45. Ruminating on Old Wounds

It was as if the frost that covered the gardens had seeped into the walls of the Palace itself. There was something disconcerting about it, a quiet that hadn’t been there the night before.

For the first time in years, Sam hesitated outside the home of her best friend and the job she loved, choosing instead to extend her time with Alex in the car as they stared up at the dour looking building. 

“Is it just me…?” Alex began, trailing off uncertainly.

“It’s not just you. Something’s off.” Sam replied honestly before turning to give Alex a long, fortifying kiss. “I had a wonderful time.” Sam murmured against the redhead’s lips, not wanting Alex to doubt that for even a second.

“Me too.” Alex whispered back, swallowing thickly, “Can… uh… we… um… maybe…”

“You do know how to make a girl feel special if I can render you speechless with just a kiss.” Sam teased.

Alex’s kiss swollen lips quirked up at the edges, “You render me speechless with just a look.”

Sam’s breath faltered, so unused to such sincere compliments and displays of affection. Despite her confidence and self-assuredness, Sam hadn’t dated for years - it was something she was incredibly wary of. Ruby’s father had been an ill-advised fling when she was a rebellious teenager that had left her more than a little gun shy. There had been a few interested parties since Ruby’s birth but none were particularly long-term, most wanting something light and fun; those with long-term potential were all instantly put off at the slightest mention of her daughter.

Alex, however, was - simply put - too good to be true and after a single date, Sam had absolutely no intention of letting her get away.

Alex loved to listen to her talk about Ruby, going so far as to openly encourage it. She was cool, collected and confident when facing the unknown though always considerate to check in with Sam to make sure she felt comfortable as well.

The redhead’s steely composure, however, melted at just the hint of a smile sent her way or the quickest of winks. She, in turn, heaped praises and soft, sincere compliments on Sam to such an extent that the Chief of Staff was blushing so regularly Alex must think her complexion was predisposed to a rosy hue. 

It had been a wonderful date which had absolutely nothing to do with the location or the food. When dessert was finally being cleared away, Sam didn’t hesitate to invite Alex back to her place, not ready for their time together to end.

“Are you free tomorrow?” Sam asked, “For a second date that is?”

“Yes.” Alex replied instantly, her entire face lighting up with a broad smile.

“Good.” Sam exhaled, pressing a final kiss to the other woman’s lips before they exited the car and headed inside, separating in the atrium.

The next sign that not everything was well in the Palace was the serious atmosphere pervading through the Royal Offices. There was no laughter or banter being tossed around the open bullpen as was custom most mornings, everyone had their head down and were speaking only in quiet murmurs to one another. 

Sam’s warm smile dimmed, her lips pressing tight together in concern, intent now on finding the root of negativity that was infecting her staff as quickly as possible and nipping it in the bud. Her Lena-spidey-sense (as Kara called it for some completely unfathomable reason) was tingling, prompting her to narrow her gaze at the shut door to the Queen’s office.

“Is everything alright?” Sam inquired of Lena’s loyal secretary, bending down to ensure her voice didn’t travel to any of the curious administrators nearby.

Jess, who had been in the process of organising the Queen’s schedule for the day, paused to stare up at Sam with her usual blank-faced mask. “How so?”

“It’s just…” Sam sighed, “anything unusual? Out of the ordinary from a standard day.”

Jess considered this for a long moment, and just when Sam began to doubt she would ever get a reply, the secretary leaned forward to mutter conspiratorially, “The Queen was very punctual today.”

“Punctual?”

 “Yes. She was in the office before I arrived today,” Jess explained carefully, “and since the engagement that only ever happens when Lady Danvers is away.”

Sam’s mouth morphed into an ‘oh’ of understanding before she smiled gratefully at the woman dressed in her usual purple attire, “Thank you, Jess.” 

Sam made to leave then, reassured somewhat that if Lena’s dark mood was infecting the staff it would most likely clear up if she insisted the Queen indulge in a long lunch in Kara’s company.

“She…” Jess haltingly murmured.

Sam turned back, raising an eyebrow at the secretary, “Yes?”

Jess fiddled with a pen on her desk, eyes unable to meet Sam’s gaze when she whispered, the worry apparent in her uncertain tone, “She wasn’t smiling this morning either.”

Ah, Sam thought to herself… this may not be as quick a fix as previously thought. 

