Good book, bad MC The grammar is fine and the idea is good, but what takes the novel down is the worldbuilding and MC. World building: has too strong magic for a wand so he can automatically do windless magic, the fifth house is a new concept for me but it’s poorly executed in this novel and too good/OP compared to the other. The reason for them not knowing why the house was there was rushed and poorly thought out aswell. MC: The mc was a baby for 1000 that got his knowledge though some family magic, he has a superiority complex were he looks down on everyone in the story like Ron, Harry, Malfoy and every teacher it feels like. It get annoying real quick that he doesn’t try to get to know them but just judges them even when they are nice. He doesn’t show any basic respect for anyone even when they are nice to him and is like “yeah you would probably do something for your ‘greater good’” even when he just wants to know some basic knowledge that is pretty relevant for the future. So overall he just feels like a kid Malfoy that can do wandless magic and comes from a even better family.
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LIKEGave up at chaper 8 Tell me if it gets better or he keeps being a spoiled kid with a superiority complex
World building: fair, I like a training montage as well. I can see that it doesn't show growth just boom now I have a new power for no particular reason not because I worked for it, but because time passed and I needed to do it, so I did it to be strong deal. As for the house coming about suddenly, I do think it is a little to matter of fact, like hah it exists because it is said it exists. And that the only form of confirmation is the world of the MC in just a few paragraphs. But I do think the reasoning for its existence is explained well enough. Not sure if you mean superiority complex as defined as hiding his insecurity, or more the association of him seeming to be a d*** by judging people in a poor light? As for the disrespect to the characters, I think it's more of a preconceived associations with their movie and book actions. Which, I feel are pretty warranted. Dumbledore uses the lives of the few for the lives of the many mentality, but half-arses it. But will still utilize the method regularly. Ron is easily one of the worst light characters. That honestly barely gets better in the story. He was decent comedic relief in the books though. Malfoy is basically Peter Pettigrew. Just less cowardly and more emotionally conflicted. Harry he doesn't dislike Harry, he just doesn't want to be caught up in becoming part of the golden trio, so he distances himself. Is it a d*** move? Yeah. Does it make sense? Yeah. I don't understand how he seems to dislike the teachers though. Is it because they're called Dumbledore's entourage? As for improving on that? Probably not as much as you'd hoped if you dislike him this much this early.
And that’s fine, it is your story to tell not mine. I just wrote how I saw him and the feeling I got from him. Good luck with the book it’s just not for me, so wrote a review for people with the same taste in books as me
Echo_Chamber:World building: fair, I like a training montage as well. I can see that it doesn't show growth just boom now I have a new power for no particular reason not because I worked for it, but because time passed and I needed to do it, so I did it to be strong deal. As for the house coming about suddenly, I do think it is a little to matter of fact, like hah it exists because it is said it exists. And that the only form of confirmation is the world of the MC in just a few paragraphs. But I do think the reasoning for its existence is explained well enough. Not sure if you mean superiority complex as defined as hiding his insecurity, or more the association of him seeming to be a d*** by judging people in a poor light? As for the disrespect to the characters, I think it's more of a preconceived associations with their movie and book actions. Which, I feel are pretty warranted. Dumbledore uses the lives of the few for the lives of the many mentality, but half-arses it. But will still utilize the method regularly. Ron is easily one of the worst light characters. That honestly barely gets better in the story. He was decent comedic relief in the books though. Malfoy is basically Peter Pettigrew. Just less cowardly and more emotionally conflicted. Harry he doesn't dislike Harry, he just doesn't want to be caught up in becoming part of the golden trio, so he distances himself. Is it a d*** move? Yeah. Does it make sense? Yeah. I don't understand how he seems to dislike the teachers though. Is it because they're called Dumbledore's entourage? As for improving on that? Probably not as much as you'd hoped if you dislike him this much this early.
