webnovel
Wildegarden
WildegardenLv116mth
2024-10-19 20:03

I recommend this story for new reader, it's pretty fun (so far) The characters are compelling, the background of the universe seems good The writing is competent EXCEPT for a few lines like "The MC did not know, but the people watching were in awe of his power" (I'm paraphrasing a little, but there are decfinitely lines like these), these feel a little amateurish compared to the rest of the writing style Upon encountering a line like this, you are instantly taken out of the story out of the shoes of the MC and feel like you're sitting in front of the Author listening to them praising their own character or like a kid being told a bed time story It also break the cardinal rule of 'Show don't tell'. I personally feel these lines are unnecessary but if the author feels otherwise, might i suggest simply making one of the supporting characters say this to the MC himself? At least that way we're not pulled out the story Other than that, I have zero complaints....

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