Read up to Ch. 7, not bad, but needs some rework done.
-Grammar is only decent, there are quite a few mistakes here and there.
-System is sentient, don’t like that. Also the regeneration seems useless, you need to expand on your explanation more, cause the stats just resetting to zero for a better body doesn’t make sense, that’s what END is for by YOUR explanation.
-In the beginning, mc bought items in public, and also while training for the army at their location which is stupid as hell. Also talking to himself instead of just thinking, people really need to stop writing this way in regards to systems.
-Mc is 34, ends up joining the army so late which is dumb, if you were gonna have him go to pandora that way then why would you have him be 34? Also he seems more like a teenager with the way you’ve written him, what is the point author? No reason at all whatsoever.
-Every explanation is pretty bare bones from how he got here and getting the system, to joining the army and currently going on a mission, even the training itself seems so lackluster. Not enough context everywhere in general, but barely ok enough to push the story forward which makes this story weak.
