About House Cleaning – Part 1

Ever since humanity created the concept of house… No wait, that is wrong…

Ever since the concept of house has reached humanity? Ever since humanity has houses? Yeah, let's go with that one.

So ever since what I said, humanity found itself in the need to perform a sacred ritual called "cleaning".

Some do it for hygiene's sake.

Some do it for appearance's sake.

Me? I don't like feeling things under my feet. Sand is such a pain. It is hard. It is coarse. And it gets… everywhere.

That being the case, I usually only perform "cleaning" in such a way that my house appears healthy and mostly spotless. I wouldn't even go that far normally but hearing Yakatarina mention how some of my books were dusty once was enough to make me go the extra mile just to avoid that.

Anyway, this kind of "cleaning" is fine but it has its limits. One day, you will have to perform another more powerful ritual: the "greater cleansing".

*ding dong*

The name is… Dawn Riftwalker. That one age. That one class. That one school. Discovering my mind is against the concept of duty and responsibilities.

"I feel tired already…"

Those were my first words when I woke up that day. The reason? First, I was really tired. Second, the sentence "I need to clean" was passing through my skull.

You see, I promised myself almost three days ago, when we went back from that beach, that I would perform the greater… well, that I would clean my house thoroughly. 

I planned to do that the following day but when it came I thought: "We are only Monday. I have the whole week off, can't I do that later?"

And just like that I didn't do anything.

The next day came and I thought: "Urgh… My body is still stiff from the beach trip for some reason. What the hell happened there to make me like this? Anyway… I still have time before school starts. Let's do the cleaning later."

And just like that, a whole do would've gone by if I didn't get a certain call from my "sister-in-law".

"Greetings Riftwalker. Am I disturbing you?"

"Ah, Iovanna? I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?!"

"I am fine but… Why such cheerfulness? We saw each other less than a week ago."

"Ah…"

I covered my mouth with my hand. Indeed, we saw each other recently but I felt as if it was ages ago. Worse still, I smiled more than any of my family members called me recently. Though it might've to do with the fact I rarely have friends calling me.

"No matter," she said before coughing for a little while. 

"... I know I will look silly for asking but, are you sick or something?"

"Ahem… My apologies. Thank you for your concern but I am not exactly sick. Huh, Riftwalker, have you ever been to a restaurant?"

"Huh?" 

What a strange question, I thought. Was that a roundabout way to ask me for something?

"Did someone ask you out on dinner?"

"Ask me out on dinner? What a strange way to put it…"

She seemed to ponder on the phone for a little while before replying.

"Snakes but… No, I do not think so…"

"..."

It seems she was talking to herself again.

"If nobody asked you, why do you want to know about it now? Don't tell me you wanted to invite me?"

"As expected of the one who beheaded the Archduchess of Benevolence! You understand so quickly!"

"... So, you want to invite me?"

"Indeed."

A sudden invitation from the sister of the girl I am in love with. What a predicament.

"Oh, no. I bear no ill intent I assure you. From what I understand, it seems sister and you finally got together and I wouldn't want to trouble your relationship. I was planning to invite all of our classmates to a little excursion to Kuwa in the Drachm Kingdom. You know, the city of Winds and Sand. It is a great tourist destination in the Drachm Kingdom – a millennial city built on the ruins of an ancient machine whose purpose is unknown to this day. There is also the Millennial Labyrinth from which no one ever returned and the abandoned crystal mines theater of much horror about thirty years ago. All of them are fine places but Kuwa is also renowned for its exceptional spicy culinary tradition! Ahem, I want to see it for myself before resuming my duties as an examinator but I would like you to accompany me to take notes. Does that not suit you?"

I could feel the passion in her voice. She was clearly trying to contain her excitement when thinking about those places whose names I never heard. I didn't even know where that Drachm Kingdom was so I simply replied by asking about something that was familiar to me.

"You are off duty? I thought that upperclassmen didn't have the week off."

"They do not. Currently, they are training to kill angels."

"An… gels…"

"Ah, I seldom forget that you only moved to Arca recently. Did they not explain it to you? Why we have a week off to clarify."

"Er, we were told it was because of a certain ritual, no?"

"Precisely. The floating city Ganymede will appear in the sky anywhere from tomorrow to Sunday. When it will, beings known as angels might fall from there and attack people on sight."

"Huh?!"

"Do not worry. You should be safe as long as you do not enter some areas."

"Wait, wait, wait! Angels? Attacking people?"

I wasn't the greatest believer but this seemed a bit out of place for me. Seeming to catch up on my confusion, Iovanna wrapped the subject as quickly as she could 

"You should read a book about Arca's history or ask Atols to explain that specific historic point since it has a lot to do with her family. Either way, I want you to come with me the day after tomorrow. It is important."

