Chapter 4

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[ <Dungeon of the Smurfs>Mission: Kill 102 Smurfs and deliver their corpses to Gargamelow]-[Complete]

Side mission: Defeat Papa Smurf (boss). [Complete]

Reward: Jeans x1.

Additional Reward: A vial (50 ml) of Smurf Blood

Recived: Y/N

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When Krystian left the area that belonged to the grotesque sorcerer, he was in a really good mood. He clutched a book in one hand and a leather pouch containing exactly one gold coin in the other. The system notification flashed in front of his eyes, indicating that the task was completed.

Krystian chuckled to himself and said, "Hehe... First job done... A vial of Smurf blood... Hopefully not that blonde bitch. After all, HIV blood, even from a smurf, isn't very inviting."

He fondly recalled the amusing scene when the blond-haired female Smurf emerged from the red hut completely naked. Krystian found it even more amusing because he remembered exactly who owned that particular house. It seemed like the content and the world he encountered were reminiscent of an almost forgotten fairy tale from his childhood.

(Krystian)- "And it's not like I'm going to drink it. Haha..." Krystian added, laughing.

Suddenly, Krystian stopped and realized he was standing on a forest road, surrounded on all sides by trees and bushes. He cautiously looked around, not wanting to risk any unexpected animal encounters. Only when he felt reasonably safe did he accept the rewards for completing the task. After a while, accompanied by gray smoke that enveloped the two objects like mist from burning chemicals or e-cigarette smoke slowly released from a mouth, two objects appeared on the ground in front of him.

The first object was a pair of jeans, slightly dark in color and a little loose, but above all, they fit his body perfectly. Krystian picked them up, ensuring he adhered to the minimum dress code. He also noticed a small vial on the ground, shaped like a peculiar jar, containing a blue liquid.

Krystian held the small jar of blood up to eye level to get a better look at its contents. With a slight smile, he remarked, "Really... a beautiful phenomenon. Now I wonder what kind of blood unicorns have. Maybe someday I'll visit Pinkie Pie. I wonder if her blood is pink too... Hehee..."

Before Krystian's eyes, the first signs of civilization emerged, marking the goal of his journey—a wandering stall indicated by Gargamel. As he enjoyed the beautiful landscapes of this fairytale world, he found himself lost in introspection about his new life.

The world appeared surprisingly vast, strange as it may sound. Although the machine referred to it as a Dungeon, based on Krystian's worldly knowledge, dungeons weren't typically so extensive. Apart from the requisite monsters and boss to defeat, there shouldn't be much variety here. After careful consideration, he concluded that the name Dungeon might just be a label, or perhaps he simply didn't fully understand the word's meaning himself.

After several minutes, as Krystian emerged from the dense forest, his eyes beheld vast fields teeming with various crops, creating a picturesque landscape before him. Descending from a slightly elevated area, he first noticed the thatched roofs, followed by an entire village. From his perspective, the village seemed to consist of a dozen or so relatively similar houses. They were made of gray stones or wood with straw roofs, offering a somewhat peculiar view reminiscent of medieval villages in central Europe. However, Krystian's objective didn't require entering the village itself. Instead, at the entrance, there was a traveling trader, whose owner was currently resting on a wooden chair leaning against the cart that held the goods.

The cart itself was particularly eye-catching, standing out amidst the medieval village.

First and foremost, the cart was pulled by a truly peculiar creature. The creature's body, apart from the head, strongly resembled a watchdog, but its body was much more muscular and thicker, with every inch of it adorned in beautiful pale yellow feathers. The creature's head, however, was a distinct feature, resembling that of an eagle or a similar bird, certainly unique. Krystian was truly enchanted by the sight of it, so much so that he briefly entertained the idea of overpowering the merchant and making off with the creature and the merchandise in the cart. The idea grew more tempting with each passing moment.

The cart itself had a peculiar appearance, akin to a circus carriage. On one side, it had space for the merchant, with a red leather seat adorning it. However, the side walls could only be described as circus-like. Pink walls adorned with gold decorations on the corners, featuring a small window through which the merchant could sell goods from inside. At the back of the carriage, there was a bright pink door. Additionally, the roof resembled those of Japanese houses, lending the carriage a truly peculiar appearance.

https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/391672498856493562/

The owner of this curious carriage was a really old woman with a rather unpleasant hunched posture. She was dressed in a high-quality green robe with intricate gold thread patterns, and she had a purple husta draped over her face as a headdress. She sat heavily in a wooden chair and had been staring at him with a confused expression for some time.

(Olga) - Boy, is something wrong?

Initially, Krystian approached with a polite expression on his face, but a few seconds after the older woman said the line, he noticed that despite the initial friendly tone, her gaze fell from his eyes to more private areas—his crotch. He felt slightly disgusted by this look, took a breath, and used mental strength not to say anything inappropriate or unnecessary.

