Angel's POV
I walked straight to my table after closing the door. I have to complete my assignment by tonight, I pulled my chair back with noise, and that's when I noticed a movement from my right.. "oh.."
" How did it go?" Sam peeked her head from the novel she was reading " I hope the big hot Alpha didn't give you any trouble"
I thought she left "well, just asked about why the blood moons are after me, to which I still have no answer." Honestly, I wanted some time alone to think after what happened in his office. everything was not just my imagination. So I turned back to my assignment to avoid any further talk.
" is something wrong? I mean do you want to talk..." she stood up and came to sit near me.
" it's nothing... I keep thinking about my dreams. I can't seem to push them away. Something telling me like it's going to happen or something about the dream is making me feel that happened, like..."
" it's real.." she cut me off " like you are experiencing all the shit what you dream"
" yep.. sort of like that" I looked at her, she was watching me intently " no Sam, I'm not bluffing and don't give me that PTSD talk. I know because.." I trailed because I have marks on my body, should I show her? " I'm confused if it's just in my dreams I wouldn't feel the warmth and all those stuff."
" I know angel" she touched my shoulder " shh... it's ok. I can sleep here for the time being and we'll make sure all that goes away. You don't have to go through all of these alone, I'm here"
I felt so relieved. I knew Sam back in our pack, just a few talks here and here and some friendly gestures. Being Alpha's daughter everyone knew me, but I used to hang out with my friends Ellie and Mike. But now I know her more personally never have I been so grateful, she was everything I could ask for as a sibling and friend, that too a loyal one. Once everything goes back to normal I would want her to meet my mom, she will love her. Her mate is so lucky to have her. Ahh, mate.
" thank you, Sam, it means a lot to me... but I have been thinking to ask you something for a while." She nodded her head for me to continue " about Chris.. you seem to be avoiding him.."
I saw a panicked expression on her which she masked away just as it came " what about Chris..."
" no don't even try to say nothing is going on... it's not fair, you are there for me and I don't get to be there for you... so you better start talking.." I said.
She sighed " I don't know angel, it's just a lot have happened to our pack, to.. to me" she paused trying to find words "you know what happened to me right, as my mate he's eventually going to find out everything that I went through after mating. As he is beta of this pack, not any other ordinary wolf, things will be different for us.. even though not as much as what happens with an Alpha but things will be different"
She saw my confused face and said "he will experience every pain I'm having and also what I went through if ever I happened to recall them...that's what I'm afraid of... the disappointment he had when he first saw us thinking we were rogues is still imprinted in my head...it just doesn't go away, what happens when he gets to know the truth about me... he'll be more than disappointed... My wolf is scared what if they reject us after mating. nothing should happen at all or..." Sam lowered her head looking ashamed and hurt.
I was shocked, I felt like I was so self-absorbed, with everything going around I was so engulfed in my problems that I didn't notice she too needed someone, at least me. I was here right with her since the attack and I failed to see her pain. A sob escaped my lips " I'm so.. sorry, Sam I'm sorry. It was so selfish of me not to understand what you are going through"
I wiped my tears and caught her hands in mine "don't ever say that, what happened was not your fault. You are amazing Sam what happened does not define who you are. I don't think Chris will ever be disappointed he is so lucky to have you as a mate. I think he too does see this. We all have our share of the past, we can't change it, acceptance is the most difficult part. once you learn to accept it only then can you move on. Everything in our life happens for a reason we are born into this world for different reasons. We can do anything but not change our fate. Don't stay stuck in your past, once you allow It to happen, you will forever stay there. Do you understand what I'm saying"
She didn't look at me, a single tear ran down her cheek " you cannot forget what happened, but with time you will learn to accept it as I told you" I said " and I think you should give him a chance. As far as our stay here I can say Chris is a good guy."
" that's the problem here angel...he is a good guy, he deserves someone better. Someone not carrying emotional baggage like me" she wiped her tears and looked away.
" Why don't we let him decide the deserving part," I said softly " don't be a judge for someone else's feeling, give him a chance"
" no, we can't... we have no options other than...rejecting him, so he can have a -..."
" Just think, a rejection without an explanation is most painful, do you want your mate to go through such pain?" I asked.
"A rejection after mating is much worse, you can die of heartache angel. There's so much you don't know about mates" she looked at me confused " it's normal for every parent to tell their kids about mates once you are close to shifting"
I was confused too, the topic of mates was never spoken about in my house. My brothers had mates but never bought them home, I had to find out from my friends that they had mated. Even Ellie did say about her parents explaining to her and her siblings about mates, but mine never did... maybe they never told me since I can't shift, they didn't want to hurt me...that's it. How much did they try to protect me... they literally had to give up their own lives... they didn't deserve this no one did... what's it in me that's so important... I don't understand...
"I didn't mean it like that... it's just that everyone knows about mates and mating when they are about to shift or even before that... maybe your parents would have told you if not for the attack..." Sam kept her hands on my shoulder and gently squeezed "Come on, let's talk about something else... like how's your school"
" it's good, ahh I have to complete my assignment Mr John is very strict about submitting on time" I smiled at her. I kept thinking about everything she said, they did to protect me, but from what? Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I pushed my chair back.
" it's fine, I got it..." Sam pushed me down slightly and walked to the door.
I turned back to do my assignment, maths was my favourite subject but- I heard a loud gasp.
What the... "Who is it sam?" I asked getting up and walking towards the door... I stared bewildered at her " mom?"
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*Excerpt of chapter 15 in comment section...*