zane removing the treat

This was a good book but sad at the same time it was not right how Josh treated Zane I wish he would have met Drew instead of Josh Zane and Drew would be perfect together.

Hmm, this one is to not break the 5-star streak. Anyways, jokes aside, as the EDITOR who is removing all the Chinese references and racial jokes and replacing them with some of mine, I will answer all the questions in the replies of this comment. Treat this review as an query box for this ff. An answer to a common question - No, this ain't a harem.

The story is honestly amazing despite my hate filled comments aimed against Zane. Zane really needs to take a very long walk on a short bridge. He is scum in every possible way. My biggest fear with this book is Gianna allowing Zane to bully or gaslight her. She needs to stay independent and take precausions to prioritize her own happiness. I realize books are fiction and that the author will probably aim for Zane and Gianna to have a happy ending together, but I really don't want that. Zane don't deserve her. Why should a woman have to accept suffering just to make a man happy? The past can't be changed even if Zane perhaps will in the future. For anyone reading my review, please give this book a chance. The writing is really good and be prepared for many strong emotions! Lets all wish for Gianna to stay strong and independant!

I dig the main character and Zane is hot as hell.

For the specific areas you mentioned: Plot: 7.5/10 so far You have several connected threads: Zane quitting his job. His history with Russ. The Spiral, White Lotus, and Leons. Zane’s mysterious past and the people who worked with him. Ivy knowing more about Zane’s past. The mysterious Cloud message. The jade cup being stolen. Miss Black and her group pursuing the thief. The strongest part is that the reader knows there is a larger story behind Zane, but they don't know everything yet. That creates curiosity. One thing to watch is the number of new names and organizations appearing quickly. As you continue, giving each one a little time to become familiar will make the plot easier to follow. Character development: 7/10 Zane is already showing different sides of himself. At work he's frustrated and sarcastic, with Russ he's confrontational because of their history, and with Ivy he's more relaxed and playful. The scene where Zane says: “It would only put them in danger after what Russ did.” is particularly useful because it tells us that Russ didn't just annoy him. Something serious happened in their past. Ivy is also becoming interesting because her behavior suggests she knows or understands things about Zane that the reader hasn't been told yet. Her suddenly becoming concerned after closing her bedroom door is a good little character moment. Backstory: 8/10 This is probably one of the most intriguing parts right now. You've mentioned: The Spiral White Lotus Leons Russ's betrayal Zane's former people Zane's skills The mysterious codename Cloud Ivy learning her skills from Zane But you haven't dumped the entire history onto the reader. That's good. There are gaps, and those gaps create questions. The important thing is eventually answering those questions. Mystery is useful when the reader feels like there is an answer waiting for them, rather than information being withheld forever. Character relationships: 8/10 This is actually one of the strongest aspects so far. Zane and Ivy have a believable sibling dynamic. They can argue, tease each other, and then immediately shift into concern or affection. The food scene is a nice example because Ivy goes from: “Your problem, not mine.” to immediately grabbing the food. 😂 Zane and Russ are different. Their relationship has genuine history and resentment behind it, which makes their confrontation more meaningful than simply having two characters dislike each other. Pacing: 7/10 The story moves fairly quickly. That's good for keeping things interesting, but you're approaching the point where you should occasionally slow down and let important moments breathe. For example, Zane's history with Russ seems important enough that eventually giving the reader a proper flashback or revealing exactly what happened could have a strong impact. And the Cloud message is potentially important because it connects Zane's ordinary life to whatever he was involved in before. Overall, I'd currently put the story around 7.5/10 as an early draft, with the biggest strengths being mystery, character relationships, and the amount of unanswered history surrounding Zane. And importantly, I'm judging it as a story that's still being built. You haven't reached the parts where the larger plot has fully revealed itself yet, so I wouldn't treat the current score as a judgment of the finished book. There is still a lot of room for the story to grow.