9

Chapter 10

Practice Makes Perfect

Harry felt a body flop down next to him in bed. It was obvious who it was.

"Kissy, kissy, don't throw a hissy…" Draco said groggily.

Harry rolled his eyes. Draco seemed to be in one of his random moods. Draco was always very random in the morning and was NEVER in his right mind. Harry was used to this so he scooted a bit further away so not to get in the line of fire. But it was inevitable that he would get hit.

"Mm, Potter," Draco muttered sleepily.

"What?" Harry buried his face into his pillow and his voice came out muffled.

"We're not…" he snuggled against Harry's back, wrapping his arms around his waist, "…very convincing."

"What rubbish are you spouting now?" Harry asked, too tired to swat Draco's hands away.

"To the public, darling," Draco was now pressing soft kisses against the sensitive part of Harry's neck. "I don't think they buy our We're Gay act."

"Well, you're very convincing right now," Harry squirmed around uncomfortably, ignoring the sensation in between his legs.

Draco laughed and flipped Harry over to his back. Then the blonde sat up and straddled his hips so that he was looking down at him, "Let's practice."

"Practice what?"

"Practice being in love, of course.

Harry looked up at him incredulously, "Are you mad?"

"Madly in love," Draco answered. Then he paused, "Well, at least I can pretend to be madly in love. We didn't even kiss once during Fiddy's party. People were staring."

"Malfoy, I was sitting on your lap."

"Yes, and how can you withstand sitting on my lovely lap without turning around and kissing me? It's impossible! I must be the most kissable man on this planet."

Harry shoved Draco off of him and sat up as well. He looked at those mischievous gray eyes with suspicion but curiosity was tugging at him. "Do you honestly want to practice being in love? With me?"

Draco shrugged, "It's not like its real or anything. Just think that we're actors putting on a good show for our public. You get paid, I get publicity, therefore making myself richer— See? It all turns out well in the end. And all we have to do is remember, it's all pretend. As long as we know that I don't love you and you don't love me. Perfect."

Harry crossed his arms, "How do you propose we start?"

"Tell me you love me."

"No!"

Draco sighed, "That's how it begins. We have to believe that we're in love. So go on. Tell me that you love me.

Harry glared and focused his gaze on a crease in the bed sheets. He paused, "… I love you."

"I love you too," Draco answered quickly. "Now kiss me."

"Willingly!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "No durr, Potter!" then he paused. "I should call you Harry. It would make us seem closer than how we really are. Anyway, kiss me!"

"No, Draco. I refuse to kiss you in this room, on my bed, and in my boxers!"

"Then let me help you out of those boxers—"

"Malfoy!—"

"Yes, Harry?" Draco scowled at him. "Do you honestly want to give up when we're so far into the game? All your newly earned riches, all my publicity will get taken away when the public finds out that this is all a scam! And they will find out if we don't put any work into it! Come on, Harry, we're U.K.'s sweethearts!"

Harry slumped over and sighed. "I hate you."

Draco smiled and pushed himself forward. His lips were only a breath away from Harry's as he whispered, "I hate you too."

Harry was sitting in Ron's apartment, both of them waiting for Hermione who was in the kitchen getting her second helping of strawberry ice cream.

"Practicing what!" Ron gaped at Harry in disbelief when he told him. "And you agreed to this?"

"Well…" Harry looked at Ron sheepishly. "Yeah."

"Harry!"

"Well, I had no choice, you know!" Harry insisted. "If anyone else finds out that our relationship is a scam, we'd be ruined."

Ron stirred his melted chocolate ice cream with a spoon, "Are you sure it's a scam?"

"What are you saying?"

Ron shrugged, "Nothing."

Hermione walked back into the living room and lazily plopped down next to Harry. She spooned a large helping of ice cream into her mouth and watched the two boys carefully.

"What's going on?" she asked suspiciously.

"They're practicing," Ron answered almost immediately.

"Ron!" Harry hissed.

"Practicing what?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"Being in love."

"Really? That's so cute!"

"Yes, it's almost fluffy."

"Do they kiss in public?"

"And in private!"

"How romantic."

"On their privates."

"They've gone that far?"

"Malfoy is frisky. Of course they've gone that far."

"Did it feel good?"

"I don't know. I'm not gay."

"I'm right here, you know!" Harry said irately, his cheeks heating up. "And it's not like we do anything strange! Not like those stories our fans write about us on that strange website. Especially that one story… the really perverted one, have you two read it?"

Ron and Hermione shook their heads, no.

"Well who cares! All the stories our fanswrite are all 's horrid!"

