I always think about you

Terrance had promised to wait for me in the classroom until the club meeting was over. I told him that it would take over an hour, but he insisted that he would wait. That he wanted to walk home together.

"Do what you want," I had said, "Don't blame me if you get bored."

I had said it meanly, but at the same time I had to face away from him; the blood rushing to my cheeks would have given the game away; I am really happy that Terrence said that he would wait for me.

The club meeting was about some supplies we had to gather for the next event. I felt restless. Time seemed to be going especially slowly today. I kept looking at the clock, and it was like the minute hand wasn't even moving at all. Why did I have to be at this meeting? If they just wanted to gather supplies, just write it on a piece of paper, give it to someone to collect it, and have it over with. But they won't do that, because then it won't be 'proper'.

"Charlotte, could I leave a few minutes early?" I asked, getting up from my chair.

"This is an important meeting, Sophie." Charlotte said, tilting her glasses down at me. She likes to talk down to everyone like she is a teacher. She is also scary strict, and I don't think that she likes me at all.

"I really need to use the toilet," I said. Holding my tummy. If there was one thing that I was good at, it is acting. I have been acting my whole life, so I have become a natural at it.

"Alright," Charlotte sighed. "Toby, escort her to the toilet."

Ah, escort? Why did I need escorting to the toilet? Who even uses the word escort?

Toby came up to me, and said with a bow, "Please follow me, Madam."

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks." I grabbed my bag and ran out of the room while Charlotte called out that she was going to have me kicked out of the club. This wasn't a big problem, though. She often threatened to have me out of the club. But we were short on members, and I am good at sweet-talking.

I hurried to the classroom and, when I was in front of the door, I thought for a moment that Terrance wouldn't be there, and my heart sank. After a little hesitation, I opened the door and there was Terrance by the gently fluttering curtains of the classroom window. Sleeping with his head resting on his open notebook.

I walked up to him, and was about to wake him up, but then I hesitated for a moment. A naughty thought passed through my mind. I knew it was a bad idea, but now I had thought of it, I couldn't help myself. When else was I going to get a chance like this.

I gently lowered my bag to the floor, and went close to Terrance. And as I got close to him, my heartbeat so loudly that I was sure that he would hear it and wake up. I carefully wrapped my arms around his back. And putting my face close to his, I listened to his gentle sleeping breath.

"Thanks for waiting for me." I said quietly, into his ear. I would never do anything like this if he was awake. Even now, I felt my face go hot. I turned my face toward his, as I often did in my dreams, slightly, so that I was looking at Terrance's sleeping face. His dark, shadowy eyes. His face as so different from everyone else because his parents were from a far-off country. I had never seen him so close. I slowly moved my face closer and closer to his. Bridging the gap between us like the minute hand of a clock.

"Excuse me, madam."

I jumped back from Terrance in an instant. I was so shocked from the voice that I had wet myself. But I quickly regained my composure.

"What is it, Toby?" I asked, my voice calm.

Toby stood at the doorway holding a piece of paper.

"I just came to give you this, madam." Toby said. "Mrs Charlotte wants you to bring the supplies in by next week."

As punishment for leaving early… Well, at least this makes us even.

"You can leave the paper on the desk."

I didn't want to go over and take the paper from Toby; I could feel some droplets rolling down my thigh. Since I am wearing a short skirt, I'm sure he would notice it if I went any closer.

"Okay, madam." Toby said. He did what he was asked and left the room. As efficient as always.

Suddenly, I felt some fabric between my legs. I made a short squeak, but quickly got a hold of myself.

"Terrance?"

"There's some water on your legs, let me wipe it for you."

"I can do it myself."

"I'm almost done."

Terrance carried on wiping. When did our relationship become like this? On the one hand, it was warm and wholesome. On the other, it seems like there is something darker underneath. Since I am a good liar, I tend to be suspicious of other people. Of course, I have wondered if Terrence really knew about my feelings for him. Whether for reasons of his own, he is trying to protect me like I am trying to protect him.

When he finished cleaning me, Terrance looked up at me. Eyes are dark and tired, and his hair always a mess, but he smiled at me with his innocent smile. When we first met, he didn't smile at all. But now he would often smile to me. And only to me. That always made me happy.

"You idiot, you said you would wait for me, and here I find you sleeping." I said to him. Doing my best to be angry.

"I-I…"

As Terrance fumbled for a response. I pinched his cheek.

"I'm feeling generous, so I will forgive you with just that today." I picked up my bag and made my way out of the classroom. "Come on, let's go."

"C-coming, wait."

Terrance hurried to put everything in his bag and ran after me.

That night I couldn't sleep. Not even for a minute. My mind and body were steaming with the moment in that classroom, with me and Terrance. The warmth of him in my hands. His back was so huge. And the thought of his face so close to mine. If I had only a moment longer, I could have kissed him. The thought alone made me want to scream. Who cares if anyone finds out? Whatever pain I will suffer then will be better than this.

I pressed my pillow against my chest and sniffed in deeply, trying to imagine Terrance's smell. Does he ever think about me in the same way that I think about him? If only I could drop this role that I'm playing and be honest with him. If I just asked him, I'm sure he would answer me.