to mention the royal bloodline of the Clan. 

It might sound a bit rude of her, but Kaori believed that Naruto inherited more from his father's genetic heritage than his mother's. Well, maybe the ramen addiction, scatterbrain, and chakra pool were from his mother's side after all.

"Heh."

"What's so funny?"

Asked Kushina, eyeing Kaori suspiciously.

"Nothing."

The redhead felt a bit suspicious of Kaori, she wasn't flustered while answering or troubled or puzzled, which only meant she lied fluidly. Kushina may not look like it, but she's been trained by the best of the best!

"So, Tokubetsu Jōnin right?"

She asked again, trying to make conversation.

Kaori chuckled, she figured as much. Kushina may be a brat sometimes, but she was observative and probably guessed her raw strength and chakra while running around with her in the tow, and adjusted her pace so as not to cause any permanent harm,

"No, Chunin."

Kushina frowned,

"That can't be right. You meet most of the physical requirements. And the ANBU missions should be worth more than enough merits to get you promoted."

The ANBU Black Ops. didn't follow the village's conventional mission/reward policies. Since they handled missions that were better kept from the eyes of the public or those of extreme importance but with no clientele such as security and surveillance, they instead preferred to use a merit system. Their promotion was quick but not without a thorough examination of a member's skill and abilities.

Ninja gears were issued to them almost weekly and they could put in a request for more or specialized tools and the village would do its best to fulfill them. Additionally, they earned a monthly salary, mission expenditure, bonus, medical benefits, housing, and insurance... so yeah, they were basically government employees.

"Well, it is what it is. I guess I haven't been on all that many missions to be considered for a promotion."

*SLURP*

"I guess... but do you know what that makes you?"

*SIP*

Kaori took a sip of the broth and turned to see Kushina desperately holding herself back from laughing out loud,

"What? Spill it!"

The Redhead grinned slyly and began in a sing-song voice,

"That. Means. You're. Officially. The. Junior. Most. Member. of. Our. Gang!"

'What?'

[There is no data of you being part of any illegal political group.]

'Shut it! She said gang not the fucking Mafia!'

Kaori did recollect some memories of there being a group of them back when she was still in the academy... of course, she was not the nucleus of the group!

It was Minato!

Kinda like Naruto's friend circle, just a lot wider and more pleasant.

"You mean Minato's buddies?"

Kushina pouted angrily,

"Of course not. We were there as well, remember! You, me, and Mikoto."

Yes, she was there, and so were, Shikaku, Inoichi, Chōza, Shibi, Fugaku, Minato, Mikoto, and Kushina. Hizashi and Hiashi were two years older than the rest, while Tsume and Shizune were a year younger.

Another group of Clan Leaders and future powerhouses all revolving around one person destined to be the Hokage... maybe Minato did get Asura's Chakra but no one got Indra's so this reincarnation cycle was scrapped?

But Kushina was right, she was the weakest of their batch, most of them were Jonins by now, even Elite Jonins. It left a strange taste in her mouth, a slightly old reminiscent one with a hint of bitterness to it, after all, if it were not for the system, she would be dead by now,

"WHAT!?"

'Hmm? Oh.'

While lost in her thoughts, she had inadvertently finished off her bowl and was biting down on the chopsticks... maybe that was the reason behind the strange taste.

"BUT HOW!?"

It was Mrs. Ichiraku who was shouting as though she had just seen a ghost,

"What's the matter?"

Kaori asked, slightly concerned about what could have shaken the proprietress so much.

"How could you have finished that? No one, no one other than Kushina-chan, not even Minato, has ever finished my husband's special 'Ultimate Deluxe Mega Spicy Beef and Rice Cake Combo Ramen!' and lived to tell the tale."

'Really?' 

Kaori felt as though she still had a bit of space left in her stomach, just about enough for a serving of Dango and a cup of hot tea.

With a shrug, Kaori looked over and saw Teuchi's pale, lifeless body lying on the counter, a white specter floating out of his mouth all the while Mrs. Ichiraku desperately tried to stuff it back in.

'Quite the loving couple aren't they.'

Even Kushina was staring at her in surprise, a particularly juicy piece of beef stuck between her lips. She looked like a cat, watching something curious while forgetting it had a fish in its mouth.

'Say, what would happen if I were to just...'

[Do you want to be caught in bed with the future Hokage's wife?]

Kaori's eyes twitched in annoyance,

'That's not what I meant!'

She just wanted to ask what would happen if she bought another bowl!

***{You can support my writing on my patron at: patreon.com/echoingdusk***