No matter, she had faith in the strength of Lena’s relationship with Kara and Lena’s developed ability to communicate. Everything would be alright, Sam assured herself.

“Okay.” Sam said with a click of her tongue, readying herself for a tougher day than planned, “I’ll go check on her.”

“I would appreciate that.” Jess replied, even as she turned back to her previous activity as if Sam had never been there.

The Chief of Staff took a moment to steel herself before knocking gently on the Queen’s door, awaiting the permission to enter before opening it and striding inside.

The Queen was standing with her back to the doorway, staring out the window, expression blank and arms folded protectively in front of her chest.

Her best friend was brooding, Sam observed. Something she hadn’t done in over a year now.

“Lena?” Sam called out, unable to keep the worry from her voice.

Instantly the Queen’s demeanour changed, arms dropping to her sides, entire face lighting up with warmth as she turned and walked over to Sam, pulling her into a comforting hug.

“Sam.” Lena exclaimed brightly before leaning back and demanding excitedly, “How was the date? Tell me everything.” 

Sam’s brow creased further and the pit of anxiety in her stomach expanded into a yawning chasm. “Lena, are you okay?”

Lena waved her hand as if to easily bat away the question. 

“Fine.” The Queen reassured as she fell into a chair, tugging Sam via their linked hands to sit in the one beside her.

Sam swallowed thickly, holding Lena’s hand tight in her own as if it was her one lifeline to her best friend. “I thought we weren’t doing that anymore?” 

Lena’s fraudulent politician smile faltered for a fraction of a second, unnoticeable to everyone bar a handful of people. “Doing what?” Lena chuckled, green eyes flickering with a poor replica of their usual warmth.

Sam waited until she had Lena’s gaze captured, “Hiding our true feelings.”

Lena’s expression dimmed, the lies falling away from her face to reveal exhaustion and despondency. Lena slumped ever so slightly back in her chair - a flash of vulnerability that she would only share with Sam, Kara and maybe Alex - as she smiled sadly at her best friend. 

“Not today, Sam.” Lena requested gently with a hint of apology. “Not today, please. Please, just tell me about your date.”

Sam studied her best friend: the shadows under her eyes and the way she had yet to let go of Sam’s hand. Lena was struggling, seeking support and comfort, not quite ready to share whatever was troubling her. Sam hesitated, wanting to push, to solve, to help but appreciative that Lena had dropped her guise almost immediately, something she would never have done before. The Queen from before would keep up the mask, would withdraw even further into herself and keep Sam at a distance.

But here she was, revealing openly her vulnerability whilst actively seeking comfort and making it clear what would help. 

She wanted her best friend to be her best friend, and Sam had no intention of ever denying her that.

“Well…” Sam sighed, settling back in her own seat and giving Lena’s hand another squeeze, “I definitely understand the Danvers’ charm now.”

Lena beamed, green eyes twinkling gratefully.

“I don’t understand.” Kara murmured, hands coiled so tightly that the delicate picture creased further along the sharp fold that had divided it for years.

“Kara-” Lena breathed, stepping quickly forward, hands reaching out for her,

Kara jerked backwards, retreating over the river of glass to keep Lena’s affection at bay. “How could you- How- Why-...” Kara spluttered, eyes stinging with tears of anger, betrayal and confusion. 

Lena’s own face was an amalgam of pain and compassion whilst her fingers curled into the edge of her dressing gown to fight back the urge to reach out again. Kara wanted her touch, wanted to be wrapped up in Lena’s arms, wanted to go back a mere minute to when the ground was still stable under her feet and Lena was pressing kisses to her jaw. 

“He shot you, Lena!” Kara bellowed, her voice cracking with the volume - not used to this expenditure of negative emotion, not here… not with Lena. “He tried to kill you.” Kara cried, arm sweeping wide as she demanded to know, “What the hell is he still doing here?”

Lena shook her head forlornly, “It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s fucking not!” Kara roared, the picture suddenly spinning off into the corner of the room with a jerk of her wrist. “You… I chose him , Lena.” Kara banged her own chest with a curled fist. “I trusted him! And now… now I find out he nearly took you from me before I even had the chance to…”

She couldn’t say it. Couldn’t bring the words forth. 

How many nights had she woken to find Lena clawing at her own chest as if to dig a bullet out?

How many nights had she pulled Lena close and whispered soothing words in her ear to try and ease the sounds of her whimpering? 

How many nights had she woken to find Lena stealthily checking her hands and the sheets for blood?

