webnovel
LT_Ryuu_XLv44mth
2024-10-07 21:37

It’s a good, wry good idea of a story. There’s a huge plot hole in the first chapter to the 3rd chapter. She wakes up and doesn’t understand why she’s in a new body(female snap) only to contradict that by saying she planned it all out with the ‘company’. She then goes for a 4th magic system when she already has 3 to use. She has Roy mustang’s template, also another persons who I don’t know(somthing to do with metals), and Harry Potter magic(snaps template) she then goes for a magic girl magic system. She also planes to steal from the ‘company’ by getting a new character template each week and putting all the memories in a metal(metal magic thing) this is such a broken thing that it would probably ruin the story but thankfull the ‘company’ read her mind and said no and there would be consequences if she does this, and so they compensate her with the full power of the magic girl magic system right off the bat. This just completely ruins that aspect as well, why go for another magic system in the first place then. I also asked if the aurther could explain this ‘company’ so we can understand what it can or can’t do. I would also suggest to breaking the really long paragraph up, it takes up my full screen and I have to scroll a bit to get to the end of the paragraph. Other than that, it is aurthers first book so its pretty good.

Liked by 7 people

LIKE
Replies2
This_Humble_DragonLv4

The company is from the waifu catalogue. They are interdimensional slavers when a character is captured they make a limited number of copys of them and sell them. They hire contractors (normaly people from our world) to actually stamp(enslave)the original character. To help the contractors the company gives them points to buy perks, lures(mind control or sex/romance/people skills) characters(those copy’s from earlier), templates and defenses the amount of points they receive is dependent on how powerful the world the contractor goes to. Also the contractor gets points for capturing characters and also from selling them.

LT_Ryuu_XLv4

I don’t know why the aurther could not explain that then, I was confused about the company. But even then there is a plot hole in the beginning that said she didn’t know how she got them then the next chapter she planed to be in that body with the company’s help.

This_Humble_Dragon:The company is from the waifu catalogue. They are interdimensional slavers when a character is captured they make a limited number of copys of them and sell them. They hire contractors (normaly people from our world) to actually stamp(enslave)the original character. To help the contractors the company gives them points to buy perks, lures(mind control or sex/romance/people skills) characters(those copy’s from earlier), templates and defenses the amount of points they receive is dependent on how powerful the world the contractor goes to. Also the contractor gets points for capturing characters and also from selling them.
Other Reviews
Related Stories

Pokemon Alternate Universe Adventures

A man from an Earth gets the choice to start over in any Universe and chooses an Alternate Pokemon Universe. Let us see if his journey to the top is succesful and the impact he will have on his new world. Pokemon is owned by Nintendo, Game Freak and Creatures Inc. I just use their sandbox for the plot of my MC and my OCs. This will be a "slow" paced story, in fact it's "super slow paced", so please don't expect the MC to directly start his journey in 20 chapters or so, actually multiply that by like 15. A lot is going to happen before that happens. The first 10-20 chapters or so are information heavy, depending on what kind of reader you are. I try to keep my chapter length between 2000 and 3000 words per chapter. My release rate is 4 chapter/week for now. I have a patre*n for those that want to support me with access to some advance chapters as a thank you. patre*n.com/Azrail93 This is an alternate pokemon universe so there will be differences to the games, manga and anime. So if something in the story is different it is most likely on purpose. The original sources are seen as suggestions not laws. Differences can be: Type variants, evolution conditions, strength mechanics, world building and more. If I am at some point asking for reader input I will do so but otherwise I will ignore most suggestions. So please don't spam things like catch this pokemon or do that next. I have my plot planned and external input will be considered when asked for. If I see a suggestion that I believe fit my plot flow I will use it and will credit the commentor. Comments on spelling and grammar mistakes are welcome. I will try to correct said mistakes with time. Constructive criticism will be read and considered. Insult and hate comments will be ignored or deleted depending on severity. Readers naturally can comment their dislike but one worders will be ignored. If the reason for the dislike is explained I will read it. Like previously mentioned pure insults and hate comments will be ignored or deleted. The same is true for simple hate reviews or insulting ones. Reviews complaining about something I warned about, such as the slow pace, will be deleted as well.

Azrail93 · Anime & Comics
4.5
850 Chs