One cliche after another

After Eric managed to calm himself down, he got a massive headache. He realised-

The fucking plot... just changed like that!

Just what in the world was happening? Just what was this damn theatre play, with all these dramatic acts? One plot twist after another! Predictable?

This wasn't even predictable anymore. This exceeded everything! This was the pure boring thrill readers could hope for! Yes, it was-

"Hans! Our brilliant and wonderfully brave hero! Good job!" like an over pompous octopus ball, the king marched amongst all kneeling subjects, crying Eli on the ground, the tied up ruler, across the small centre of the island, towards Lav who calmly stood in the middle of the island.

All around him laid the shards of the exploded portal, which was forced to throw the ruler out of his dimension to completely cease to work.

Eric flapped his way next to Lav before he settled down on Lav's shoulder and wondered if he shouldn't just transform and eat this stupid king.

Who knew this old geezer trying to get it up, turned out to be an enemy! What the fuck was with this so-called good side? You don't stalk us and then try to kidnap the ruler while pushing all blame on Lav! Of course, this awesome and benevolent eating shit king didn't come to Murim for Hans, of course not, he came here for something else and it was-

"Hans, I knew I could trust you to do splendid work as always! We've been trying to find the super master-"

RULER!

"A long while now and you've done it! Finally!"

Greed flashed through the king's eyes as he stroked his nonexistent beard with a self-serving smug while Eli's sobbing incessantly penetrated this peaceful atmosphere.

Lav continued to stand there with the wind fiddling his hair as he made no attempts to do anything until it was the ruler who glared at Lav and with a voice of 1000 years of wisdom and anger, hollered, silencing everything, "So you deceived me. Coming to find me, empathising with me, was all a lie, a cunning feat to get me."

It was only then when Lav saw the disappointment in the ruler's eyes, he said, "No, this was not my intention."

But the ruler obviously didn't believe Lav. All evidence was laid out there. Anything Lav said was useless now. However, there was no need for Lav to justify himself, because the biggest expositional character, titled king, came forth and spilt everything out.

Eric's editor heart bled out at this and performed 'Extraction'. A powerful spell where one's soul forcefully extracted itself from its physical flesh body to perform the ultimate attack!

Destroying one's soul upon the whole world left the universe to shiver and explode under its might! At least it was what Eric thought his soul wanted to do, because with each word the king spit, Eric couldn't stand being in these horrific stories anymore!

"The portal can only be entered by a mixling like Hans, so prior to that we've slipped a tiny device onto you, so we can locate your position inside the portal-"

Yes, because that was so realistically possible... Eric rolled his eyes... With this universe's rule.

"Then we detonated the portal forcing the super master-"

RULER!

"Out, so here you are!" like an evil, cliche villain, leaking all his plans from the tip of his tongue that flushed out when he licked his lips, disgustingly, the king laughed evilly.

The ruler glared at the king and wanted to say something but just then his mouth was covered by some sort of device while his body was engulfed in a holographic box.

What was going on? Eric was perplexed. The technology was this advanced? The box with the ruler was now floating midair.

'Lav,' Eric quickly mentally spoke to him, 'We need to save the ruler. It doesn't matter if we make new earth our enemy. It seems like he has bad intentions.'

And what Eric said wasn't wrong, literally, the next words that were flicked out by his loose tongue, shocked Eli massively and the sobbing princess slowly came back to life.

Her beautiful face was contorted by fear. Her eyes widened drastically and her lips quivered. She staggered to the king and her frail hands gripped the king's robe. None of the young, energetic princess was left.

Now she was only a mass of despair, "Grandpa, please don't!"

Her whisper was mercilessly swatted away by the king who turned to Lav with an evil grin, "Hans, to compliment your good deeds, I am saddened to tell you that there's no use for you anymore."

Sad my ass, which part of this old geezer looked sad? Oh yeah, his mini wiener that would forever stay deflated, jealous of the protagonist's massive saber threatening to cut into his granddaughter. Though it might never happen.

"NO!" Eli screamed hysterically, "Don't kill Hans! Please don't! Grandpa! Grandpa! I beg you! I-"

"Tie her up," with one sentence, Eli was harshly reprimanded by the soldiers. She screamed and sobbed before she was confined into a box just as the ruler. No noises were heard, even when Eli banged against the box and screamed her lungs out.

'Teacher....' Lav this statue finally spoke up, 'What's happening?'

Yet only a massive disappointment hit Eric point-blank in his face. What do you mean what's happening? You got no clue either? What the hell? Did the plot change completely?

'This isn't how it's supposed to go?'

'Not really...'

Bloody amazing! Wow, would you look at that? Everything loved to mess with Eric, topple him and take him hard in!

Were the characters coming to life now? Did they act according to their own settings, completely disregarding the plot the author forced them into? Well, Lav didn't properly finish the story, so there was a possibility of the story changing but... this wasn't too bad. It might work.

However, one thing was clear. The king wanted to kill Hans and the ruler! And this shouldn't happen! What the fuck? Do you have a death wish? Going against the literal son of fate? The protagonist?

"Lav, listen, I distract them while you take the ruler and escape. I can catch up to you easily, so don't worry about me and.." but Eric's plan never worked because not even a second later- everything happened in a flash before anyone knew it- BANG!

The genre changed to gore. Pure gore. The box that held the ruler captive now only had red blood dripping off its surface, flesh, intestine and-

"LAV RUN!"

While Lav froze, wondering how his story could go down like this, Eric adapted to comply with these plot twists and shock scenarios and ushered Lav out of the trajectory of the guns. After witnessing horror, gore and death of the characters quite a few times, Eric had to say, this didn't faze him that much anymore.

Right now, Lav's life had to be prioritised. If they die here, did they die for real? This new earth's technology... Fucking frightening!

"Shoot! Get the traitor hero!" The king shouted and the soldiers instantly like wild hyenas, came for Lav's life. Fuck, he was now a traitor? Good riddance king!

But Eric had no time to think about the ridiculousness of everything, even though Hans was strong, Lav still struggled against the encirclement and deadly weapons. Even with Eric rushing to Lav at full speed, transforming, Eric was still too late! Several bullets pierced Lav's body and blood sprayed forth as if they were watching a water show.

"LAV!" Eric gritted his teeth.

Fuck, was this really happening?

While he felt his body growing and heating up, Eric quickly took Lav into his, now massive, fangs gently and flew away. But Eric as well couldn't easily dodge the shots.