"Dear, Harry…" Hermione smiled. "You're blushing."

"Of course I'm blushing!" Harry went on. "Have you read those blasted stories? We… go down on each other and we… do it! Horrid!"

Ron smirked, "So horrid and yet you continue reading it?"

"Well, I've got to know what my fans think of me," Harry insisted, the blush deepening. "Anyway, that's beside the point. All Draco and I are doing is kissing. And it's not like there's tongue involved— And, no. We're not having sex." Harry snapped before Ron could ask. "Change of subject! Ron, how's Karina?"

"Yes, Ron. How is Karina?" Hermione said stiffly.

"She. Is. Great!" Ron exclaimed. "She has got to be the nicest, funniest, sweetest girl I've ever met. Her hair is so shiny and… black, and her eyes- Oh, her eyes!"

"She's lovely, Ron?" Harry chuckled.

"Lovely? Lovely doesn't even begin to describe—"

"Yes, she's great. Wonderful," Hermione said briskly. "How happy I am for you."

"You should be!" Ron said, grinning. "I'm winning the bet, after all. You're gonna have to get me that Quidditch technique book and… oh, what was the other part of the bet? Oh yes! You have to respect me and never boss me ever—"

"Fine, Ron. But she hasn't fallen for you yet."

"Yet."

"And that Chinese mobster boyfriend of hers?"

"Japanese mobster ex -boyfriend."

"Whatever," Hermione said dismissively. "Aren't you the least bit intimidated?"

Ron looked at her as if she were crazy, "I'm a bloody wizard, Hermione. What's it to me if he comes over here with his posse? With a flick of my wand, they'd all be history."

"Oh dear. You are terrifying," Hermione said blandly. "To be on the other side of your wand would be dreadful… And yes, I meant that as a double entendre. I'm quite good at making perverted jokes."

"You never cease to amaze me."

Draco ran across the sand like a madman and splashed into the ocean. He and Harry decided to take the day off and have a mini one-day vacation at the beach. Harry had just wanted to take a drive out to the countryside but Draco reminded him about their earlier exploits and suggested to go to the beach instead. It was a Wizarding beach, of course. Packed with wizards and witches without a Muggle in sight.

"Come into the water!" Draco called out, flailing his arms wildly.

Harry smiled weakly and cautiously slipped his shirt off. Women all around him were eying him without shame. Harry's arms and shoulders were well-defined because of his Quidditch training and his stomach was perfectly sculpted. He was by no means a muscle-head, but he was quite fit. And a shimmer of sunlight gleamed upon his skin which was a beautiful shade of tan. Honestly, why wasn't this boy a model?

"Are you going to stand there flexing your pretty body or are you going to join me?" Draco placed his hands on his hips and gave Harry a vexed look. Frankly, he didn't like it when other people, besides him, were the center of attention. And Harry, at the moment, was indeed the center of attention.

"I'm coming," Harry muttered, hesitantly stepping into the water. P.D.A., P.D.A., Harry thought. Just like we practiced…

Draco was one step ahead of him as he came up behind Harry and slipped his arms around his waist. The blonde was an inch taller so he slouched down a bit and rested his chin against Harry's shoulder. "Are people watching?" his warm breath tickled Harry's ear.

"Yeah," Harry whispered back. "They're taking a bunch of pictures…"

"Goodie…" Draco took Harry by the shoulders and spun him around so they were facing each other. "Captain, I'm going in…" he leaned forward and shamelessly pressed his lips against Harry's, prodding his mouth open with his tongue. Harry was very stubborn and kept his lips sealed shut. Draco pulled away and grimaced, "Good God, Potter. Open your mouth and let me kiss you. Remember what's at stake…"

Harry rolled his eyes as he reluctantly let his jaw drop.

"Don't open your mouth like that!" Draco grimaced. "Wait until I get a bit closer… geez, you're such a novice." On their second attempt, they managed to get it right. Their lips melted against each other's and discreetly, for a second, their tongues met, but before they could go on further… surprisingly, Draco was the first to pull away. He had a blank look on his face that was quite indescribable. Harry was about to ask him what the matter was, but he was interrupted when Draco spotted an ice cream vendor. He whooped in delight and bounded across the sand eagerly.

Harry waded back to dry land and settled himself on the red and gold-colored blanket underneath a green and silver umbrella. As he waited for Draco, several young witches approached him with cameras and paper and pens. Harry was still a bit uncomfortable and wished that they wouldn't do this, but he was quite used to it by now and happily obliged to sign autographs and take pictures.

