Chapter Two: The Old Man Returns Home

I sincerely had a morbid curiosity of knowing how it feels to die. The meds I had taken before had reduced the pain and had me so sleepy I did not feel a thing. I thought that I had just gone to sleep. What would I see? Was something after dead? Would I arrive to a hell full of all the people I had killed or cheated? I would se my loved ones? Would I just cease to exist and become one with the Oblivion? Well, to start, I am surprised to be able to even make these questions since it is an evidence that I am somehow conscious still. What is more, there is warm and cozy feeling all around me as if I were in a confortable bed. If something is negative is this annoying feeling in my face tht reminds me of sunlight falling directly on my face.. I know perfectly there is no such thing as sunlight since it disappeared with the Red Sky. Anyway, I tried to protect my face by pulling my blankets up… wait blankets? I let my my hands touch the soft blankets and I started to smell something very nice. This smell brings me nice memories which fill me with nostalgia.

- "Process terminated"- said the voice frm the black pulsating Stone- "we bid you good luck"

I opened my eyes in surprised and I observe my surroundings. This is a room I know very well, but I simply do not understand why I am here. I heard some birds outside the well illuminated room. There were no birds in the new world and this level of illumination is nonexistent even with the best equipment. Is this some kind of cruel prank?

I passed my hand over my hair and face to completely wake up but then I noticed something strange. I looked at my hand I can't help but get alarmed since it is extremely small. I ran to the mirror after getting up from the bed and the reflection that look at me is the one of a small child with light bronze skin with shiny eyes full of life and curiosity.

- "What is this"- I asked as I examined this small body in shock and heard the young voice that came out of my mouth- "A dream? A cruel delirium experienced before my death? Otherwise, why would I be in the days of my childhood when everything was so warm, kind and peaceful? A world without suffering, pain or hunger… a world when she still exists…"

And as if I had summoned her by that thought, the door opened and I saw the person I wanted to see the most ever since I lost her.

- "Cristian, are you awake?" – asked the sweetest voice from the kindest and most caring person in the world mentioning a name I had not used in decades and that was almost forgotten- "You'd better start changing or you'll be late for school"

She was younger and stronger than the last time I had seen her, but she was still the most beautiful woman ever. Maybe it was due to the surprise, or the guilt, or it was simply the need of a child for safety, but I simply ran to her and threw myself into her arms bursting into tears.

- "Mom!"- I said articulating words under my sobbing- "I'm so… so … sorry…"

Before the world ended, I had been extremely stupid and naive. I had been blessed with a healthy and strong body and mind which I only used in my school days as a member of the basketball team, and during college as a top ranking student. However, once I graduated I just neglected them and took bad decision after bad decision which in the end brought a life full of ruin and regret. And by doing so I had betrayed and disappointed the woman that was now comforting me in a hug

- "What happened, dear?"- she asked me but there was no way I could answer. I was too ashamed of myself.

Since I have memory, there were only my mother, my brother and me. My father abandoned us when I was six years old, and my mother valiantly carried on with the burden of raising two children alone. She managed to provide for both of us with great courage and discipline. She never complained and never asked more from us except obedience and effort which any parent would ask naturally.

She worked nonstop for years until my brother and me graduated as professionals and could fend for ourselves. She worked in different things from a manager in a hardware store, to a cook in her own restaurant, and the owner of a convenience store. Always working and smiling even though her body was about to collapse. She somehow managed to spend time with us, though. She always made sure we ate together, and it was as if every meal we had was a small victory for her. Every time we accomplished something no matter how small, she celebrated it as if we had conquered a kingdom. I now understand that she did that also as a support in order not to collapse. I simply did not know how she did it, but in the end she accomplished her goals and was the best mother she could have been and always made sure my brother and me were taken care of and felt loved.

- "I forgot my promise…"- I thought to myself- "I failed her…"

She was very careful so we did not see her worried or sad at any momento. However, one night when I had been thirsty, and went for a glass of wáter I found her crying profusely in the kitchen.

- "Oh, Lord… please give me strength…"- she prayed to God while crying- "I'm so tired and I feel I can't go on… so I beg of you… give me strength, patience and wisdom… please, for my children…"

This scene broke my heart and even though I wanted to, I did not go to hug her. I knew that would not help. She did not need the pity nor the tears of a child, but the tranquility and reassurance that she was doing a great job. So I just returned to my bed shedding tears of rage ad impotence knowing that I was a weak child that could do absolutely nothing.

