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18 & still clueless

18 & still clueless, is a novel that has a little bit of everything -Tears,drama,happiness etc.It is about a girl in her senior year who is figuring out her identity as she goes on in life.

Roopa_sree · วัยรุ่น
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5 Chs

Ugh!School Starts.

Lilia's POV:

"Wake up Lilia.In 10 mins,finish your shower and proceed to eat breakfast.After that,I will drop you off at school and pick you up after school.Remember this is your senior year.No after-school clubs and especially no boys," my mother,or rather I say Ms Jung sternly said to me.

If you are thinking that I am adopted,then the answer to that is no.It's just that her cold,distant voice always makes me wonder if she really is my mother sometimes.

"Lilia!Lilia!Stop daydreaming and get your head out of the clouds!" My mother shouted, snapping me out of my trance. "Yes,Mother.Sorry,Mother."I said in a soft whisper while looking at the blank but somewhat interesting slab of marble floor beneath my feet.She nodded and went with only the "click-clacks" of her heels echoing in the loud silence left to comfort me.No hug,no pat on the shoulder.What did I expect?Sighing,I got up and showered.Looking at the foggy mirror(caused by the hot water),I saw a distorted reflection of me-The one my mum made me in. And every time I try to wipe the fog away to see the girl beneath that ,the fog covers it up to be the girl I should be, but don't want to.

I got ready and sat in the car as my mum drove me to school.The car ride was silent throughout and I was really thankful for this awkward tension or I would have to listen to my mum's never-changing,boring speech lest we encountered a red traffic light.

But I guess I really did something so bad in my previous life that the signal had to stop.Thanks luck!

"Lilia"she started and looked at me thought the front-view mirror.If I had the guts,I would stop the car here and go to school by myself.Even if it meant I had to walk a long distance to school.Talking with my mom ,exhausts me. Mentally and physically.I get that she is a single mum and is looking out for me but is she really?She controls me and tells me what to do and when to do it.She tells me what to wear, where to go.Discreetly,I take my AirPods and put them in my ears knowing that is she going to speak.I click the play button and fix my hair to hide them.To make it look like I am actually listening.She continued, this time more firmly, "Lilia, you have to be the best.You entered a school that is average and I know you are more capable than that.Wait,you shouldn't be the best.You should be perfect.No flaws.No going back.The future is all you have to think about.Nothing else.Climb the ladder but never once topple.Never once think about anything other than studying, getting the top grade.I will be monitoring your scores, even the mini-test ones!" She said before adding, "Oh and NO after-school clubs or learning journeys."Even through the music, blasting in my ears,I could still make out the words she said and they hurt a lot. Every time my mum speaks like this,I want to convince myself that she is doing this to bring me up not to pull me down.But,I just can't help but get sad.Those words felt like arrows,laced with venom, piercing through my heart.

By the time her speech ended, we reached school.The moment I got out of the car, I could already hear whispers.Girls and boys looked at me strangely as they glanced at my way.Out of everyone, I was probably the only human being that had their mum dropping them off at 18 years. I felt a little out of place.Like I didn't fit in.There were girls who were wearing slight makeup and cute little graphic-tees under their coats which was acceptable in our school.I looked at me and at them back again.They wore simple but pretty ,intricate bracelets and necklaces while I had nothing on me.I was not allowed to wear makeup.I wasn't allowed to hang out.I wasn't allowed to wear accessories.I wasn't allowed to be "swayed" by these little things to lose focus on where I should reach. Every time I looked at them, I felt oppressed. Oppressed by my mum's controlling nature.I wasn't some puppet in my mum's play where I had to perform my best on the stage.Even in the backstage I wasn't allowed to show who I was.

I was on my way to class when I bumped into something.Wait,more like someone.

Little did I know,I would be swayed by him.