Draco came back carrying two cones of mint chocolate chip ice cream. He sat down next to Harry and offered him one of the cones.

"Aren't you generous," Harry smiled and took a lick of the ice cream.

"Aren't I always?" Draco grinned and turned his head to check out a group of scantily clad women playing a Muggle game called beach volleyball.

His was unaware of his melting ice cream that a good portion of it trickled on to Harry's chest. The cold made Harry yelp.

"What?" Draco whipped his head around and his eyes focused on the ice cream slowly seeping down Harry's perfect muscles.

"Thanks a lot," Harry muttered, reaching out for a towel.

Draco grabbed his hand to stop him, "Wait. I got this…" he leaned over and began to gently lick the melted ice cream from Harry's chest. Harry felt himself go rigid all over as Draco's tongue made its way from his chest down to his stomach. He didn't stop until each drop of ice cream was gone. When he was done, Harry slumped over, finally able to relax.

Draco just grinned and licked his lips, "You taste good, Potter."

Draco's Corner: If you don't like reading letters, don't read. If you like reading letters, please read. If you sent in a letter, you would most likely you would see it here, so please read. If you sent a letter and don't like to read letters, then why did you send it? Look, you've just confused me. Thank you.

Dear Draco,

greetings from Spain!

I am a big fan of Harry he is so hot!and you lucky bastard are his bitch!

All the magic world envies you!he is so good-looking, powerful and gorgeus and he is in your feet!

Tell me Harry is a hunk? he is a good shag? I love him! and I love you too because you are his blond princess.

love

Anny Pervert Snape

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Dear Anny,

Greetings from Sexy-Land!

You're a big fan of Harry but not of me! You're terrible! I hate you! And I am NOT his bitch— he is my pet! MINE! And the Magic World would envy me even if I did NOT have Harry Potter as my manservant. And I am TWICE as good-looking, TWICE as powerful (in bed), and TWICE as gorgeous than he is!

Yes, Harry is a hunk. He's a great shag. And I'm not the princess, I am the KING. The MASTER. ALL OF YOU MUST WORSHIP ME!

Love,

Draco

Dear Draco,

I'm sure you get enough fanmail so this one is for Harry. Would you mind handing it to him? By hand? I'd like to go on about how wonderful his emerald eyes are, and how steamingly shaggadelic his luscious black hair is, and how I'd like to knock him flat and snog him senseless. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, don't you? That GUT-WRENCHING utterly fluttery orgasmic feeling I get whenever I imagine him in his bed, sheathed in sweat, and wanking off like he's never wanked off before... and then, you conveniently 'accidentally' walk in on him and he freezes, his chest is heaving, and his electrifying green eyes are lazy with pleasure, but he's gazing at you in shock... he looks down and notices your very conspicuous problem and there's an awkward moment as you bite your lip and meet his gaze again... you've only one desperate desire right now...

So did I manage to get you worked up down there, Draco? Are you completely horny? Well, if you are, then I've done my job well. And if Harry reads this... har har.

If I could, I'd do all that myself, but as I'm too far away now, and you'd probably slash my throat if I even -attemtped-, I'll trust you to do it for me.

- Rogue x

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Dear R…o…U..G…..e…

Draco could barely write as the tip of his quill accidentally tore at the parchment. This fan had one hell of an imagination! It was right up there with K's letter. But this fan letter was so… gah…

"…his emerald eyes…"

Draco twitched.

"…how steamingly shaggadelic his luscious black hair is…"

"Shut… up…"

"…sheathed in sweat, and wanking off like he's never wanked off before…"

"Gggaahh… pffftt…"

"…his electrifying green eyes are lazy with pleasure, but he's gazing at you in shock…"

"Oh, sweet Merlin…"

"…So did I manage to get you worked up down there, Draco? Are you completely horny…"

"Shut up! Yes! Damn you, woman…"

Draco was about to tear up the letter and throw it into the fireplace, but he read over it once more and decided it would be best to keep it. He briskly stashed it within the pages of his diary.

Dear Draco...

I had this really sexy dream where you drop that cute...annoying...unneccisary attitude and seduced my lovely Harry Potter. Not only did you seduce him, but you lost that virginity of yours too him.

I love you Draco.. I really do...

Ash.

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Dear Ash,

WHO SAID I WAS A VIRGIN? WHOEVER LET THAT SLIP WILL DIE BY MY WAND! WHO SAID IT? WAS IT MY DADDY? IT WAS HIM, WASN'T IT! I mean… I'm terribly sorry. I must retain my composure. Silly girl, wherever did you get that incorrect bit of information? I am not a virgin. I must've had sex with over a million men and women. I don't know where you got a silly idea like that. And plus, Harry Potter and I shag like bunnies. Please make sure that your sources are correct before jumping to conclusions.

