Chapter 41: Welcome To The Bone Zone!

I sat on top of a pile of rubble, perfectly imitating the thinker statue as I pondered on the things I would need to take on the catacombs.

Now I _could_ just go in combustions blazing but it can't be that simple.

This is Lordran, confidence means suffering here. I want to be prepared lest I get ganged by a horde of skeletons. My stamina and focus are limited, but the revivals of skeletons aren't. So a divine weapon is a must.

I also need a pretty magic-resistant shield for the floating red skull grenades. I don't have confidence in tanking those while dealing with skeletons.

Light sources are not a problem. I have enough experience in pyromancy to make up a spell that makes me a floating candle that follows me. I would like to prepare more if possible but time is of the essence so I can't go to Andre and spend hours acquiring a divine weapon lest my miracle bank gets murked.

*Sigh* I hate sidequests with time limits.

My best bet for the holy weapon is the Drake Valley if I remember correctly(Please do not fail me brain) There should be an Astora straight sword and a crest shield there. While the shield is not ideal, it is still a quality shield with decent magic resistance.

The only caveat is that I have to fight an undead dragon for these. I mean it shouldn't be too hard, after all, he is immobile, right?

...

I just _had_ to jinx it didn't I?

But I can't be at fault for expecting the top half of a dragon to be stationary right!?

And why can that same dragon half which doesn't have a stomach can spit out a solid stream of concentrated poison!? Where the fuck did the

poison come from!?

I mean I killed it! I did! That's what matters!

It _diiid_ take 8 estus and 16 purple mosses as well as an empty focus tank but I killed it in the end. But it took a solid half an hour to do so. Still, I got the sword and shield which is what I came here for.

What sucked was that I didn't have a supply of twinkling titanite to upgrade them which meant I had to do this undergeared plebian syle. Regardless I made my way back to Firelink via bonedust and headed down to the graveyard.

And unlike last time, I absolutely demolished everything in my path in one blow with just my hands. I didn't even use any weapons. I admit, it's kinda petty but after the shit they put me through a few months ago this revenge feels sweeter than candy.

After looking around for a while I found a staircase leading down into the catacombs. After heading down for a while I found a staircase with two bonemen standing on top of it. The moment they noticed me they went into fight mode.

*Roll* *Roll*

And one of them started... rolling upward!? How come I can't do that even with my acrobatics skill!? I think he was supposed to bump into me to break my posture and then lay into me with his blade but he didn't get the chance to do so as I sprinted forward and soccer kicked the skeleton down the hole like the ball he was.

*Punt!* *Stab*

The second one just charged me like a normal boring skeleton to which I responded by closing the distance and stabbing it through the eye socket. Killing it for good. But just as I did that I suddenly got a chill up my spine.

*BOOOOM!!!*

''F#k! Sh$t! Fu*k!''

One of those skull fuckers exploded from behind and sent me ragdolling down the staircase. Those fuckers pack a mean punch and due to them being magic my armor's effectiveness was significantly reduced against them. But it seemed like I had done something to god recently for it to spite as guess where I landed.

That's right in front of another floating skull.

''Fu-

*BOOOOOOOM!*

[YOU DIED]

...

/Y-

Shut it.

I am not mad. Shut up, I am calm, I am reasonable. I didn't get comboed to death, I am the chosen undead after all. Haha.

But well if the world _really_ wants me to go in pyromancies blazing then who am I to deny its request?

I made my way back to the catacombs while releasing great combustions to any skeleton in the graveyard who thought it would be smart to get in my way with my current mood. By the time I reached the catacombs, I had obliterated a good section of the graveyard due to my lack of self-restraint thanks to my foul mood.

The moment I entered the catacombs I rushed forward and swiftly obliterated the two skeletons using my holy blade. And I turned around just in time to glare at the floating skull.

''So you like to go boom huh? THEN GO BOOM!''

'{Maximum Great Combustion}!'

*BOOOOOM!!*

Safe to say I completely erased the skull along with any of its dammed pals in the vicinity.

I continued blasting my way down the staircase. Any skeleton I saw would be ripped apart from my blade, blunt damage be dammed. And anything even remotely resembling a floating skull would be combusted to ash.

After going down the staircase and ladder I arrived at yet another room with skeletors which I cleaved apart. The room next to this had the fucker that actually raised these bastards and forced me to use an unupgraded holy sword instead of my usual loadout.

*Boom!*

The bastard actually had the gall to use pyromancy against me. To assert my dominance over the lesser fire user I stood still and took the hit without flinching. To prove said point even further I incinerated him and his lackeys with a great fireball.

After lighting the bonfire and checking that my estus flasks were full I continued onto the surprisingly beautiful outdoor area of the catacombs.

You know the catacombs experience I ain't all that bad honestly.

Except for the skulls.

Those have a special place for them in Izalith.

The average boner doesn't have the strength, weight, or skills to pose that much of a threat against me thanks to my quality armor. Necromancers are slightly more troublesome due to the fact that even though the fireballs cannot do any significant damage to me they can still stagger me when I get caught off guard.

Finding the levers was also quite frustrating. This place was quite annoying to traverse though I was used to that thanks to the very pleasant experiences I had rolling down in the absolute maze that was the depths.