More than she could count.

Kara knew barely a fraction of Lena’s trauma, but she was astute enough to know the shooting had fractured her in a way that had never properly healed. Kara knew it wasn’t just the bullet but everything surrounding it, it was her first serious encounter with death and it had left its mark.

Kara felt tears run down her cheeks and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms protectively around herself. She focussed on breathing, trying and failing to find a steady rhythm. 

It was then that she felt cool palms cradle her cheeks and the light brush of thumbs wipe away her tears, the familiar press of Lena’s body against hers immediately easing the tension thrumming through her.

“It’s not complicated, Lena.” Kara whispered weakly, as Lena pressed a soothing kiss to her forehead.

“Yes, it is.” Lena sighed, hands trailing down from Kara’s face, her neck, her shoulders and sides - leaving a warm path - before shifting to wrap around her waist as she rested her chin on Kara’s shoulder. Kara’s arms, in turn, instinctively moved to return the embrace, holding Lena gently to her. 

“You come from a country that grew up with black and white morality.” Lena explained, voice soft in Kara’s ear. “You grew up on films where the villain does bad things and suffers the consequences. That’s not how it really works. Especially during war.” Lena paused and Kara couldn’t help but pull Lena tighter against herself as if she could retroactively shield her from the suffering of her past. “Good people can commit terrible acts just as much as bad people can be selfless. We are not one thing.” Lena let out a shaky breath as she murmured her confession, “ I’m not one thing. You would understand that if-”

“If what?” Kara interrupted, leaning away to look into guilty green eyes, “If I actually knew what happened during the war?” 

Lena ducked her head in the resemblance of a nod. 

Kara bit her tongue, holding back the accusation - they were both aware that her ignorance was down to Lena. But Kara wouldn’t fling that at the other woman. Wouldn’t hurt her like that. 

Kara had sworn herself to be a safe place for Lena always, even when she was confused and angry, even when they experienced the rare storm in their relationship. She would always be a sanctuary. Somewhere Lena could turn to for love and affection regardless of whatever argument they may have had. 

“I picked him, Lena.” Kara muttered, “Don’t you get that? I picked him .” Lena met her gaze head on and was considerate enough not to shy away from Kara’s hurt. “ You set me up to pick him.” Kara said softly, it wasn’t a question, it was a known truth. “Why would you do that? Did you think I wouldn’t care?” Kara questioned, half curious and half outraged.

For the first time, Lena’s gaze dropped to the floor and her arms around Kara loosened.

“Oh my god…” Kara breathed out in understanding, taking a half step away from her fiancée, ceasing contact between them. “You had no intention of ever telling me, did you?”

Lena’s jaw clenched, hands flexing by her sides as she lifted her chin and declared, “No.”

Kara blinked in shock, “Who else knows?” 

Lena’s expression became taut, hands moving to clasp behind her back.

The crease between Kara’s brows became a canyon as she asked in utter disbelief, “Does Sam even know?”

Lena took a deep breath, face entirely neutral,  and answered, “No.”

“Duke Oliver Queen is here for you, Your Majesty.” Jess announced, once the best friends’ shared laugh faded enough to allow a suitable lull.

“Thank you, Jess. Give us a moment.” Lena acknowledged, getting to her feet and moving round her desk to organise the few pieces of paper spread across it. 

“Oliver Queen? Why is he here?” Sam asked, stretching as she stood up, the grin that had been etched into her face for the entire time she regaled Lena with details of her date last night fading to be replaced with a curious frown.

“I requested he come and see me.” Lena replied with an easygoing shrug. 

“Why?”

“Because…” Lena sighed, lips pressed together and head tilted thoughtfully, “I want to be his friend, not just his ally.”

Sam’s eyebrows raised at that, “Did something happen at the Duke’s party last night?”

Lena considered the question, a flash of something melancholic and lost appearing and disappearing before Sam had a chance to truly identify it. “No.”

“Lena, what-“

“Sam,” Lena cut in, folding her hands on the desk in front of her, thumb of her opposite hand stroking the band of her engagement ring, “do you remember…” Lena began, voice quiet and uncertain, “do you remember when you were looking after me…”

“Which time?” Sam joked, though a twist in her stomach told her she knew exactly which time Lena was referring to.

“The first time.” Lena replied seriously.

