"An everyday man gets thrown into the world of twilight thousands of years before the start of the plot. With immortality and incredible abilities. How will this man's presence change the outcome of the original story?" [ this is a slow-burn fanfiction; the MC is just trying to experience life and enjoy it, not to take over the world and rule from the shadows.] I do not own twilight or the characters of the twilight world, all that belongs to me are my own characters.
Dear Author, I really enjoyed your work and must say: you have come close to the point where even Martin himself might have praised you. I was especially struck by the contrast between the characters of Joffrey and Stefan Baratheon in your story. It reminds me of Balerion the Broken Spear and Maekar Targaryen as brothers — different from their own, but with a slight distinction. It all depends on the fact that Stefan is younger, while Balerion was the elder, but that does not change the essence. Essentially, both are geniuses — geniuses within a certain circle, and in a certain sense, ideals who might have been able to make the kingdom better. You depict this contrast very well, as well as the fraternal feelings, including Joffrey's envy, since the entire Baratheon family — or rather, more the Lannisters than the Baratheons — adores Stefan. Robert Baratheon, as you mentioned, gave him attention a few times. He is loved by Jaime Lannister, Sercey Lannister dotes on him, and Tyrion Lannister respects him. Naturally, Tommen and Myrcella Baratheon adore him as well, since you wrote that he played with them and read them bedtime stories. Even Tywin Lannister, who can be considered an architect of kingdoms and the materializer of Gdajdey from Costomer in every sense, seems to have received the perfect heir not only for Costomer but for the entire kingdom. This aspect and parallel are very similar to Balerion the Broken Spear: his knighthood, honor, strength, and resolve. At first, Stefan seemed somewhat clumsy, but that was quickly compensated. You made him thoughtful, decisive, and determined, which perfectly highlights the contrast. I greatly admire that. It is precisely in this contrast that Joffrey's envy of his brother emerges, especially since Stefan is younger — and Joffrey constantly notices: “Stefan this, Stefan that,” with the whole family focused on him. Here, one line fits perfectly. I mostly watched the series The Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, and I was struck by a line from Leonel Baratheon, also known as the Laughing Whirlwind. He said to Balerion: “Perhaps your mother loved you more. For those who do not receive love fight with greater determination and desperation” — or something along those lines. Here we see an interesting parallel: Balerion the Broken Spear was perfect in his time, just as you portray Stefan. Joffrey, in turn, plays the role of Maekar. The only difference is that Maekar was younger, while Joffrey is older, but that is offset by what he does. Finally, what nickname would you give Balerion? For example, he seems like a prototype of Rhaenyra Targaryen from House of the Dragon, or, as she is also called, the Queen Who Never Was. I would almost give Balerion the same title, more precisely: “the king who will never come” or “the king who will never be.”