Love,

Draco

Draco looked at the letter in disbelief, "How the bloody hell did she know I was a virgin?"

Dear Draco,

Your photos are absolutely lovely, as are you as a supermodel. And do let Harry top once in a while. :) Much appreciated if you would. It's just hotter like that, nothing personal of course. Wear some eyeliner once in a while, it'll bring out those beautiful grey eyes of yours and if you're interested, handcuff Harry and use it on him as well. I'm probably drooling (without noticing it) thinking of you cuffing Harry up all kinky like that. Please do comply with the requests I've just made. And now, I shall refrain from rambling even more. Have a wonderful day!

With all my love,

Pure Poison

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Dear Pure Poison,

Oh what a lovely name! It sounds like the name of a stripper I used to date… maybe you ARE that stripper I used to date! How are you? I've missed you. Would you like to join me and Harry in our nightly escapades? … Oh, silly me. You're not the stripper I used to date. HIS name was Pure Penis. I'm sorry, my mistake (But you are welcome to join us anytime). And I actually do let Harry top when I'm in a good mood. I don't deprive him of his two seconds of glory (yes! He's so quick, it only lasts two seconds!). And when we make love, we use various things such as handcuffs (of course), whips, candle sticks, masks, stuffed animals, whipped cream, potato chips… Our lovemaking is very, very interesting! I think that it should be documented and shown on Muggle T.V. Wouldn't you all like to see that? Yes, I shall consult with the author (who would probably agree).

Oh, and do you think eyeliner would suit me? It sounds very sexy, I think I should give it a try. It would certainly bring out these grey eyes of mine. But honestly, if I get any sexier, so many people would be in critical condition! My sexiness CAN KILL!

Love,

Draco

Dear Draco,

I love your hot body and dream of stripping it everyday. How I want to ride you is so intense to describe in words. But since your gay, I suppose that I must settle for the next best thing. If needed I can provide you with my reseme of photography. I wish to tape you and Harry Potter doing your very dirty pleasures. I want it on tape and want to watch it. I can make a copy of it if you so happen to wish so.

Parker Daniels

P.S. My sister would like to leave a message for Harry

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Dear Parker Daniels,

Oh my goodness! What great timing! We are in fact going to do a documentary on my lovemaking with Harry very soon! Please make sure that you don't miss it! It will be very kinky and luscious and it will AROUSE you like there's no tomorrow. By the time it's over, you will wish to hump the thing nearest to you.

Love,

Draco

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Dear Harry,

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER! I WATCHED YOU, RON, AND HERMIONIE. THAT WAS SICK! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU DRY HUMPING EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN.

signed, Jaymy-Lynn Daniels

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Dear Miss Daniels,

Hi. I honestly don't know what you're talking about. Why must fans be so insensitive and rabid? See, if you had written a nice letter, I would've answered it with joy. But, no. I refuse to write further.

Harry

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Dearest Miss Daniels,

I apologize on behalf of my boyfriend. He just didn't want the world to know about WHAT HAPPENED LAST SUMMER. He denies the fact that he enjoyed dry humping his two best friends. And I must say, it was quite a joy watching it.

Love,

Draco

Dear Sex-On-A-Stick...er...Draco,

cough Your manly aura of manliness is so...MASCULINE, not to mention manly, that I can sense it all the way down here. I thought you'd want to know that I am living semi-vicariously through you. I am very much delighted at seeing that you and Harry Potter are at it like bunnies. Shag him! No, better yet, let him shag you till you feel like your legs are broken! Oh, yeah. (droolstains on parchment) That Potter boy is so hott I could just chain him up, whip him and eat ice cream off him and his large...coughs um...large...er..biceps? Ehe.

Oh, yeah. Back to you. Um...er...well...you're pretty hot as well, I guess. I find myself suddenly speechless. Oh, well, I gotta toodle off now so I could get back to that "chain" train of thought. If you catch my drift.

Cheerio!

Yours forever in a euphoric sexual haze,

Ivanna (as in Ivanna DracoHarry sandwich! woo!)

