The real man in the Divine College's Mighty Soldier Company
Hey, hello friends, I'm Hua Ye. Just now, a friend asked me what happened to Teacher Hua. He sent me a few screenshots. Let me take a look! Roar! It turned out that there were two young men yesterday.
They were in their twenties. One was called Ge Xiaolun, and the other was called Lin Xiaofei.
They said, hey…One of them said that my cervical vertebra was damaged from training on the surface of the star. Teacher Hua, can you teach me your black hole technique and treat it?
I said yes. I told him that it wasn't good to train your death energy on the surface of a star, but he was not convinced.
I say, little kid, you two can fire at me, but he won't budge.
He said that it was useless.
This is Black Hole Force. Traditional techniques are all about force.
He insisted on trying it out with me, and I said yes. Sigh! As soon as I finished speaking, he stood up with a bang. Very quickly!
Then, he used a Dragon Fist. Boom, a lightning strike. I blocked it all! I'm afraid I'll hurt them, so I'll withdraw my fist.
I stopped fighting when I was withdrawing my fist. They suddenly attacked me. One threw a two-way foil at me, and the other hit me with a vitality bomb. I was careless and didn't dodge!
He was beaten into a paper man by them. I say, young man, if you don't talk about martial arts, you won't understand.
Ah, they immediately apologized, saying…they said they were just randomly shooting, but they weren't randomly shooting. A proper two-way foil and a terrifying vital energy bomb. Clearly, they came prepared.
These two young people didn't care about martial arts and came to cheat! Sneak attack, my thirty thousand year old comrade. Is this good? This was not good!
I advise! These two young people should reflect on themselves and not be so smart in the future. Uh…the universe should prioritize harmony and martial arts. Don't engage in internal strife.
The first page is just a whole blob of information thrown into your face about characters that haven't even been brought into the story until much later. The paragraph breaks are easy on the eyes, but the writing is ******* in composition and formatting. It gives the impression of a **** novel written by an angsty 10-year old. There is a lot of room to improve with the first page alone, starting with the doing-away of the stereotypes. There's no way the author has been to high school in their life with how the characters and setting are described. Fix grammar/punctuation, content, characters, setting, names, etc. 0/10