bible verses taken out of context funny

Amongst the Stars, Out in the Ocean, There's You

The only condition he asked of her before marriage was for her to be “good’. After marriage, she truly was well-behaved. She sees his gifts but does not react, she knows about his promiscuous relationships but does not ask. She holds no hope of garnering his love and affection, and never once, did she forget to take her Plan B pills. She even complied and signed the divorce papers! With a grim look on his face, he stopped the woman who was about to escape. She grinned sweetly, “Young master Sulliven, don’t forget, we have gotten a divorce, we are completely uninvolved now!” The man shredded the divorce papers and smiled with his teeth clenched, “Ask the bun in your stomach whether or not we are still involved!”

Zhao Xibao · General

Watch Out! Danger Ahead

This was the most dangerous mission but it had the greatest reward. The next second could be the end of her life but she was at the point of no return. She might finally become a God, and stand above all living beings!

Smiling WR · Urban

Getting $10 Trillion Out Of Nowhere

Connor McDonald delivered food as his part-time job. One day, he had to deliver food to a hotel infamous for being a sex hotel. When the room door opened, he couldn't believe his eyes. His girlfriend was half-naked, cuddling with a rich kid from their class. "Well, now that you've found out, I guess it's time that you know," the rich kid scoffed. "Your girlfriend is dating me now. "Connor, give up on me. You're an orphan and have no money. Even if you deliver food for the rest of your life, there's no way you can compete with him. You are not good enough for me. Let's break up," his girlfriend said. Connor was utterly dumbfounded, wondering why God would inhibit poor people from being in a normal relationship. Just as he was wallowing in pain, his phone suddenly rang. He received an interesting text message. [You have received 1,000,000,000.00 dollars in your account.] "What the hell?" Connor exclaimed. "Who the heck just transferred 1 billion dollars to me?"

Silent Wind · Urban

Reincarnated With A Glitched System: Why Is My MP Not Running Out?

Alternative Title: "Reincarnated as the Hero's Daughter: Why Is My MP Not Running Out? After living a life filled with hardships and suffering which ended in her ultimate sacrifice to protect her family and defeat the foes that she hated the most, our protagonist suddenly finds herself being brought to a white space where a God of Reincarnation quickly realizes he committed a mistake. "Wait, you're not from Earth?! Oh, my bad!" After being mistaken for a "good soul" due to her high positive karma count, she is reincarnated by error and given a glitched system as her only gift to explore this new world. Now, she finds herself being reincarnated as a half-elf girl named Sylph with two loving and doting parents. However, as she grows up, she begins to find weird things... "Why is my father just slaying a dragon leisurely?" "Eh? My mother can heal any wound or disease?!" "Wait! Why is my MP never running out? What's going on in here?!" Join Sylph as she explores a new world of endless possibilities, fights against the ghosts of the past that torment her parents’ lives, discovers herself and makes good friends along the way. Who knows? Perhaps this time she’ll even save the world! MP = Mana Points Over 100000 Words available for FREE! Daily Chapters

PancakesWitch · Fantasy

I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense

Soaking in lava, sleeping in an Ancient Killing Formation; Traversing alternative worlds in a heavy armored vehicle; Riding a Gundam Sentinel and slaying immortals with Godzilla... I got myself a stat system, and from then on, I only beefed up my defense! I just can't help it, I'm afraid of pain! The Daluo Golden Immortals of other worlds are all really fierce, and all of them know super ultimate move with infinite power. They have little meetings every day to discuss how to break through my defense. I really don't know why they're so obsessed...XD

Fish and Meat · Eastern

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Peak. Not much more to say. Here's some bible verses: So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:8 - KJV. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:8 - ESV So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:8 - NKJV

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It's very funny and entertaining with good mash up of many verses . Even smuts are good.

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I have read some chapters and all I wanted to say was, wow! It was a blast! The storyline is interesting! From the first chapter to the next, with each contents and all, I can not! This is such a good work! And I love the verses from the bible❤❤Thank you for creating this story, author! Keep it up!

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The big boss took the villain script

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Reborn to satisfy the craving

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Quickly wear it, the blackened male lead is also pure

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Host, there's something wrong with her style

The unlucky Pei Yan signed an agreement with the system in a fit of anger. Every plane had a hidden quest that had to be completed. If it wasn't completed, they would have to load and start over. In the first plane, he had thought that he would be able to rule the world after completing the mission, but in the end, he had died in the place of the Right Prime Minister. In the second plane, he thought that he could inherit the family property after completing the mission, but he was stabbed to death by Madman in public. …… In the Nth plane, she thought that she would become the Sea King who spread her net everywhere. In the end, she met the man who left a mark on her heart in every plane. Pei Yan was happy and angry, and decided to give up the responsibility! [I just wanted to play around, but I'm serious about you.]

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