Sam inhaled sharply, the joy of a mere moment ago fading as she remembered the woods, a horse, a curled over figure, red… so much red… 

“It’s not something I’ll ever forget.” Sam whispered harshly before shaking her head to free herself of the shadows, her tone turning tender with concern. “What about it? Are the nightmares back?”

“They never really left, they just became… infrequent.”

“Lena, you’re starting to worry me.” Sam murmured, moving to place a comforting hand on Lena’s shoulder. 

Lena stared up at her, green eyes foggy and obscure, something hidden in them that Sam hadn’t seen there for a long time. Lena blinked and it was gone, eyes clear and mouth quirking upwards on one side. “Forget I said anything.” 

“Impossible.” Sam declared fervently. 

Lena rolled her eyes fondly at that, placing her hand atop of Sam’s on her shoulder and giving it a grateful squeeze. “Give me some time. I need… time to ruminate on old wounds.”

Sam nodded in acceptance, before requesting, “Don’t lock me out again.”

“I won’t.” Lena promised.

“And don’t lock Kara out either.” Sam ordered, calling out over her shoulder as she made her exit.

“I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” Lena admitted with complete sincerity, though Sam noted the statement sounded sadder than it normally would.

“Your Majesty.” Oliver Queen greeted with an impeccable bow and a mighty sweep of his arm.

“After everything we’ve been through, you can call me Lena.” The Queen insisted, not hesitating to step forward to shake Oliver’s hand. 

“Lena.” Oliver repeated graciously; she gestured for Oliver to take a seat and make himself comfortable before reclaiming her own chair. “We’ve come a long way since the war.” Oliver remarked, looking around appreciatively at the light colours that made up the Queen’s office whilst he adjusted the cuffs of his blue suit. 

She experienced a moment then, a memory overlapping reality: Oliver skin mudstained and bloodied, gloved fingers adjusting green leather as he nodded once at her before heading into the dark of the forest to face the monsters therein. 

Lena shook away the double vision, it was going to be a day of flashbacks and tainted memories - her argument with Kara allowing old wounds to weep into the present. 

“In some ways.” Lena agreed somberly.

Oliver’s sharp eyes detected the shift in the Queen’s demeanour, recognising the siren’s call to the past better than most. “I must admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon. I hope the Ball last night was to your and Kara’s liking.”

“It was wonderful.” Lena assured earnestly, “You’ve always known how to throw a party.”

Oliver ducked his head, bashful under the genuine compliment. “The only upside of a misspent youth.”

Lena pursed her lips at the redirect, noting how Oliver shirked from praise, sidestepped it so elegantly that most would hardly notice it for it really was. In truth, Lena hadn’t noticed and probably would never have if it wasn’t for her fiancée's deep empathy. 

“Kara speaks very highly of you.” Lena insisted.

“That does me a great credit that I’m probably not worthy of.” Oliver muttered with a rueful shake of his head. “She’s incredible, you’re very lucky.”

“Oh, I know,” Lena agreed readily, “I find myself still not quite able to believe she loves me. I’ve woken many a morning and just… stared at her sleeping beside me... so afraid of the alarm going off and finding out it was little more than a dream.” Lena twisted her engagement ring round her finger, needing to feel its weight, its substance, to remind herself that she was awake, that Kara was real and not some lovely fantasy. “You’re wrong by the way.”

“About?” Oliver inquired.

“That you’re not worthy of Kara’s compliments.” Lena explained, “She wouldn’t say it unless it was true and I wholeheartedly agree with her. I’m sorry I’ve never said it, but I’m saying it now. You’re a good man.” Lena emphasised the statement by lifting her chin and making direct eye contact with the man opposite her. She wanted him to believe, wanted him to see the words as true even though she recognised he wouldn’t.

Not yet. 

She watched him shift uneasily in his seat, watched his green eyes go distant and she watched his mind working behind the scenes, inevitably listing off all the reasons why that statement wasn’t true. She knew that was what he was doing because it's what she did everytime Kara breathed love against her skin, everytime Sam wrapped an arm around her shoulder and everytime Ruby looked up at her with pride in her young eyes.

“A kind man,” Lena maintained, words firm and clear, “and you should stop punishing yourself for events you had no control over during the war and actions from teenage years that are unrecognisable as ever coming from the man you are today.”

“I…” Oliver began before trailing off and Lena could tell he had no idea how to respond, how to accept her compliments.

“You deserve to be happy, Oliver.” Lena said simply.