I didn't forget to loot everything though, I never do. There really wasn't much notable loot though. However, there was a titanite demon who attacked me.

Normally they would be quite tough opponents, you know being made out of titanite and all that, but I had a special weapon up my sleeve.

My newest and third favorite weapon: The Dragon King Greataxe.

It's heavy, it's durable, and most of all it is powerful. But that wasn't all, when you insert some juice into it(focus) you can unleash what I call a, for the lack of a better word, a 'fuck you'.

Because that is precisely what it does to anything that gets hit by that attack. Thus the name. When you infuse it with focus you can charge the weapon up to release a devastating attack. So strong that hitting something with it makes my arms ache like hell. And I have 30 resistance and endurance.

And using that attack I shattered the titanite demon into titanite shards.

After defeating the statue and looting his remains I stared at the inconspicuous half-open coffin next to me, contemplating. Then sighed deeply and lowered myself onto the coffin. After a bit of wriggling, I got comfortable

'*Sigh* The shit I do for items and skills.'

''Oh man, this coffin sure is comfortable! It sure would be such a shame if some skeletons closed this coffin and carried me all the way to Nito!''

After a while, some skeletons came over and closed the lid of the coffin while somehow looking annoyed and exasperated even though they were skeletons. The ride was kinda nice to be honest. These skeletons were very skilled coffin carriers.

*Thud* *Creak*

I slowly got out of the coffin after I was put down and retrieved my pillow back into my inventory. And the moment I did so I noticed the eerie atmosphere. The air was completely stale, dead. No wind, and no smell it was also completely quiet here so much so that the only sounds I could hear were water dripping and my own breath.

I wandered around the cave for a while before finding /it/.

The moment I saw it the blood in my veins felt like they froze.

Nestled in a gigantic coffin was a monstrous being made up of tens of skeletons bundled and fused together forming a giant deformed skeleton. The being was over 5 meters wearing a cloak seemingly weaved from the void itself holding a blade made out of skeletons. Normally, that wouldn't faze John.

But the moment he saw the figure all of his senses screamed at him to turn around, to run away. Just the sight of Nito made his well-developed senses and instincts scream at him that the thing in front of him was certain death.

He couldn't move.

His whole body felt like a solid chunk of ice, like every wisp of warmth was sapped from his being just by seeing Nito. He was barely keeping himself from shaking. Normally any other undead would probably be less terrified but the moment John saw Nito it was like his soul vision was activated by his own.

The pressure suffocated him. Wringing every drop of air from his lungs. He was looking at death personified. Weakened or not this was a bonafide god.

[Join covenant ''Gravelord Servants' ?]

'...Yes...'

The moment I did I felt the pressure recede slightly, allowing me to catch my breath.

< You have acquired [Gravelord Sword Dance lv.1] and [Gravelord Sword]>

I quickly offered my 30 eyes of death that I got from drastically reducing the basilisk population of the depths.

< [Gravelord Sword Dance lv.1] -> [Gravelord Greatsword Dance lv.1] >

The moment I got the message I hopped into the coffin and knocked myself out using my reinforced club.

...

After waking up I hopped out of the coffin and left a large soul of a nameless soldier as a tip for my cab(or coffin) drivers(or carriers) and sped off to the rest of the catacombs.

I will repress that memory until I have a need for it.

...

The rest of the catacombs was smooth sailing after I repressed what happened prior to the very depths of my memory trench. I also killed a black knight rather easily and got his axe but it really wasn't much compared to the dragon king's axe.

Now I was just chilling at the bonfire across from my new funky skeleton pal Vamos. He may not have wanted to be friends with me but I didn't really ask for his consent on that matter.

After checking and doing some maintenance on my equipment I set off for Pinwheel's arena. Now, I admit, I nearly pissed my pants when I first heard the distant sounds of bones trouseling and wheels spinning when I stepped into the clearing.

I didn't really have the most pleasant experience with wheel skeletons like most others I imagine, so when I heard that distinct noise it awakened some bad memories of getting stun locked by those bastards regardless of my level or poise.

To them, the only thing that mattered was that you were standing in their way, statistics be dammed. I must have died at least 30 times to those bastards while trying to reach pinwheel in my previous life. So many damn souls lost forever.

Thankfully they weren't as lethal in real life so I was able to take out over 30 deaths and many souls worth of frustrations out on them without fearing for my very existence getting deleted from their stun-locking powers.

After quickly ripping the loathsome wheels apart I hopped down to Pinwheel's arena which was coincidentally shaped like a coffin. Maybe I came at the wrong time though since Pinwheel was working on something.

For a moment, the thought of excusing myself and leaving crossed my mind before I remembered that I came here to kill him. I crouched down and pounced on Pinwheel before he could even turn around.

'{Bullet Dash}!' *Boom!* *Whooosh!*

Combustion created an explosion beneath my feet as I used that to accelerate toward Pinwheel at breakneck speeds. He was barely able to turn around and face me just in time to see my Dragon King Greataxe slamming into his face.

*Crunch!*

The axe hit and absolutely obliterated him.

< You have slain {Pinwheel} +15,000souls +Rite of Kindling >

I stood for there for an actual minute just looking at Pinwheel's corpse in disbelief. I knew he was weak but this?

...Maybe I should have waited for him after all.

[VICTORY ACHIEVED]

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