So, Author, (although I doubt you’ll see this) here’s some feedback from me as of chapter 38. Firstly, some positives-I think you’re making pretty likeable an interesting characters. At least, I can see myself being interested. I also like the idea of him needing to clean up the business before they become too problematic. For some areas of improvement-I think you could be slowing down on the characters and the focus. Especially when it comes to Pyris’ relationships with these ladies. We jumped from his sister to the vampire princess to his assistant to now this succubus. It feels that you’re eager to get to the harem and the excitement that not all of your intent is coming through. It’s as if you’re trying to explain why someone should watch a series by jumping into the highlights with minimal context given. Let yourself and the characters linger and build into the world via varying dynamics. I don’t mean to talk shit author. I’m actually enjoying your series so far and I think you can get much better.
Liked it!
LIKE
No, no I didn't think for once that you're talking s***t, it was a very good insight and you're right at some points, I will improve to that and the character as you read on you will see the improvements. Thanks for the review and I will see that i correct the mistakes. Don't stop here and continue this.