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Dear Ivanna,

Yes, behold my manly aura. My aura is PULSATING with HOT PASSIONATE SEX. Are you beholding? I am glad that I am the cause of your girlish horniness. But honestly, why are all you girls so keen on having Harry on top? I just do not see the hotness in that! I'm very disappointed. Doesn't the whole idea of "Draco-on-top" appeal to you all in any way? Me, sweating, and thrusting, and moaning, "Ohhh yesss… scream out, Harry! Say my name! WHAT'S MY NAME!" Even the thought of that gets my ridiculously horny.

But, yes, I do let him shag me occasionally. When I'm tired and when my ass needs cleaning… no, ignore what I just said. Anyway, don't you wanna chain me up? Don't you want to whip me and eat ice cream off me and my large dick— I mean, biceps? Please keep that in mind. I'm hotter. The end.

Love,

Sex-On-The-Go-Draco

This is strange for me as I don't generally write to famous people. Anyway, I think you and Harry are truly perfect for one and other. Hot boys should only be with other hot boys (well if they're gay anyhow.)

I find both of you very attractive. Your silver eyes and long blonde hair the clour of moonlight and pale skin. Ohh... too hott! And Harry's deep green eyes and messy hair that always looks like he just got shagged and that scar... I think his scar is sexy... Anyway, you're totally irresistible.

I wish you and Harry a very happy future.

Yours,

Miss Kitty

PS I'd like Harry to read this too, if that's okay with you. Thx.

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Dear Miss Kitty,

Meeeow. Would you like to be my pussy cat? Har, har. Anyway, I fully agree with you when you say that hot boys should be with hot boys. Take me and Harry for example. Take Oliver and Cedric for example. Oh bloody hell, it's a shame that a sexy beast like Cedric Diggory had to die. He was gorgeous. He and Oliver made a lovely couple. Oh, look, I just went off track.

Do you really find me attractive? What a silly question, of course you do! The whole world finds me attractive! Why am I such a beautiful man? It confuses me sometimes. How can someone be SO BEAUTIFUL? It's so mind-boggling! Would someone please explain to me why I am so beautiful?

Love,

Draco

Dear Draco,

You are a flaming homosexual... just so you know. Methinks you should

attempt to kiss Mr. Potter. I can't remember anything else I wanted to

say.

Love,

Killer

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Dear Killer,

I have no idea why, but you've just made me incredibly horny. Instead of attempting to kiss Mr. Potter, I will attempt to stick my Snitch up his Bludger.

Love,

Flaming Homosexual Draco

Draco, this is Hermione. I, uh, just got an e-mail from Goyle. Something about how you dumped Harry for him? I know you and Harry aren't actually together, but is it true about Goyle? I'm sorry, but if you were going to get with Goyle half way through this charade, you could have left Harry out of this altogether.

I better not find out this was all just a stupid trick to get back at Harry for being Golden Boy in our school days. He never wanted that title in the first place, he's much too modest for that, so please don't punish him for that. Anyway, I really hope the whole Goyle thing is a joke because the thought of him and you is just…disgusting. After all, if you were going to come out of the closet- which, you 'did'- Harry was definitely the best choice, because he's practically as hot as you

Got to go! Hear from you soon? Hermione

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Dear Miss Granger,

You obviously know that my relationship with Harry is one big hoax so why in hell would you think I'd hook up with that gorilla, Goyle? Honestly, I thought you were smarter than that. Please don't believe anything bad you hear about me. Because the only publicity that comes from me is GOOD SEXY publicity. And Potter is my one and only partner-in-crime in this whole sham. I couldn't have picked anyone better.

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Draco, Hermione again. I just got an e-mail from Crabbe saying you're with him. Don't worry, I know it was Fred and George. Honestly, can they take anything seriously?

Um, about what I said earlier, about Harry being hot? You won't tell Ron or Harry, will you? Please don't, Draco- besides, you owe me. I'm the one who introduced you to the modeling agency in the first place, so…please don't tell them? I would be forever in your debt. Anyway, just wanted to clear up the whole Goyle/Crabbe thing.

See you later? Are you and Harry doing anything later? Later- Hermione

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My darling Hermione,

How could have ever doubted me? Those two Weasleys are double trouble and they still hate me. But who could blame them for being jealous? I, of course, am the most beautiful man in this universe; they just can't HELP but look at me with LUST and ENVY. And I do not deny, I would like to be in the middle of that twin-sandwich. And about your slip-of-the-quill, why would you be ashamed to admit that Harry is hot? Everybody in the world knows that, Hermione. It's a fact. And I don't owe you anything because I know something Ron Weasley doesn't know… and if you don't be nice to me I might just have an accidental slip-of-the-tongue… nyahaha. SEXY BLACKMAIL!

Love,

Draco