Horribly rusehd with a murderhobo for a MC honestly sub par as far as one piece fics go between just the horribly single mindedness of the MC to the fact the MC kill's Luffy and manipulate's Makino all before Ch.5 nah not gonna be worth the read the start of the fic set a horrible and poorly written precedent the MC has 0 character aside from Murderhobo and half assed plans 2/5 at best and even then that's inly because of the update stability
Liked by 18 people
LIKEGoodluck the premise is ok for this fic has room to be great but murderhobo from the start with no warning's or Evil Mc tags just throw's the whole thing off if the MC was a callous indifferent guy sure wouldn't care but the fact he tried to justify it and act like he was remorseful of "having" (~cough cough ~ Bullsnit cough~) to do so and the absolute lack of a coherent person as the MC like we know next to nothing about them blamd description of his appearance no backstory whatsoever aside from he was a rather garbage Marine and the last couple chapters make me question this fic being One Piece since when did Nami buy and sell slaves or maybe I am misreading them but yeah there's a few issues here that break the fic for casual readers which is the majority for One Piece fic's in general take your time and map put how you want the story to expand sit down and put yourself in your MC's mindset if you can no rush to get chapter's out 1 every 2-5 days is perfectly fine even 1 every 7-14 days is ok not great but some awesome fics are released that way don't feel like you got to rush out chapters and miss out on fleshing out your story and developing it into a journey you got some good things going in grammer and structure well above the average writer on WN but the negatives do massively outweigh those few positives wish you the best might check back in on the fic later down the road but as is atm not my thing
thank you for your review
hello just added this story to my collection, and wanted to Ask you who will be in his ?harem? and if Koala and Uta will be one his Wifes.? and btw i like what you did with Luffy funk him, every One Piece FanFiction i read not it Has someone else as MC, i do not even read og manga and anime also, because Luffy as MC makes me want to drown him in the sea.
uta will join,as for koala,I am thing how to add her.