Chapter 4 - Change for the better

A week has passed. I've been cleaning Jae's mess and arranging his toys for a week.

And I have also been suffering with my classmates for a week.

I have no friends in the classroom. Only my seatmates whom I become close with, but they are not counted as friends.

My friends are in another section. I hope I'm in the second section too. My classmates are very smart. I can no longer understand them sometimes.

I have a lot to ask them. But I can't. Is that really me?

And our reporting on El Fili (one of the book in Filipino, written by Dr. Jose Rizal) is tomorrow.

Everything is ready. I have all my visual aids and papers as my guide. But still, I'm nervous.

Damn, its all on me. My partner Max did not contribute any of these. They talked even more about the woman named Amor, the woman with the strange aroma. They made that Code Name.

I can't do anything because I don't have enough evidence that I really am that person. So I'd better just keep quiet.

Ivo was just quiet on the side. Is he okay? Because me, is not. I feel like many knives are pointing on my back. I feel like I don't want to go to school anymore.

I skipped the recess again and went to the library. I'm thankful because Sharon and her friends weren't there.

I read the report again and again. I'll just read it up front. I'll explain later when our teacher asks.

This is irritating me whenever I think that its all my work. We didn't talk about this either.

This is the disadvantage of being me. I don't talk that much.

I also feel sorry for myself. I try to be kind to others, but I find it difficult to interact with them.

The recess ended and I was about to go back to our room. I heard a conversation again.

"Ivo, how are you and Amor?"

"asdfggjskskajaja ..."

they laughed again. I don't want to hear any of that.

does Ivo know? I hope I could ask him directly.

I made very heavy and noisy steps, like hello? I'm the one you're talking to, it's embarrassing, isn't it?

"Hey, Sadie. The report-"

"I'm done Max. Just read the one in the book." then I head back to the classroom. This is so irritating.

And good timing, the next teacher arrived. I can't wait to go home.

We have a quiz in Filipino. I got 19/20 score.

My classmates was amazed. Never thought these guys are supportive. Sharon smiled at me. She's the one who checked my paper, with lots of heart besides her name on corrected by.

When the bell rang, I immediately go out. Someone shouted my name but I ignored it. I'm not a cleaner today, so there is no reason to stay.

My sister is already at the gate. She was with Jae. My nephew is really cute. "Let's go." she said. I can tell her that she cried that hard. We took the air-conditioned bus.

"Is it an emergency?"

"Come with me to the hospital, where dad was admitted."

"okay."

"Do you remember that we talked to the doctor? That day? That dad has been checking up for a long time. Maybe, he'll get better. Maybe-" she couldn't stop herself from crying. Her tears are already dripping.

"Mom, don't cry please." Jae said wiping her mom's tears.

"sorry baby. Mom is no longer crying." he hugged Jae tightly.

I bent down and avoided to cry. "I understand what you want to happen. I want to do the same, that's why I have to save money, for checking up on dad." I avoid crying. but I feel like it's dripping. "I just, do not want to disturb you, since you already have your own family. I want to help him and hoping we could avoid that event again. I want to start over again. I regret that sometimes I yelled at him. That's what I realized when we were in the hospital. I'm a big shame."

My tears flowed continuously. "Let's work together, okay? From now on." ahe smiled at me.

If I go back to the first thing that happened, before the time travel, I really had no idea that papa was feeling sick, all I knew is he is forgetting everything. While I was there, I was very frustrated that time because ... my classmates were talking about me. I even stomp my feet and mutter in front of him.

I'm so frustrated, not because of him, its because of me, myself. I now remember what happened before. I was so too selfish.

Maybe this is the time, for me to change my mistakes.

I was given a chance to come back. I will not repeat the mistakes I made. I hope, I hope .... I hope I can change my fortune this time.

Even if I am only given a little time, I will make the most of it. I will change my life.