2

Chapter 2

A Decent Proposal

"Since you're dragging me down with you in this mess, what do you suppose we tell the Wizarding world about us… living together?" Harry said the last part with a very evident grimace on his face.

"The truth," Draco said simply, not looking away from the mirror as he styled his hair in a very particular manner.

"That it was all a joke to prevent you from marrying that girl?"

"No, Potter, the other truth," Draco stated as if it were obvious. "That we decided to bring our relationship from behind the shadows and to proudly proclaim that we are in love."

"In love!" Harry sputtered.

"Yes, in love. You know— skipping through a field of daisies and holding hands— that sort of thing," Draco mumbled as he twisted a strand of hair between his fingers. "How do you think I should wear my hair? Up or down?"

"But I'm not in love with you!" Harry shouted. "Why should I parade around saying that I'm gay when I'm not!"

Draco turned his head to look at Harry, and fixed an icy stare on him. He sighed and nodded. "You're right, Potter."

"Yes! Thank you—"

"You're right. I should wear my hair down," Draco let his blonde strands fall over his shoulders. "I'm so beautiful, it frightens me sometimes."

Harry's right eye twitched.

"You get dressed too, darling," Draco called out gaily.

"Don't call me that!"

"We must practice P.D.A. if we are going to be a flamboyant gay couple—"

"I have a girlfriend," Harry said quickly.

Draco snorted, "I don't believe you. You're too pure and innocent to have a girlfriend. I even bet I was your first kiss."

"No, you're not. Cho Chang was my first—"

"Ah-ha!" Draco interrupted. "I knew I was your first. Are you really going to wear that raggedy thing when we go out? Please change or else I wouldn't want to be seen with you in public. I hope you understand. I'll wait for you in the car, sweetheart."

Harry was almost sure that steam was coming out of his ears. What did he do to deserve this? Anyway, he decided to take his sweet time getting ready just to spite Draco. But that wasn't necessary as Draco threw open the front door and slammed it shut.

"What's the matter?" Harry looked at him curiously.

"Paparazzi!" Draco breathed. His eyes had a sort of manic spark to them. "They found out about us!"

"There's no us!" Harry said agitatedly. "I'm going outside to straighten this out!"

"There's so many of them," Draco said softly, almost sounding like a madman. "They'll eat you alive… and spit out your bones... and use your skull as a paperweight."

"You have a lovely way with words," Harry muttered as he opened the front door and stepped out.

Draco counted off on his fingers, "Three… two… one…"

Harry rushed back in and bolted the door shut, "There's a whole ocean of them!"

"Come then, Harry," Draco said boisterously. "Let us go swim in the sea of opportunity."

"No!" Harry looked at him; his green eyes were wide with disbelief at Draco's strange attitude. "You're crazy! They'll pounce on us and rip our clothes off!"

"That's how I like it," Draco licked his lips as an evil glint appeared in his eye. "Come now, Harry. Don't be such a party-crapper. Don't you want to be in the papers?"

"Not when I'm labeled as gay!"

Draco pretended to look appalled, "You speak of it as if it were a bad thing! Now, if you were labeled as a murderer, I would understand. If you were labeled as a rapist, then by all means, straighten it out. If you were labeled as a Nazi, then of course, you deserve to rot in hell. But being gay? Absolutely nothing wrong with that!"

"But… you're not gay."

"Splendid, old boy! You've stated the obvious."

"Then why are you—"

"—Doing this?" Draco interrupted with a smile. "Oh you know. To piss off dear old dad. To get my name in the papers."

"Well, I happen to not want my name in the papers, especially when my sexuality is being doubted," Harry said indignantly. "And I, unlike you, don't go around have one-night-stands. I actually would like to meet a nice girl and eventually get married. And I can't do that with you around trying to gay me up!"

"How romantic of you, Potter."

"And you can do other things to get your name in the papers. Like help out with a charity, or feed the homeless—"

"Saint Potter, always doing good," Draco pressed his hands together as if praying. "I've got devil horns holding up my halo. Not everyone can be as sweet and angelic as you."

