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Alpha_astro
Alpha_astroLv69mth
2024-07-31 00:19

Across America, Starting with the Boxing Champion——>mtl 纵横美利坚,从拳王开始——>Raw

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Worldofimagination
WorldofimaginationLv12

I will be honest in my critique. I know it is not the fault of the translating author, but I have to give a truthful evaluation. First of all, the fanfic is good. I like the premise of mentioning real people in their stories, it feels immersive. However, this story has glaring errors, mainly in trying to portray the main character in a favorable light all the time, even creating moments just to make the protagonist look ‘cool.’ This, to me, ruins the fanfic. Additionally, the protagonist’s dialogues with women are extremely forced. The girls meet the protagonist just once and say, ‘Wow, you are handsome.’ Seriously? That doesn’t exist. What girl would say that in the first conversation with a guy? Another forced scene is when the author created a situation where the guy was street racing with the Fast and Furious actors. They meet for the first time and then are committing crimes together? And just because the actors play racing roles in movies doesn’t mean they are racers themselves, but actors. The author completely lost track between reality and fiction. Some may say that it’s just a fanfic and shouldn’t be taken so seriously, but I sincerely prefer something realistic. If the world is based on one like ours, make it believable. Another thing I have to complain about are some rather nonsensical words throughout the fanfic. It seemed like the author was emphasizing all the time that a certain character is black and has dark skin, and at some points trying to favor China. This made me uncomfortable as I read.

Raja_Sihir
Raja_SihirLv2
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