Oliver’s fingers curled round the edge of his knees making him look like a teenager still not sure how he fit in his ever changing skin. 

Maybe he still was, Lena thought to herself. 

How old was he when he discovered that his father wasn’t the honourable man he’d believed him to be? 

How old was he when he had to protect those citizens in the Queen region with a weapon he had been trained with at boarding school? A nobleman’s bow and a quiver of arrows.

How old was he when he lost his mother after she had finally, and proudly, stood by his side in defiance of the King?

Did age really matter in the face of all that loss and hardship?

“I’m not sure I know how to be happy anymore.” Oliver confessed.

Lena understood that feeling well. “That’s why we have friends, to find us when we get lost.”

“Friends, what a novel concept.” Oliver mused, rubbing the back of his neck as his lips twisted with something resembling amusement. “I don’t think I have any of those.”

“Neither did I - or at least I thought I didn’t - for a long time.” Lena revealed alongside a self deprecating laugh. “But I was wrong. And so are you.”

“That’s starting to become a trend.” Olived noted with an arched eyebrow. “Am I ever going to be right in this conversation?”

Lena tapped her chin in faux-deliberation, “Well,” Lena started, dragging out the word as she smirked at the Duke, “you’ve been right about the most important thing which more than makes up for the rest.”

“What was the important thing?”

“Kara being incredible.” Lena winked smugly.

“Of course.” Oliver grinned, letting out a deep chuckle that filled the room with warmth. “Happy looks good on you, by the way.”

“It looks good on everyone.” Lena shot back. “I know I haven’t acted like it but I am your friend, Oliver.” Lena asserted, “And if… if you’d feel comfortable I would like to help you…”

Oliver’s expression shuttered for a moment, frown falling back into place, “Because I’m lost?”

“Because you deserve to be happy too.” Lena corrected.

“And how do you intend to help me with that?”

Lena straightened up in her chair, shoulders pushed back and chin lifted high as she pulled on the power her Queen title gave her. “By telling you that you deserve to be loved and you deserve to fight for that love. Felicity is incredible by the way.” Lena declared, prompting Oliver to jerk back in his seat in surprise before he quickly recovered. “She might even be smarter than me, which is saying something.” Lena added conspiratorially, shooting the Duke a soft smile. 

Oliver’s eyes twinkled with pride at the compliments directed towards his love for a fleeting second before his face fell, falling back to a guilty expression.

 “I get it, you know?” Lena murmured, “I look in the mirror and am still not convinced that what’s staring back at me deserves anything good. But you need to let that go,” Lena exhaled heavily, the words serving as advice not just for the Duke but for herself too, “not just for your sake but for others too. You forcing yourself to be miserable, to be distant, only hurts those you love in the short and long term. They deserve us at our best, at our happiest and that can only happen when we open our hearts fully.”

“I-“ Oliver began and Lena could see that he wasn’t convinced, still didn’t see himself as worthy or deserving. 

“I’m not forcing you to be with her or to do anything.” Lena interrupted. She knew this would be a journey rather than a simple task, it hadn’t been quick and easy with herself either (in fact, it was still ongoing). “I’m just saying that if… if you are stopping yourself from being happy, know that I would do everything in my power afforded by my good reputation to help you.”

Oliver’s mouth dropped open in surprise before snapping shut, “I understand.”

“Take some time to think about it and know that I am here if you want someone to talk to.” Lena requested, getting to her feet at the same time as the Duke. Their meeting had been short but Lena hoped it was just the start, she wanted Oliver to have some room to breathe and consider what she had put forward. “About this or something else entirely,” Lena offered sincerely, mouth curling into a teasing smirk, “like how the Skylarks are going to sweep the floor with your precious Comets this weekend.”

Oliver groaned, dramatically rolling his eyes, “In your dreams.”

Lena snorted in disagreement even as she stepped round the desk and (before she had a chance to reconsider her next action) opened her arms to give the Duke a hug. The Duke hesitated for a second, taken aback by the gesture but not unwilling. Oliver’s hug reminded Lena of Alex, supportive and strong but unbelievably soft - a hard exterior easily cracked open to reveal the gooey centre around those they cared for.

 “Thank you.” Oliver murmured gratefully.

“You’re welcome.”

Lena glanced at the clock, it was well past her normal working hours; by now she would be plating up dinner as Kara pressed kisses to the back of her neck, arms wrapped around her waist whilst listening to the events of her day. She was avoiding going back to the kitchen, uncertain what she would find considering Kara didn’t visit her at lunchtime as was their custom most days. 