"You won't have your usual throng of women," Harry said quickly, hoping for Draco to change his mind. "They'll think you're gay and they won't even bother vying for your attention anymore."

Draco snorted, "Proves how little you know."

Harry looked confused.

"My dear boy. It's the gay men that are always surrounded by women. They will be able to undress in front of me because they feel as if I won't be aroused. They will share their most inner secrets with me, we will compare body parts, we will talk of matters of the heart- and all that sensitive crap women love to speak of," Draco took a deep breath and continued. "Then I will tell them how beautiful they are. And they will feel flattered that a gay man thinks they're beautiful. They will feel important because they feel as though they have changed my ways- when my ways don't need changing in the first place. And then… when the mood is right… we hit the sack and make explosions."

Harry stared at him, thoroughly disgusted.

"Are you giving me a look of respect?" Draco asked. "Because you should."

"No. I'm looking at you as how a normal decent human being would look at a maniacal psychopath," Harry answered distastefully.

"So you're grudgingly accepting the fact that you truly respect me," Draco nodded with a smile. "Ah, I shall take you under my wing and veer you into the direction of immorality."

"I can't take this anymore," Harry walked to his front door and threw it open. Flashes from the cameras blinded him as he called out into the huge crowd of people. "This is a publicity stunt by Draco Malfoy! We are not gay! This was a publicity stunt in order to get our names into the paper—"

"Darling!" Draco threw his arms around Harry to quiet him down. "Don't listen to him, everybody! He's just shy!" Draco planted a kiss on a very repulsed-looking Harry. "But apparently he's not shy in bed— Ooops, did I say that out loud? Silly me!"

Harry looked horrified. He turned back to the crowd and shouted, "I'M NOT GAY! I'M AS STRAIGHT AS A WAND!"

"As straight as your wand or as straight as mine?" Draco giggled madly. "Come now— People, don't listen to my boyfriend's ramblings! He's just afraid that we won't be accepted into society. But you, my loyal fans, will still love me… riiiiight?" he batted his eyelashes.

Rabid screams of "Yes, Draco!" and "We'll always love you, Draco!" rang through the air.

"See?" Draco turned to Harry and grinned. "Nothing to worry about, Honeybuns!"

Harry turned to Draco and muttered, "You're mad," before walking back into the house.

The blonde chuckled and called out to the crowd, "My boyfriend fancies an afternoon shag, so I must leave you all now."

A chorus of "Awwwww's" erupted from the mass group.

"No worries. We'll be back…" Draco shot a triumphant smile at the crowd and turned to walk back into the house.

A very enraged Harry Potter stood waiting for him. "I will strangle you. And I will squeeze out your blood and feed it to your House Elves."

"Stop being so cheerful, Potter," Draco busied himself by going back to the mirror and inspecting his hair. "Think of this as a valuable experience. A… learning experience."

"What am I learning? How to be utterly stupid?"

"No. You were born with that," Draco said briskly. "To be honest, I don't know what you're learning. Maybe you can learn how to put up with a high maintenance, beautiful model— that would be me, by the way."

"I'm not having any part in this unless there's something in it for me," Harry crossed his arms.

Draco pulled away from the mirror and looked at him, "My, my," the blonde grinned. "I see I've got a businessman to deal with. Name your price."

"Five thousand a week."

"Are you bloody crazy? Flaunting my pretty face isn't a job good enough to earn me that much money. Five hundred a week."

"Two thousand."

"One thousand."

"Deal."

Draco looked a bit depressed at having to give up one thousand a week. But he didn't complain, "Fine. We've got ourselves a deal. But we've got to set a date on when we should "break up". I can't keep paying you forever. Let's see… How about two months from now? I'm pretty loaded; I can keep going that long."

Harry shrugged, "Fine. Just so long as you keep the cash coming."

"Money is no problem. So now you're going to be bloody rich. What do you have to say about that?"

A small smile spread across Harry's face, "I say…How about we go out tonight… sweetheart."

Draco looked at Harry, a tiny glimmer was evident in his gray eyes, "You read my mind… darling."