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Ash_D_Born
Ash_D_BornLv41yr
2024-05-13 18:20

bro I’m loving this but please also continue the Doctor one

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Castor_Med0
Castor_Med0Lv3
Victor_Venegas
Victor_VenegasLv2

I'll start with the things I like, I always enjoy interesting world building as well as the resource management trope, much more so if it means the development of a world in the medieval era whit modern knowledge. From there things go downhill, there is much more focus on the secondary characters describing the main character's good qualities than actually showing those qualities. Power, strength, wisdom and all the things that many of us want to obtain in one way or another is quite good, the problem is when to make these qualities shine you have to overshadow that of others, you are not the smartest person in a room because others are stupid, you are the "smartest" because you have more knowledge. Lastly, and the reason why I will unfortunately stop reading what in my opinion could have been something much more interesting to follow is the whole bloodline excuse, I say excuse because it seems that there is no other way in which the author can manage making his character shine so he decided to make it extremely powerful basically for free, in my opinion the most interesting thing about a story where a character develops is the development itself, from the age of 10+ the protagonist already has a super developed body almost better than some adults and now at 16 he will have (apart from the already superior advantages it had) even more advantages, there is nothing more to read, will the mad king do something stupid that will endanger something? It doesn't matter, the protagonist will solve it without a problem after all he have a lot of charisma and now almost super powers. Thanks for your efforts, good luck with your story.

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