"You are not really asking me anymore there…"

I wasn't really in the mood to take another trip after the beach one. To visit ruins and visit morbid mines no less. At least the spicy food part seemed interesting but, really, going out wasn't something I wished to do.

"*mew*"

"Oh, Mylord. Are you hungry?" I mumbled as my cat sat in front of me and mewed. 

Because he had the guts to ask me for food so boldly while not even letting me pet him, I decided I was his servant and named him Mylord. Quite fitting if you ask me.

"My lord? Strange name for a cat," commented Iovanna who probably heard all the scenes on the phone. 

"I don't think so… Erm, Iovanna, I am not sure I can go with you. My cat just started not running away and I have to take care of him."

"Oh, you can come with him. Cats are venerated in the Kuwa and Drachm as a whole. Diseases… Hum, you might even get a few advantages with one."

"Seriously?"

"I am serious."

Roundabout refusal one: failure.

"But… I kinda feel tired from my last trip. I don't know what happened but I have been having sore muscles and cramps lately. I am not sure I can handle exploration and stuff like that…"

"It is fine. You can stay at the hotel if so you wish. I can even pay a chiropractor to attend to you."

"Wha…"

Roundabout refusal two: failure.

"But… Ah! The trip will last from the day after tomorrow to the last of the week, correct, right?"

"Holes… I mean, this is what I planned, yes."

"Sorry, I have to clean my house before the end of the week! It will take some time and I am not sure I can be free for the day after tomorrow. I wouldn't want my classmates to wait for me when they are so excited about the trip (well, I suppose they are). Sorry, I don't think I can make it."

"Cleaning? What is that?"

"Huh?"

"Ah… No, apologies. I meant to say: does it have to be this week?"

"I am pretty sure I won't do it unless I have time on a weekday so yeah, kinda…"

"Then how about I send cleaners to your house? I believe they can clean everything way better than you do. Besides, this option seems more appropriate since your body is sore, do you not think so?"

"Flawless…"

"Excuse me?"

I was beaten. How could I reply to that? If I said I preferred doing it myself then I would literally contradict myself. I mean, I did tell her my body was sore. There was no reasonable reason for me to refuse her help there except the cold: "I just don't want to."

There was a time when telling her that was not difficult to me but then, it was strangely hard. Besides, I wasn't lying about my body being really sore so refusing her help would not only hurt her, but me. However…

"Sorry, but I can't accept it. Iovanna, you can't just resolve everything with money, you know? Besides, I don't feel like letting strangers into my house, especially since I have a rather special basement."

"Is… that so? I see… I understand…"

She sounded somewhat disappointed, which put a rock in my stomach.

"W-Well, you will go with the others, won't you? You will be fine even if I am not here."

"There are not that many that agreed. Some already had things to do while others simply do not trust me because of my eyes. *sigh*"

"Yeah…"

Aaaaargh!!! No! Not the guilt trip! IT.WON'T.WORK!!!

"No matter. I will find a solution. Good day, Riftwalker."

"Uh, yes…"

And just like that she hung up. 

Sure, I felt guilty but on the other hand, I really couldn't take another trip both mentally and physically. Besides, I didn't want to leave Yakatarina after what happened recently – there was too much to try on her for me to go on a trip. 

That being said, I remembered that she asked me to not approach any vampire beside her. It didn't strike me then but what was that? A display of jealousy?

"Ah…"

I realized I just wasted an opportunity to verify her feelings on the matter. Seeing Yakatarina jealous was probably worth exploring the most boring ruins in the world and I wasted the opportunity.

I turned around and took one of my pillows to perform another important ritual…

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhh!!!"

… The pillow screaming.

"Roundabout refusal three… success… ah… sadness…"

***

"Yakatarina, Yakatarina," I called.

We were sitting together on my bed, looking at another horror movie. Well, I was using her lap as another pillow.

"*crunch* Yesh? *crunch**crunch*"

I looked up to the strange bucket she was holding. Well, it was only strange because she was holding it in the first place.

"... Huh, can you eat them? Popcorn I mean…"

"*crunch**gulp* Confusion. Why would you ask that to me when you are seeing me in action?"

"But… I thought you couldn't eat anything but blood…"

"Misunderstanding. There is a misunderstanding. While they have the same taste as paper, I can still eat them."

Uwah…

"... Such a harsh way to say I don't know how to make popcorn…" I replied. I wasn't especially angry but it still stung a bit.

Yakatarina stayed calm and took another bite. It was obvious she wasn't used to eating popcorn and the like given the loud crunching sounds she was making with each bite.

"You don't have to eat them, you know?"

"*crunch**crunch**gulp* You made them so I might as well try them. Here."