- "I will… someday…"

That night I made a solemn promise. It was the promise that contained all the passions and hope that only someone who had just started to live and that did not know the cruel reality of this world could make. I t was a promise that was born from the deepest of my soul and that was branded into my bones and marrow. A promise made in the dawn of my existence and that had driven my efforts for years until the day of my decadence.

- "I swear for anything that is sacred… that I will make my mother the happiest woman In the world"- I said the oath while biting my blankets forcing myself from shouting in frustration- "Whatever the cost, I will!"

How could I forget that? No, I never forgot… Even if I had forgotten the words, that promise had guided my actions all my life. However, I took stupid decisions and was distracted many times. If I had taken better decisions and If I had been less naive and insecure, I would have definitely been able to do more for the person who had raised me through so many excruciating years. By the time, I had matured enough it was already too late.

- "The infection has advanced too much"- had said the doctor- "there is nothing else we can do…"

Yes, I let my mother die in sickness without being able to do a thing. I had gotten a job where the salary was minimum, however my lack of vision did not make me realize that it would not be enough in case of crises like this one. If I had escalated for a promotion or change Jobs for a better one, maybe I could have afforded a better treatment. What a dumb and stupid waste I was. I never saved and when the sickness arrived, we only could last two years with the treatment. Just then I started to react and looked for alternatives in desperation. It was too late, I could only manage to scrap money from here and there but only to get by and never to make a difference. Something that helped me a lot in the darkest days was writing. I was never a renowned writer, heck, probably not even considered a professional. I managed to win some prizes that gave me enough to alleviate the economic issues. It was not much but my mom always smiled with pride when she saw any novel with my pseudonym on it.

- "That's my son! You'll be the next Dumas or Hemingway!- she used to say with a weak but animated voice. He conviction was contagious…

She used to ask me to read her my novels just like she used to do with me. The roles had reversed and I could not be happier. I think I managed to stick with writing due to the happiness she got from it. She was my muse until the last day of her life, and I want to believe she was just as happy as I was… at least… that is what I need to believe. Truth is she died drowned in debts and maybe cursing this useless son of hers in her heart of hearts, I would not blame her. All these memories and emotions rose in an instant and finally broke me into a messy sobbing crybaby.

- "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"- I said crying as I held her with all my strength having the idea that she would disappear I let her go for an instant.

I cried nonstop just as I did when I apolgized on my knees in front of her tomb while praying to God for the last time in my life begging for a new chance to make things right. The frustration in accepting I had failed at my promise of making her happy. Like that, I cried as a child for the things I could not do as a man…. Simply pathetic. I am sure every person has had their "what ifs," but what kind of child let his mother, especially one who had faced so much, end up like this? A worthless one. That day I think I shouted until my throat was injured and fainted. After that day, my world became colorless and food tasted plain. I stopped smiling, except for a defeated grin which I showed to mock myself. I felt nothing and cared for nothing. I was a dead person pretending to be alive.

- "Another day… damn…"- I used to say every morning annoyed to not have died in my sleep.

I became a sarcastic introvert who spent his days isolated in front of his screen, except for when I really needed to go to work which was also done mechanically. I closed myself and never involved myself with others. When the end arrived, those feelings just became more accentuated and to be honest it helped me survived somehow. I thought I did not have a heart anymore.

- "What happened, son? A bad dream?" – mom asked with a sweet voice as she carressed my hair- "Don't worry, all is good… I'm here now, and I will always be here for you"

And yet here I am feeling so many emotions once again in her arms. I can feel my heart beating madly and all those feelings I imprisoned all those years woke up at the same time with a tearing pain. However, the pain was exactlty what made me feel alive again. I do not care if it is a dream or illusion, whoever was doing this, please let me stay here forever. Let me hug her and make thing right with her.

The moment extended a little more, and I lost count of all the kisses I received to calm down but they definitely managed to calm me down after a while. However, now a huge sense of shame flooded me. Seriously, get you shite together man, you are an old man in your 50's. Why did you start crying like a damn brat? My enemies and allies would never let me hear the end of it if they knew the pathetic spectacle I had shown a few minutes ago.

- "Feeling better?"- she asked still caressing my head

- "Yeah, I'm sorry…"- I said and i was surprised once again since it's the first time I heard my voice. Did I ever have such soft and high pitched voice like this?- "I just wanted to hug you and say that I loe you and missed you a lot…"

- "How sweet… but we saw each other yesterday night before sleeping…"- she said smiling in the way I missed so much- "And I also love you so much, much and much"

- "Yesterday?"- I said with a grin- "that explains why I missed you so much… I was about to get some trauma for so many hours without your company."

