webnovel
Omer_Alfarog_Hamza_6265
Omer_Alfarog_Hamza_6265Lv24mth
2024-10-21 16:17

I don't understand you're saying in the previous chapter that he won't hide his talents but when the next chapter comes you want him to focus on keeping a low profile . I even noticed repetition in most of the paragraphs. The story is good and the ability is promising. Please reduce the padding and focus on the characters’ interaction. For example, his interaction with the students was very passive and forced and not necessary from what I remember. The class was full of about 60 students. I don’t think they would interact with him quickly. He even used the fire method, but they focused on boxing. It’s not possible. Even Danzo's reaction is that the Uchiha Village is a large village and every year there will be a new batch of students, so he can't focus on it so quickly. In Konoha, there were shinobi who were more talented than the protagonist, and also since you mentioned that the Uchiha haven't been wiped out yet, isn't it possible to focus on them?

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Related Stories

Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.5
864 Chs