She took a few popcorn with her fingers and presented my mouth with them. Without thinking, I opened it and let her feed me and it was only afterward that the casualty of the scene hit me like a train.

"Mm? What is wrong? You are red all of sudden," she asked, nonchalantly.

"You… You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I asked, covering my face.

"Obviousness! When people do something consciously one can say they do it on purpose, can't they?! Here, another one."

"Could you please NOT do it again so nonchalantly?! Those things need proper preparation first!'

She tilted her head in confusion.

"Question. If those kind of things need preparation, can I ask you to stop using me as your personal pill—"

"Give me that popcorn."

"... Mystery. Surely you can find a better pillow than this body of mine, can't you?"

I shook my head, "You don't understand, little Yakatarina! Your body is the quintessential pillow I have been looking for in my whole life! There is nothing better than it!"

Normally, that would have been sufficient to confuse her for a while but it seemed the vampire girl developed some sort of resistance to my words.

"Oh, coincidence!" she said , smiling. "I was thinking the same about your body!"

"... Huh?"

"Excuse me for a second."

Handling me as if I was as light as a pillow, Yakatarina placed me just before her and held me from behind.

"... What are you doing?" I asked.

"Watching the movie."

"That isn't my question?!!"

"Normally I would comment about you yelling but… Dawn, could it be you are one of those who only gets cocky when things go their way?"

I clearly didn't like where this was going. Her chin resting on my shoulder, the vampire girl was making a scary smile while the lights were reflected by her glasses.

"I… I don't know about that…" I replied. "F-Fine, you can do this only for now but I won't always be so nice, okay?!"

"So? What did you think about the popcorn?"

"What is with the tangent?!!"

I took a deep breath and calmed down. Maybe I really was one of those that act all high and mighty when they have the advantage. I now realized that the only reason she let me use her as a pillow before was just so she could turn the tide like this. It was only a theory at that point but it was far from impossible in my mind. Either way, it didn't change the fact that I could still change the situation if I needed to so I just had to keep my calm.

"... Yakatarina?"

"So? How was the popcorn?"

"You sure have some one-track mind, don't you?! More importantly, you can't press yourself against me like that! I can feel them!"

"I heard that you chose not to go with your class on a trip to Kuwa? Was it because of the trip we took last week?"

"You know, I keep wondering about where exactly you 'hear' those things about me. You aren't stalking me, are you?"

"Negative! I just keep myself informed of your movements, calls and your browser history. The usual things between friends, nowadays!"

"WHICH NOWADAYS IS THAT?!! THAT IS STALKING!!!"

"More importantly—"

"Are you saying that the fact that you are blatantly stalking me is not important?!!"

"More importantly, if you have nothing to do the day after tomorrow, what about coming to my house?"

"... Pardon?"

She nodded, adjusting her glasses, "Obviousness. I will help you clean your house if necessary! Back on the planet Ariel, they called me Katrina the Cleanser member of the Cleanists Order!"

"... Pardon???"

"We even had laser brooms but servants of Ajax and Vanish attacked us and broke the order in the cleaning force. I had to flee on the planet Sani—"

"Are you doing this to distract myself from the fact you are pressing your chest against me? No, I am asking because it is not working so…"

"Ah, that? Negative. I had rather you realize I am doing it."

"Eh…?"

At some point Dawn Riftwalker thought she turned the tables on the vampire girl. Thoughts are fleeting just like life reddening my cheeks. All is in vain.

"Now then."

She suddenly got up and put her hands on her hips. 

"I have cleaning material to prepare! If you would excuse me!"

With unusual haste, Yakatarina stormed out of the room. Before I had the time to realize it, she was already outside.

"What… just happened?"

***

The next day, well, a few hours later…

*ding dong*

There was someone on my door.

"I feel tired already…"

The hypothetical cleaning, the fact that I needed to go down and open the door. Ah, such a pain. Why, I wasn't feeling like dying so it was fine but what waited for me behind the door was a sight to behold.

"Hello good morning, Dawn! I came to help you clean your house!"

"Yakatarina?"

In front of my door was Yakatarina in a casual outfit wearing a mask, gloves and an apron. She looked like some cleaning professional ready to take on any stains in the bathroom… or some cleaning try hardist I don't know. However what surprised me the most was the one next to her.

"Greetings, Riftwalker. I, Iovanna Domenica and so on—"

"Wait! You can't just 'and so on' your own name!"

"You seem pretty lively this morning," she said.

"Perfect! this is exactly what we need because…"

Iovanna pulled a bottle of cleaning out of her bag and raised it above her heads while Yakatarina clenched her first overly dramatically.

"IT IS CLEANING TIME!!!" they yelled.

"... Do that again I am sending you two home."