- "Oh my, such a silver tongue you have there, Cristian"- said she laughing at my words- "I can only feel bad for all the girls you will make cry in the future. However, you shuld get prepared, it's the first day of school today and you can't be late… I wanto to see you in your uniform."

I see the uniform hanging some meters away and I changed very quickly enjoying the smooth feeling of the material which was lost for practical means in the outfits of the future.

- "So handsome"- said my mom while analyzing my outfit which is the typical school uniform by this time which consisted in a white shirt, green tie, green sweater, a pair of grey pants and black shoes- "ok, let's go to eat breakfast."

I followed her and I got out of the small room inside the house where we lived. Ah the memories! We found ourselves in a big yard surrounded by many other rooms. The house was a colonial style structure with two floors surrounding a single yard in the center. The material was simple, but durable and very warm and cozy. Various members of the family lived together and it had belonged to the family for generations. The first thing I noticed is the dashing light that shines all over the place.

- "I had forgotten how shiny and hot the Sun could be"- I thought placing a hand in front of my eyes- "and that blue sky… how many years had it been?"

In the future, we will only have a red sky which only gave sufficient light to see and the environment was warm going more to cold. Due to this, many plants and animals were extinct since the Sun could not be visible from the Earth. Many scientists had tried to send new satellites to the space, but the electromagnetic field from the red sky had always prevented any attempt. Communications had also disappeared so nobody ever knew what happened with the astronauts in the the ISS and the colonies in the Moon and Mars. Maybe humankind had a chance to survive through them, but we never knew and also we did not have the leisure to worry about them since the things were sufficiently chaotic on Earth to worry about others.

- "The birds are singing…"- I said as I heard the constant tweets and chirps coming from who knows where.

Most animals had disappeared from cities, due to the hunger that came, most animals were butchered and consumed, even those who once were considered pets. The situation was simply too desperate and everyone started hunting any kind of meat they could get, so animals were nonexistent in the cities after a while and the silence it brought only made the environment even more miserable than it was. Of course, some hunted not only animals but also humans. Cannibals were a common presence in the future and one had to be extremely careful since they normally would prefer the victim to be alive so they could obtain fresh meat by cutting pieces of meat form the victim while still alive. It was a destiny that I did not wish to any person.

- "Brother!"- I heard and I saw the other member of my family running to me to give me a hug.

My brother, Joseph, was six years younger than me, and he always saw me as a father figure since our father had abandoned us just twon months after he was born, so he had never seen his face and it was a fact that had marked him for the rest of his life when later in his teenage years he entered a rebellious phase full of hatred and resentment, driven by the fact that he had been abandoned so he had been very vocal and nasty in his words and actions. It took years for him to calm down and realize the foolishness of his actions. For now however, he looked up to me and showed me a smile that was extremely different to the one he showed me the last time we saw each other after the End.

- "I want to play marbles with you!"- he said while showing some shiny and colorful marbles in his tiny hands.

- "Sure!"- I said tossing his hair- "but it will have to be later since I have to go to school."

He pouted a little but then finally nodded. Mn, I missed this obedient and cute brother of mine. How could he become that nasty idiot that wanted to fight me nonstop and insulted me every single time we met later on his life?

- "Promise?"- he asked extending his tiny finger

- "Promise"- I said making a tiny finger vow- "now let's wash outr hands and let's go to eat breakfast!"

- "Ok"- said my little brother while shouting and running to the faucet.

I opened the faucet and once again I get shocked at seeing the clean water that appears from it. I can't stop myself from washing my face and hair and even drinking the water immediately. It was so delicious to feel and drink clean and refreshing water after so many years. I had even forgot there was such a thing before the end.

- "We playing with water?"- asked my brother with a curious look in his eyes.

- "No, no, I'm just getting ready for school…"- I said trying to hide my embarrasment.

First I cried like a baby and now I started playing like a brat. Seriously, I suppose this body hormones is affecting me completely. Anyway, I dried myself and combed my hair and go to the dining room where I found many familiar faces. At this time, our money situation was very difficult and in order to save money, my mom decided to live with her sister Zulema and her husband Maurice, whose nickname was "Uncle Motorcycle," which came from the time he played professional soccer. My cousins Marcia and Ken who are many years older than me seemed to be fighting as usual and my mother is already there talking with my aunt. I quickly entered and greeted everyone.

- "Good morning, everybody…"- I said but the words sounded weird coming from an antisocial person like me. However, I remember I was not like that in this time.

- "Good morning, Tarzan"- said my uncle using the nickname he put me as he give me a slap in the back.

