whimpering sound

I like the story, it a very good idea. The biggest problem I have with this is the SFX. Instead of saying there was a whimpering sound, it says "*SFX for a dog whimpering*" or "*SFX for things turning to sand*" it just takes away from the reading experience and is really annoying.

Stopped reading this at chapter ten, it's unbearable to watch the adventure of this whimpering youngster with the soul of a hundred-year-old dark lord (this part just spoils any logic in his behavior)

MAX simping all other the place. Up to chapter 10 only thing that you can see - pathetic whimpering. 1/4 of each chapter - mc drooling about lead female. One thing that can make this readable - delete half of inner monologue. although - nice dialogue writing, good premise.

Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2 Bruh Sound effect #2

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