Black Flash :

A black flash. I regain my sight. I find the feelings. I'm in pain, terribly bad. I hear people laughing, shouting at me. I look up, my face pales. It's impossible, it must be a nightmare. Was it all just a dream? In my madness did I imagine that I had killed them? Did I figure out my plan to kill the last one in the hospital? Did I imagine the moment of rejoicing? The feeling of power?

I was finally out of this circle. Finally I was freed from the chains that hindered a better tomorrow. Finally I had overcome this lack of courage, this weakness which condemned my being to remain at the bottom of the abyss.

Frozen to the ground I tremble. I tremble with a laugh of madness that shakes my body like spasms as the beatings and humiliation of these buffoons fall on me. My eyes are bloodshot and in a moment of respite I stagger to my feet. My nose is broken, I put it back in place. A horrible crack then rings in the air, I don't feel the pain. They look at me, on their guard, my strange behavior has silenced them. Paralyzed, they watch me scratch the skin of my face in an excess of anger, an excess of madness in the face of the injustice of my existence, the injustice of what is happening to me.

I'm condemned to hell and on top of that, as if that weren't enough, illusions cross my brain to taunt me, like an unattainable vision, a utopia. That's it, look at me, judge me, admire the monster you've created. My head has become a jungle, a chaos, a mess worthy of a dump. Perhaps sensing that they had gone too far or out of fear that I would turn my madness on them, they fled. They leave me alone with my own demons, of which Bob is one.

I cry, my heart which felt nothing until now, is unleashed. A sadness like I've never known. A mountain that weighs me down with all its weight. I feel heavy.

It took 3 hours for my crying to stop. I had dried up my tears. Lifeless, staring into space, I go home. It's 7 p.m. and my parents are home in about 30 minutes. No one again, just me in silence, in darkness, in coldness. My heart is still bleeding but my face shows nothing.

Without emotions, he is like a white mask, immutable and expressionless.

I hear my parents come home. They don't care if everything is okay, how my day was or even if I ate. No, of course not, far too busy worrying about themselves, worrying about their next night of pleasure, a night when I will hear my mother moaning like a tramp.

For 2 whole days I forgot to eat, bathe, sleep and even masturbate. Only now does my soul cry out for sleep.

My eyes close and without any thoughts, I walk off into the darkness.