- "Good afternoon, you mean. Sit down and eat before you are late for school"- said my Aunt Zulema who as always show a strict and cold temperament, but I also know she's the most caring and loving person in the world.

- "I heard you wetted your bed!"- whispered Ken in my ear. As usual he was an idiot who wanted to show me and my brother he was the boss.

- "Don't bother him!"- said Marcia who as usual is always against her brother and on my side.

I just smiled finding this environment extremely comfortable. Even the idiocy coming from Ken's mouth which wld normally annoyed me sounded cute in comparison with the harsher words I was accostumed to hear in my previous life. Francis, the family maid, served the dishes and we all started eating as a family once my Uncle thanked for the food. How long has it been since I had eaten in such safe and warm environment? I was elated not to have to constantly looked over my shoulder while eating God knows what very quickly hidden in a cold corner in fear that someone could find me. Also, the flavor… I wanted to cry once more due to the delicious food I was eating. Hot and delicious homemade food is something that many do not value until they lose it forever.

- "What the hell was I eating until now?"- I thought while eating in delight everything I could- "in comparison I was eating garbage or worse things until now… How many millions of credits would a meal like this cost in the End?"

- "Hey, easy there…"- my mom told me with an embarrassed tone- "the food is not going anywhere…"

Only then, I noticed that everyone is looking at me with shocked eyes. I wonder what kind of face I was showing for them to look at me like that.

- "Let him!"- said my uncle while passing me more pieces of bread- "he's growing and he needs to eat like a man now!"

- "I'm sorry…"- I said after cleaning my mouth- "It's because it's very delicious…"

- "No need to apologize"- said my aunt Zulema with a smile when I praised the food- "just be careful not to choke!"

Francis also showed me a radiant smile since it was her who had personally cooked everything and she brought tea and toasts for me. It seemed she was extremely pleased with my praiss, but I was just being totally honest.

- "Eat more and grow strong, Tarzan!"- said my uncle laughing out loudly.

My mom smiled but she still gave me a cautious look like saying to eat slowly, I just looked back in a silent apology and kept eating, only slowly this time.

- "Have a nice day in school"- said my mom sending me off with a kiss- "be careful with the cars and always pay attention around you. Don't talk to strangers and always walk where there are people."

- "Ok!"

I smiled and waved her good bye. It was strange to be sent off with such love and care, but it was also refreshing. Once in the street, I felt overwhelmed by the quantity of people and vehicles in the street. The buildings anot in ruins and the roads are clean.

- "It all look so… alive"- I said while enjoying all of these things that are here once again- "I will become addict to this again…"

I sighed knowing that all of this will be lost in a few decades. In that moment I stopped walking and turned around abruptly feeling someone watching me from behind. I found two students that are older than me. They also stopped and looked at me with surprise and some fear.

- "Oops! I supposed I'm looking at them with a murderous intent"- I thought while trying to control my emotions and just nodded at them before continuing my way- "Sorry, kids. It's a habit now…"

In the end, one had to be extremely careful. Sometimes, a look or the way you stood could win a fight before it started. Everyone knew that if you entered certain distance in the range of a person it could mean an ambush, so everyone grew very wary of anyone entering their range without announcing especially from behind. It was a matter of life or death so I naturally got used to be aware of my surroundings and literally be paranoid in order not to be caught off guard. I supposed the kids I scared were thinking I was a crzy person, and to be honest I think I am… after all, nobody who was not at least a little crazy would have been able to survive in the end.

- "You are not there, Cristian!"- I said to myself trying to control the paranoia of being surrounded by so many people without thinking they were going to attack me- "control your nerves and your aura…"

I managed to control myself after a while, However, I still kept my guard up and unconsciously, I still count how many people there are in front and behind me and the threat level each one could have on me.

- "There are eighteen people around me who are in range… seven in front, seven on my sides and five behind"- I said to myself confirming my surroundings with mínimum movements of my head- most of them are students like me, but also some adults… of them, only five know how to fight by the way they walk and move. However, none seemed to have bad intentions"

If they knew what I was thinking, those people would think I am a stupid kid with mental issues. However, I still do it because even though I am in a safer era, there was no way to just change a habit acquired in more tan a decade. Also, it did not mean this world was completely safe. There are still dangerous people in this world even today so I saw nothing wrong in being this cautious.

- "Oh, it's been a while..."- I said noticing I had arrived to my school in no time- "I had forgotten how close it was from home."

And like this, I entered the school which brought even more nostalgia to this old man. I seriously wonder why I am so sensitive today.

- "Get you shit together, old man!"- I said to myself as I laughed to myself wondering what I should do right now.