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KyatusLv152mth
2024-11-28 04:37

Very neat concept but it is written really badly. The chapter are like just 3 mega paragraphs and it is all just describing what is happening from the perspective of the MC. If the author wants to remake this then they should create actual dialogue as well as slow down pace a little. We don’t know anything about the MC we are just told he is a genius and can do anything and learn anything really well. Also they kind of just warp the power system a little bit to fit their needs and just have the MC create a bunch of Hatsus.

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ZGunAuthor

sorry I'm not very good at dialog scenes I might make other novels and then come back once I'm better at them to redo this one

KyatusLv15

That sounds like a great idea. I have seen multiple authors do this and a majority of the time it works out great. My biggest recommendation for further work on this novel is to experiment with your writing and listen to feedback so you could continue to get better so your next fic or book is better.

ZGun:sorry I'm not very good at dialog scenes I might make other novels and then come back once I'm better at them to redo this one
ZGunAuthor

Ok I've redone every chapter with dialogue a few extra scenes and some more backstory. Do you think it sounds better?

Kyatus:That sounds like a great idea. I have seen multiple authors do this and a majority of the time it works out great. My biggest recommendation for further work on this novel is to experiment with your writing and listen to feedback so you could continue to get better so your next fic or book is better.
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