(Krystian) - I was working on my uncle's farm, and unfortunately, things didn't end well for me. So, I came here hoping to replenish my wardrobe and hire a carriage to take me home. And it seems like I'm in luck because you obviously have something that would suit me.

During this short imaginary story, which had to be fabricated due to an idea that occurred in the meantime, Krystian saw the obvious confusion on the woman's face again. However, this time, despite the fact that she was looking at Krystian's lower parts once more, her gaze seemed driven by confusion rather than more immoral motives. This time, she was perplexed because, even though Krystian was wearing jeans, the cut of his trousers appeared more suitable for a nobleman than a farm boy. Unfortunately, Krystian noticed the mistake in the invented story only after he had finished. Luckily, though, he was given a chance to correct the story thanks to the woman's next question.

(Olga) - Excuse me, young bachelor, but you don't look like someone who works under the sun, I must say. What have you been doing?

(Krystian) - I was conducting an inventory of produced goods because I have expertise in that area. I completed the task using an invitation. But, well, I wanted to help a friend, regardless. It's a bit embarrassing.

He said, pretending to remember an uninteresting funny situation. Then he turned serious and addressed the woman.

(Krystian) - I would love to chat more, but I don't have much time. Could you suggest some clothes for me to buy?

(Olga) - Of course, boy. Go inside, on the right you'll find hangers with newly purchased men's robes. I was planning to take them to the capital. However, if you're interested, please choose something for yourself. You can try them on, and I'll wait here until you decide. We can proceed with the transaction.

As Krystian approached the back entrance of the carriage, he heard the woman's excited giggle, which made him nervous. He bit his lip and muttered under his breath, "Perverted old hag."

Upon entering, he noticed the cramped room. There was a bed, or rather a rolled-up mat, next to a bookshelf that occupied half of the left wall. Beside the bookshelf, there was a shelf filled with potions and ointments that shimmered with various colors and labels. On the right, there was a large assortment of mixed wardrobes, with several stacked chests beside them—six chests in total. The chests contained seeds, vegetables, fruits, and even desserts. Interestingly, the crates themselves, used for storing perishable goods, emitted a cool chill, as if they were actual refrigerators rather than wooden crates.

A clever plan formed in Krystian's mind when he saw the eyes and mouth of a woman peering at him from over the hangers through the holes in the wooden carriage wall.

First, Krystian took the first black men's coat from the rack and held it in such a way as if he was actually considering it, but at the same time, he covered the woman's gaze with it. Then, he looked at the shelf containing potions and other items. After a while, he noticed a large jar labeled "Strong Griffin Tranquilizer," which contained a white salt-like powder with a slightly grayish color. Considering it as a popular means of transport, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea for a traveling merchant to sell such goods.

Next, Krystian placed the pole between his legs, ensuring that the woman would not move from her previous position. With a devilish smile, he spoke with a convincing tone, as if genuinely considering a significant purchase.

(Krystian) - Maybe it would be a better idea to choose the pants first. After all, nothing here fits my current ones.

(Olga) - Yes...yes... ehehe...

Krystian heard the woman's whispers, filled with desire and convinced of her undetected presence. She indulged in various perverted fantasies in her head.

Krystian tried not to think about the woman's suggestive whispers. He noticed that the pants were on the lower floor of the hangers, so he bent down quietly, opened the jar, and took a handful of powder in his right hand. With his left hand, he grabbed a pair of pants and placed them over his shoulder. Then, he slightly lowered the pants he was wearing, and upon seeing the old woman audibly moaning with her mouth agape, he threw the powder in his right hand with a bit more force straight into the holes in the wall. He heard a body falling to the ground, accompanied by coughing and incoherent delirium.

Krystian, realizing that he was still near the village and not wanting the villagers to come to the woman's aid, quickly ran out of the carriage. He approached the woman, who lay unconscious on the ground with her robes slightly loosened, her face covered in white powder. Krystian swiftly checked what the woman had with her and discovered a large leather pouch filled with gold coins and a steel dagger with a slightly curved blade. He threw these items into the carriage, closed the back door, and, filled with excitement, took the coachman's place.

(Krystian) - Fuck... Fuck... What the fuck... What am I doing... Hehehehe.

Krystian babbled incoherently, overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events.

Grasping the crossguard, Krystian urged the yellow "griffin" to pull the carriage towards the forest he had come from earlier. Leaving the unconscious woman at the outskirts of the village without a care for what might happen to her. Krystian, with the newly acquired goods, hurried into the forest.

While in the woods, recalling the instructions to return to his island/asteroid amidst the multiverses, he uttered aloud, "Open the gate." Visualizing the desired location for the gate to appear, a moment later, a purple portal materialized in front of the carriage. Despite the animal's shock, Krystian and the carriage passed through the portal without major obstacles, propelled by their momentum.