Lena rubbed her eyes, slumping down in her chair before turning off her computer and mentally preparing herself for a conversation she didn’t think she would ever be ready for.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see Kara - even on their worst days being with Kara was far superior to being without her - it was just... she didn’t know what to say . 

Didn’t have the words. 

She had intended to tell Kara all about her life: about growing up in a less than welcome house, about watching her brother disappear into darkness as she grew older, about a war that took and took and took, and about the days where peace was so fragile she feared a single errant breath would destroy it. 

She planned to tell Kara about it all; had even started to collect and order the words that she thought would never come. 

She planned to share the darkest parts of her soul.

She planned to share everything… except for her shooter’s identity. 

One thing. One secret.

And to have that torn away... to have the words that had been buried deep within her to be ripped out without her consent left her speechless. 

She didn’t know what to say to the love of her life. And she hated that.  

Being with Kara was easy , silences were comfortable and conversation gentle, therefore to have this stilted broken communication between them was like a physical wound.

“Are you ready to talk about it yet?”

Lena lifted her head, half expecting the question to have come from Kara finally seeking her out, only to find her best friend lingering anxiously in the doorway.

Lena exhaled deeply, spinning her chair one way then the other, needing the comforting motion, “Do you know why I never spent much time with Oliver even though I really liked him?”

If Sam was annoyed or surprised by the change of topic, she didn’t show it. Instead, she shut the door behind herself and walked around Lena’s desk so they were on the same side before offering up, “Scruffy beards upset you on principle?”

“That is true, but no.” 

Sam tilted her head to the side but said nothing more, inviting Lena to continue.

Lena shrugged helplessly and stated, “He’s me.”

Sam’s brow furrowed immediately, hazel eyes turning sharp and curious, “What do you mean?”

“Oliver reminds me of me.” Lena explained, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. “We both had luxurious childhoods marred by disappointing parental figures. The war was our crucible and we came through darker and more twisted than to begin with. We have similar mindsets and values. He’s me except for one fundamental difference.”

“Tits?” Sam offered up earning a genuine bark of laughter from the Queen and an amused shake of the head. Her best friend grinned at the reaction, achieving the necessary alleviation in tension that she had been aiming for.

“You.” Lena revealed, expression softening as she stared up at her Chief of Staff.

Sam frowned at that, “I don’t follow.”

“Oliver is the me I would have become if I’d never met you.” Lena asserted. “He’s the me that never had a Sam. He’s lonely and sad and genuinely believes that he deserves to be. I would be much the same if it wasn’t for you.” Lena shook her head sadly, “He’s in love with a bright, wonderful young woman that he doesn’t think he’s worthy of and as such is letting her go without even trying. If it hadn’t been for you… I wouldn’t be with Kara, I would have let her go and shattered my heart and hers.”

Sam reached out immediately for Lena’s free hand, gripping it tightly, “You still would have ended up with Kara without me being around.”

“No, I don’t think I would have.” Lena replied honestly, “Even if I had been brave enough to start something, I wouldn’t have been… good for Kara. It’s because of you that I was able to give Kara the best version of myself. You looking after me for those months showed me what genuine love, affection and support was. I needed that. I know you hate how we met but I’m grateful for it.” Lena raised her head, freeing her hand to tap the centre of her chest, “This bullet wound was one of the best things that ever happened to me because it led me to you and Ruby.”

Sam’s face hardened at that, jaw clenching and nostrils flaring with rage that she worked hard to hold back. “I disagree,” Sam declared coldly, and Lena’s gaze immediately dropped to the floor, her stomach sinking along with it, “and if I ever get my hands on who did that to you…” Sam exhaled slowly, air escaping in a hiss like venting steam. “We always would have found each other, Lena,” Sam breathed, voice steady and tone warmer, “and I would always have been there to make sure you didn’t miss out on Kara.”

“How can you be so sure?” Lena prompted, quiet and insecure.

“Because we’re family.” Sam declared, dropping to her knees and pulling Lena into a tight, all consuming hug. “And family always finds each other, it’s written into the laws of the universe.” Sam promised, “I’m afraid you were always going to end up stuck with me.”

“I’m okay with that.” Lena breathed out shakily, burying her face into Sam’s comforting shoulder.

“Me too.”