13: Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems

So, Struan and I did go rob a bank. Several banks, actually.

I wish there was more I could tell you, but it was actually very uneventful. Struan made us undetectable, we phased in, we loaded up a nearly bottomless sack I created based on the gaming inventory concept, and we left the same way we came in leaving everyone none the wiser.

The hardest part was picking out which bank to rob and then getting there.

However, the most surprising thing was that… banks… don't keep much money in them. At first, I figured this would be a one and done sort of deal… but we ended up robbing eight banks before we had enough money, for a grand total of $650,000, with $50,000 being extra.

Then, this led to a few problems that Struan brought up: Banks have a deposit limit before reporting to the government, one that we would vastly exceed… nor do we have checking accounts to pay the tuition with, as almost all money transfers have become electronic.

So, how would we pay the academy?

Hence, I decide that if money caused this problem, then we simply must not have enough of it.

"About a hundred times the tuition for one person should do the trick, right Struan?"

"What… trick?"

"Mo' money, mo' problems. Even more money? No problems."

"I don't think that's how things work…"

"Well, you still want to go to the academy, right?"

"Of course."

"So, let's hit one more place!"

"B—"

"Nope! No complaining! You lost your right to that when you convinced Susan to give you a lower grade."

"I had no idea that Grade S's and above automatically qualify for a scholarship!"

I shrug. "Shoulda thought of that earlier. Who else would get a scholarship if not for the 'S' grades?"

"..." He looks at me for a moment until he thinks of another complaint. "One bank won't make enough of a difference — much less for a hundred times more!"

"Who said it would be a bank?"

Struan eyes me suspiciously. "This isn't going to kill a bunch of people, is it?"

"No! I stay true to my word! I'm a bit insulted that you even insinuated I'd go against it! We didn't kill anyone with the banks!"

"Okaaay… If you say so."

"Waaah… Why do you doubt me so much, Struan!?" I whine.

"I don't… But I wouldn't put it past you to add some sort of 'trick' to it."

"Eh? That's a you thing though…"

Before he can find something else to complain about, my torso stretches out, making me look like a human noodle or a generally hairless, human dachshund — whichever you prefer.

Soon, my eyes turn crimson and my pupils change into slits. My fingers grow long and knobbly and form thick, curved claws as red as my eyes. Bones burst out of my back, quickly wrapped in muscle but not yet having the red membrane to complete my wings; though that soon grows over. Lastly, black scales glimmer down my body with a healthy sheen, and I fully complete the rest of my transformation into a dragon.

"Oh… Urgh… Huurk…! Do you have to do it that way?" Struan comments as he watches the changes in my body.

[For you, yes! Hehehe!]

I feel a palm-sized sizzle on my scales as Struan puts his hand on my flank, soon followed by another. Searing pain climbs up my body as Struan makes his way to the base of my neck. I flick my red-spined tail in irritation. My pain tolerance is high enough, and my body is large enough, that it feels more like minor pinpricks, but that doesn't mean I like it.

[That wasn't necessary, either!]

"For you, yes! Tee-hee-hee!"

[That sounded so fake.]

"It was."

[Did you pose with your hand under your chin while you said that?]

"You know I did."

***** ***** *****

Finally landing, we walk for a few minutes, still under the shroud of Struan's undetectability.

Struan looks up at the large lettering adorning the building.

"The National Mint?" Struan asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! The one-stop shop!"

"Ama, that wou—"

"Nuh-uh-uh! No complaining!"

"I'm n—"

"Shhhh…" I put my finger on his lips.

He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes at me. "Fine. Have it your way."

Inside, I dash around, pulling him by the hand like a child in a toy store. I have no intention of letting go, as then his abilities won't affect me. Personally, I don't care too much, but my word is my word. If I let go, we may have a wee bit of a problem to resolve that will end in taking many lives.

I stick my face through the various metal containers and peek over others, but all I can find are coins, coins, and… guess what??

More coins!!!

I don't need any more spare change! Especially not by the truckload!

Where's the cash!?

Don't tell me there's none here!

Wait a minute…

"Why didn't you te— … You did try to tell me, didn't you?"

"I did." He smirks, taking every chance he gets to gloat in me being wrong.

"... Right… Sooo… Where do we need to go then?" I say; my tone is a bit more subdued than usual.

He pulls up his phone and taps away at it for a bit. Then, he turns the screen to me, showing me a map.

'National Print.'

"Ah," I say.

"Mhm. You were close, but just not quite right."

***** ***** *****

And so, after robbing the National Print for a hefty sum, we are now chilling on the roof of some skyscraper in the next city over — $30 million richer.

"Well? Will you actually explain what you wanted thirty million for??" Struan asks, his voice eager, yet skeptical.