the story was generally fine but unfortunately it has a co author and there character/chapter is so hard to read and down right annoying when u can read it! i was so frustrated by it, that i couldn't even get through the 5th chapter!!!
Saeko_Kaburagi
Liked it!
LIKEthats... more of a personal/biased opinion in all honesty. felt like they were trying to make him into being a douche just for the sake of it and it annoyed me! not to be rude but i generally like ur stories! and then it felt like someone took a crayon to it... but yeah i gave it 1 star at the time because i was really frustrated. if i could i'd probably go back and change it 3 stars or so because it wasn't that bad
Saeko_Kaburagi:But can you explain what was annoying about it?
if i had to say anything then i feel like the best would be to slow down? it felt more like u were trying to cram everything in without really explaining anything. like when ur guy first died, i in all honesty can't really tell how! all there is, is he's hammering away, then theres a sword in his heart! i'm guessing there was an explosion or something? but i don't really know?! so yeah it felt like u crammed two or more paragraphs together and left out the contexts!
Geokit:You have anything more you can give? Something that might help me improve?
I didn't really think that to be honest, I'm not used to doing things in first person, and really it was trying to be that.
sean_robbins:if i had to say anything then i feel like the best would be to slow down? it felt more like u were trying to cram everything in without really explaining anything. like when ur guy first died, i in all honesty can't really tell how! all there is, is he's hammering away, then theres a sword in his heart! i'm guessing there was an explosion or something? but i don't really know?! so yeah it felt like u crammed two or more paragraphs together and left out the contexts!