Chapter 3- The Eating Disorder

So now that you know who I am and who my screwed up family is, why don't we talk about how I became anorexic. When I turned about 10 I started to realize that I wasn't very hungry no more and I didn't want to eat anything. After a week of not eating and crying, my weight started to fall little by little. Then after a month all I could think about was, "how did this happen, why is this happening to me, what's going on?" I didn't want to tell my mom and have her worried and try to put me in a nuthouse. Besides, my mom has enough on her plate and I don't know how much more she can take before she blows up. So I think I'll handle this one on my own.

A year later it only got worse for me, I wasn't in any shape to play sports, especially the ones that you have to run. I can barely keep up with the other players. And I couldn't do any clubs because I wasn't interested in any of them. This stupid what ever it is has really screwed up my life big time.

By the time I turned 12 years old I finally took on the courage to tell my mother about what was going on with her little girl, but first I decided it would be best if I did my own research first, so I could figure out and know what was going on with me first. In the research it stated, "Eating disorders are mental disorders marked by an obsession with food or body shape. They can affect anyone but are most prevalent in young women. People with anorexia nervosa may limit their food intake or compensate for it through various purging behaviors. They have intense fear of gaining weight, even when severely underweight." When I found this information, all I could do was sit there and cry, even though I had finally figured out what was wrong with me. I didn't want to have some eating disorder, I was fine with the way my body looked and I definitely at this point was not obsessed with food, as you can tell.

I couldn't help, but ask myself, "why are you doing this, what did I do to deserve this?"

The next day I decided that I would tell my mother what was going on and how I was feeling.

My mother was sitting in the living room watching t.v. when I walked in the house. As soon as I opened the door my adorable little Evie and Meko were right there to greet me, in case you didn't know Meko and Evie are the names of my puppies. Evie's an Australian Shepherd and Meko is a German Shepherd.

When I entered the living room I called for my mother.

"Hey mom, can we talk for a minute? It's really important."

"Sure honey, what's up?" she said in a concerned and sweet voice.

"I needed to tell, and I've wanted to tell you this for a while now, but here goes.... I have a d-disorder called Anorexia." the words felt like poison going down my throat.

"Wait a minute, what do you mean you're anorexic? You've been eating fine, haven't you?" She said as tears poured down her rosy cheeks. I couldn't open my mouth to say anything else.

"Well haven't you?!" This time when the words poured out of her mouth, they didn't sound angry or mad, they sounded scared and sad.

When I looked back over to her I felt warm, wet droplets of water stream down my cheeks. I didn't know what to say, all I could do was sit there, look at her, and cry.

A few minutes later my mom got up from her spot on the couch and went into the kitchen to look for her phone.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked stuttering between sobs and sniffles.

"I'm calling your father, he may not be in our lives no more, but he still has the right to know what's going on with his daughter."

The words from her mouth sounded bitter and stern. My mother and father haven't talked to each other in 3 years, I didn't know what was going to be said. As soon as I heard the haunting voice of my father, I ran up the stairs to my bedroom so I didn't have to listen to the yelling, crying, and the pain in my mother's voice. Even though I was upstairs hiding behind a closed door I could still her the sobbing of my mother as she informed my father about the pain that her little baby girl was going through.

After she got off the telephone, she asked me to come downstairs. As I walked slowly down the stairs, there standing at the bottom step was my mother, with her face red, puffy, and wet from the hurtful tears. As I came to the bottom step she opened her arms slowly and I couldn't help but run into her arms.

When we walked back into the living room my mom started to say a bunch of things that I couldn't quite make out, due to the crying.

"Your father and I have decided that it would be best if you went..." she said with a pause.

"Decided it would be best if I went where?" I asked confused.

"Have decided it would be best if I took you to the hospital around the block." She said trying to hold back her sobs and tears.

"No, mama please, d-d-don't, I can get better, I promise, just don't take me away, please." I pleaded.

"What other choice do I have honey. This is what's best for you and you know it, this is the only way that you're going to get better. You can't live like this, skinny and hungry." she said as she walked out, face all red